100 humorous classic quotes

1, chess and painting will not, laundry is too tired to cook.

2, salted fish turned over, or salted fish.

3, Lei Feng did a good job without leaving a name, but everything is recorded in the diary.

4. People who do not want to be slaves are willing to be slaves of the renminbi.

5. I am not a prince. Why do girls meet me and think that I should be a princess!

6. A woman’s incompetence is a virtue. I must be too wicked.

7, knowledge is like underwear, can not see but is very important.

8. Women like men who are bad and bad, not men who like to grow up.

9. Our love died on this day, just to give each other a chance to be born again.

10, not obsessed brother, sister in law will beat you up.

11, I am a white-collar worker: I received a salary today, paid the rented water and electricity, bought oil rice noodles, touched the pocket, sighed, this month's salary is white-collar workers...

12, really a warrior, dare to face his face without makeup.

13, drunk, I don't accept anyone, just help the wall!

14, Ming Sao easy to hide, secret and difficult to prevent.

15, I cursed you for a lifetime to buy instant noodles without spices.

16, do not eat enough to lose weight.

17. All problems are ultimately time issues, and all the troubles are actually troubles.

18. When I was young, I thought that when I grew up, I could save the whole world. When I grew up, I realized that the whole world could not save me.

19. I thought that I was very decadent. Today I realized that I was scrapped early.

20, during the onset of intermittent depression, people do not disturb, acquaintances do not find.

21, there is no medical insurance and life insurance, do not see the courage after dark...

22. When a man does not make money, the woman is in a hurry, and the woman regrets when the man makes money.

23, saying that money is sin, are fishing; saying that beauty is a disaster, want to; say that the heights are not cold, are climbing; said that tobacco and alcohol hurt the body, do not quit; say that heaven is the best, do not go!

24, crowded bus is a comprehensive sports including Sanda, yoga, judo, balance beam and other sports and fitness projects.

25, there is gold under the man's knee, but under my knee is the foot hair.

26. I am convinced that there will be a man who came to this world for my torture.

27, Journey to the West tells us: Any monsters with backgrounds are picked up, and all those who are not in the background are killed by a stick.

28, the biggest sorrow in life is that youth is not there, but acne is still there.

29, the little girls dreamed of finding a white horse, opened their eyes and found that the world is full of sorrowful autumn, after grief, can only pick a strong body from the group, such a slap Named as: Economically applicable male.

30, I am going to cry, I am going to make trouble, do not sleep for one night, take a bottle of sleeping pills in my hand, take a small rope to hang. Be ugly and fall in love, talking about the world full of love.

31. Our goal: to look at the money, to earn money.

32, the day did not drop the big responsibility for me, still bitter my mind, work my bones.

33. This is often the case, and it is too late to turn back. Even if you are willing to be a bad horse, you may not have to wait for you.

34, work hard! ! For your Audi my Dior.

35, I like you so much, you like me will die.

36, parents flicker children called education; children flickering parents called deception; mutual flicker called generation gap.

37, red beans are not long in the South, long on my face, true love!

38. The objects that are not used for marriage are all hooligans.

39. The symbol of an immature man can be sacrificed for an ideal heroic, and the symbol of a mature man can live for an ideal and despicable life.

40. Life is like the mouth of Song Zude. You never know who the next unlucky one will be.

41. I am like a fly on a glass. The future is bright, but I can't find a way out.

42. The man's brain likes the woman's heart, but the eyes like the woman's appearance.

43, hands in pockets, no one loves.

44, when the brother saw the installation of B, the brother always bowed his head. It’s not that the brother is well-bred, but the brother is looking for bricks.

45, the sun is warm, the years are quiet, you still can't come, how dare I go old?

46. ​​I am not a fortune-telling on the flyover. I can't tell you so much that you love to hear.

47. When the boss uses you, you are a talent, and when you don't need it, you will become a layman!

48. The most contradictory part of a couple is to imagine each other's future, but to remember each other's past.

49. Behind every successful man, there will be a woman who is full of nothing to do.

50, fell down and stood up, and changed to a good posture and then fell down.

51, parents flicker children called education; children flickering parents called deception; mutual flicker called generation gap.

52, originally wanted to eat a bite of sorrow, but unexpectedly eat a bite into a fat.

53. There are not many ladies in the world, and they can be loaded with more.

54. God, I will not call you any more in the future. You don't love my grandson at all.

55, once with friends to look up at the stars, and then we burst into tears, he is because of lovelorn, I was because of a sprained neck.

56. In fact, you and I are all the same. Everyone is in the game. The key is to install it. It is rounded up. There is a threshold. When you put it in, you will become a legendary temper. If you don’t have it, you will be stuck. It is there. It is Carmen.

57, people do not commit me, I do not commit crimes; if people commit me, courtesy three points; people commit me again, I still have a shot; people still commit me, scribble the roots.

58. I allow you to walk into my world, but you are not allowed to walk around in my world.

59. Life is like a super girl, and the last ones are pure men.

60, summer is not good, when I was poor, I didn't even have to drink the northwest wind.

61. Zhuge Liang did not bring any soldiers before the mountain. You have to have my work experience.

62, I smiled from the horizontal knife to the sky, I went to sleep after laughing.

63, my advantage is: I am very handsome; but my shortcoming is: I am handsome is not obvious.

64. I was also a seed of infatuation, and it was raining... I drowned.

65. In addition to the temptation, this person can resist anything.

66, God, too blue! The sea is too salty! Life is too difficult! Work, too annoying! With you, have a fate! Miss you, insomnia! See you, too far!

67. When I woke up, the sky was dark.

68. Drink the medicine and hand the bottle, hang it to the rope, and jump off the building with a small handkerchief to see off.

69. Marriage is to wear a cotton coat for free. It is not convenient to move, but it will be very warm.

70. The idiot stole the wallet and was seen by the blind man. The dumb screamed and scared the scorpion. The hunch came forward and the scorpion flew up. The murderer wanted to pull him to the Public Security Bureau. Mazi said. Look at my face.

71, people can not extricate themselves, in addition to teeth and love.

72. When life turns black and humor into everything, I push the boat into a highly educated hooligan.

73, people see people love, flowers see flowers, cars see car puncture!

74. As a typical example of failure, you are really too successful.

75. When a man meets a woman, there is only a memorial day and no independence day.

76, the public to find her thousands of Baidu, suddenly look back, that person still disdain for me.

77, I am the passerby you forgot to turn around, why do you accompany you to the end of the world?

78, single is not difficult, it is difficult to deal with those who do everything possible to let you end single.

79, you are like a bitter gourd, dressed so cool, so long.

80. After reading a book for more than ten years, I think it is better to mix in kindergarten!

81, people are not smart, but also learn to be bald.

82. Hold the hand and drag the child away. I can't say it, okay, close the door and put the dog!

83, there is no fat man in the world, there are more people who are thinner, and there will be fat people!

84. He is a basin of water and pours into your rice heap. After a few years, the water becomes a mellow wine, and you become a pile of discarded rotten rice, not useless, you can also feed the pigs. .

85. Never argue with the same fool, because in the end, you will not know who is a fool.

86. I think the call is very good. Everything that is said is worthwhile.

87. I want to wake up one day and open my eyes and find myself sitting in the desks and chairs of the small classroom. The chalk head thrown by the teacher happened to hit the forehead.

88. The juvenile is not arrogant, bold and arrogant, and asks about the theme of the old age.

89. Many people say that marriage is the tomb of love, but the love that can be settled into the earth is better than the street of the corpse.

90, free to learn to Feng Shui, after the death of a good tomb can also make up for the regret of not being able to afford a good house.

91. It is said that people have only two choices, busy or busy, I think I have a third choice: busy waiting to die.

92, spring sleepy summer lacks autumn power, winter is just sleeping.

93, miss can not be self, pain can not take care of themselves, the result can not be taken, happiness can not be self-sufficient.

94. The beauty of learning lies in making people confused; the beauty of poetry lies in inciting the derailment of men and women; the beauty of women lies in stupidity without resentment; the beauty of men lies in the fact that lies are white.

95, the head is not empty, the key is not to enter the water.

96. When you have money, you will lose your family. If you have no money, worship God.

97, the next life to reincarnate as a woman, marry a man like me.

98. If anyone uses me to measure beauty, I will count it.

99, how to do egg pain? Trick or treat, continue!

100, the face of the brother is definitely not pox, it is called youth.