英文作文批改dcard

以下是一篇英文作文，標題為「My View on the Environment」，需要您對其進行批改：

My View on the Environment

I believe that the environment is one of the most important issues facing society today. From the air we breathe to the water we drink, the environment has a profound impact on our health and well-being. However, it seems that many people do not take the environment seriously enough, and this is causing significant harm to our planet.

Firstly, I think that we need to take action to reduce our carbon footprint. This means reducing our use of fossil fuels and adopting more sustainable methods of transportation, such as cycling or walking. It also means being mindful of how we use energy when we are at home, such as turning off lights and appliances when we are not using them.

Secondly, we need to protect our natural resources. This includes conserving water, which is becoming increasingly scarce in many parts of the world. We should also ensure that we do not damage our forests or other ecosystems by cutting down trees or polluting them with harmful substances.

Thirdly, I believe that we need to educate people about the importance of the environment. Schools and universities should provide more courses on environmental issues, and people should be encouraged to take action to protect the planet. We also need to raise awareness about the negative effects of climate change and encourage people to take steps to reduce their carbon footprint.

Finally, I think that we need to be more responsible citizens and act on behalf of future generations. We should try to make our communities healthier and safer places to live by doing our part to reduce pollution and make sure that resources are used efficiently. We should also try to make our voices heard in political decisions that affect the environment.

I am writing this letter in hopes of receiving your feedback on my viewpoint. Please let me know what I can improve and how I can make my writing more clear and persuasive. Thank you for your time and consideration.

根據您的要求，以下是對這篇英文作文的批改：

這篇作文總體上表達了作者對環境的看法，包括減少碳排放、保護自然資源、教育公眾、成為負責任的公民等方面。作文的語言表達清晰，論點明確，但在一些方面還可以改進：

1. 語法和拼寫錯誤：在一些地方，如「do not take the environment seriously enough」和「cutting down trees or polluting them with harmful substances」，存在一些語法和拼寫錯誤，需要修正。

2. 結構：作文的開頭部分引入了環境問題的重要性，但主體部分似乎缺乏一個明確的邏輯結構，可以將論點分為四個部分（減少碳排放、保護自然資源、教育公眾、成為負責任的公民），並在每部分下再細分小點，使文章更有條理。

3. 語言表達：在一些地方，如「air we breathe to the water we drink」，句子可以更加精煉和有說服力。

4. 結尾：結尾部分可以增加一些對未來的展望或行動呼籲，使文章更有力量。

修改後的作文如下：

My View on the Environment

Environmental issues are paramount in today』s society, affecting our health, safety, and well-being. Many people fail to recognize this fact, leading to significant harm to our planet.

Firstly, we must reduce our carbon footprint by adopting sustainable methods of transportation and being mindful of our energy usage at home. This means walking or cycling instead of using fossil fuels, turning off lights and appliances when not in use, and conserving energy where possible.

Secondly, we must prioritize protecting our natural resources, particularly water, which is becoming increasingly scarce in many parts of the world. We must also ensure that forests and other ecosystems are not damaged by deforestation or pollution.

Thirdly, we must educate people about the importance of the environment through increased courses in schools and universities. Citizens should be encouraged to take action to protect the planet and raise awareness about the negative effects of climate change.

Lastly, we must be responsible citizens and act on behalf of future generations by making our communities healthier and safer places to live, reducing pollution, and advocating for political decisions that protect the environment.

In conclusion, we must prioritize the environment and take action now to ensure a sustainable future for ourselves and future generations. Thank you for your time and consideration.

希望以上回答對您有所幫助。

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