The clown who smiles forever, always sheds tears

I don't want too many people to participate in my life, so I choose to smile, pretend not to care about anything, pretend that everything doesn't matter, in fact, only I know how silly this is. It seems to be the clown of the circus. When the lights are on, the night is four, and the makeup is thickened, and the exaggerated smile is used to sell cheap happiness. Follow the light, reflection, teasing, ridicule. The so-called return is just a sparse applause. When the end of the song is scattered, leaving only the silence of the full silence and the footsteps, it will sit in the corner of the background, take a moment, wipe off the thick camouflage, and face the broken mirror, helpless smile .

I am just a small supporting role. No one will care too much about the sadness of the little character. I can only hide behind the curtain, secretly open the scarlet curtain, watch the protagonist crying in front of the audience, laughing, their irrelevant sadness, their disease-free They can be willing to ask for tears from others. Any concern, any sympathy, in their view, is justified. The supporting role, what can be done is to cover up the inner sorrow, sadness, numbness, no matter how many wounds will be sacrificed in the past, the supporting role will always endure silently, because no matter what kind of pain, no one cares. . I hope that someone will care, but what I get is just an impatient, don't make trouble.

What people care most about is never available. No matter how many warm things around you, the most inaccessible is often the cold existence. And when the only concern around me is desperate, it will start another cycle of remembrance.

The sorrow of the substitute is that they cannot perform their true self. Can only live in the shadow of others, no specific name, no real identity. Just under the false clothes of others, they help them to accomplish what they don't want to do. When it is exhausted, it will be thrown outside and left unattended. The play is still staged, but the avatar is just a string, and there will be no trace in the cast. There are some people who have entered the play too deeply, have made lies a promise, and repeatedly asked the protagonist, the vows of the past? What promises have you made? Are they all fake? Unfortunately, no one will respond. Those oaths are certainly not fake, except that the object of swearing is not a substitute, but the one he substitutes. Yes, the protagonist always promises a lot, but, sorry, not for you. As a substitute, you don't have the right to be loved. The only thing you can do is to let the protagonist think that you are the one he loves. After the play is over, you should leave.

No one will be willing to wear someone else's shell, but the fact is that you can't choose.

Never expect to have dazzling happiness, just want an honest answer. I don't want to cry.

First day: Shi Mai