100 funny and ridiculous quotations

1. What makes me proud and proud is that the earth is still being trampled under my feet so far.

2, my life creed is: live like a grandson for decades, Yu Cheng grandfather died.

3. Some people have a background, and some have a back.

4, Apple's most glorious moment is kneeling on Newton's head!

5, I don't want to lose weight, I am just afraid of rebounding.

6, can not extricate themselves is love, there are radishes in other people's land.

7. Thanks to me, I am a fat man. When I am sad, I can pinch my stomach.

8. My heart is not a bus. You can sit down if you don't have a seat.

9, prices have risen too fast, so I will pay first when I eat at a restaurant.

10, play back to play, trouble, noisy you will never get.

11, put away your love, I am tired of playing fake.

12. Actually, I am not stupid, just too lazy to be smart.

13. Since leaving you, others have asked me: Do you always put your eyes in your tears and disinfect?

14, dozens of beautiful women said that I am handsome, I did not admit, they used bricks to swear at me, saying that I am hypocritical.

15. The typical sign of a single person is that the monthly traffic package has not expired, and the call package has more than half of it.

16, the problem first find the reason from their own body, not constipation will blame the earth is not gravitation.

17. I don't look at the time in the morning to see the time, but to see how long I can sleep.

18, give me a woman, I can create a nation! Reply: Give you a sow, will the price of meat fall next year?

19. Wear someone else's shoes. walk my own road. Let them say go.

20. I want to ask: We have paid the money at school. Shouldn’t the teacher listen to us?

21, as long as thin, everything is wild, if fat, nothing is white.

22, the years are not forgiving, first of all can not spare women; opportunities do not wait for people, first of all can not wait for men.

23, life is like a landlord, just a group of people, a blink of an eye is the enemy.

24. Couples who have not been separated, only the third child who does not work hard.

25, hey, the winter is the most hooligan, always like to freeze my hands and feet.

26, some people rely on strength, some people rely on eyesight, and my exam relies on rich imagination.

27. Everyone is born with originality. Sadly, many people have gradually become pirated!

28, my strengths: the courage to admit mistakes; shortcomings: resolutely not change.

29, no heart without lungs, can live a hundred years old, have a clear conscience, do not be tired.

30. In fact, it is not our fault to go to class to sleep. It is only that the earth is too attractive.

31. How many students lost to the last part of the text: memorizing the full text.

32. It is said that people with large faces cannot use touch-screen mobile phones, because they laugh and hang up the phone.

33. Teacher, I met the robber, and the job was robbed.

34. From the small country to the university, the only thing that remains unchanged is a heart that does not want to study.

35, if you can't beat you, you have already turned your face.

36. Whenever you want to take the exam, you will walk into the dormitory corridor and have a feeling of entering a mental hospital.

37. I generally don't easily evaluate others. Anyone who is evaluated by me is not a person now.

38. My wallet is like an onion. Every time I open it, it makes me burst into tears.

39. Since I deleted it, there is no need to add it back. There are not many of you, and you are a lot less.

40, I seem to really care about you, I am not happy when you are happy, you are not happy, I am the happiest.

41, loading is only an instant, shameless is eternal.

42. Escape is a person's joy. Class is the loneliness of a group of people.

43. Look at the beauty on the street. The higher the point of view is to appreciate, the lower the point is the rogue.

44. The longest love I have ever talked about is narcissism. Love yourself, no rivals.

45. Give me less face, you think you are a palette.

46. ​​Now it is chopsticks that I can't afford to put it down. It is the bed that makes me fall out.

47. Hit all the soy sauce in the world and let others be jealous.

48. Throw coins, go online on the front side, sleep on the reverse side, and set up homework when you stand up.

49. If fate grabs your neck, then you will scratch the armpits of your destiny.

50, the public to find him thousands of Baidu, suddenly look back, that person still disdain for me.

51. There is a kind of love that doesn't matter to me. There is a kind of love that is unlucky.

52, the highest state of autumn to sleep, blowing a fan covered with a quilt.

53. On today's class, sleep yesterday!

54. All problems are ultimately time issues, and all the troubles are actually troubles.

55. In my heart, it may be poetry to speak, but it will definitely become awkward in the stomach.

56. Some people have nothing to do with me; some people, I can't let go of killing me.

57, what kind of goods you are, what kind of face will be given to you, I want to make you to please you, you think.

58. You can say sorry, a young and frivolous, you have all your responsibilities.

59, others laughed me too lascivious, I laughed that others are not open.

60. Don't say that someone else's brain is sick. The premise that the brain is sick is that you must have a brain.

61, I drink only pure water, milk only pure milk, so I am very simple.

62. When I was in a bad mood, I harassed the phone in the middle of the night, woke them up, and I slept.

63, too many classes, I wanted to go to class yesterday, see the teacher, the teacher said with amazement, such a long time no see, grow so big.

64, life, turned out to be an out-of-print movie that cannot be played back.

65, don't talk to me about feelings, talk about feelings and hurting money.

66. Sometimes, indifference is not ruthless, it is just a tool to avoid being hurt.

67, I love you, it doesn't matter to you.

68. Be nice to yourself because no one treats you as the world.

69, love does not love does not matter, hate does not hate does not matter, as long as everything does not matter.

70, the sky will be black, the road will slip, and the road home may be more embarrassing than you.

71, don't come to me when you are bored, or I think it is superfluous.

72. Although the bird is small, it is playing the whole sky.

73. I always thought that the cloud is the story of the wind. The mountain is the story of water. You are my story, but I don't know if I am your story.

74, crying and saying how much he loves you, it is estimated that you do not believe.

75, there is no way to go, but also take the car directly.

76. There is a feeling that is more painful than losing love. It is called self-love.

77. If you have problems, find the reason from yourself. If you have constipation, you will blame the earth for not being gravitational.

78. If one day I become a rogue, please remember to remind me that I have also been pure.

79. In this age of abuse, a "dear" is just a "hello" at best!

80, there are always a few such friends around. When I first met, Sven, who was familiar with it, did not know that it was released from the mental hospital.

81. How dare I touch you? I am afraid that I will buy a hand sanitizer to buy myself.

82. When people are there, they think there will always be opportunities. In fact, life is a subtraction, and one side is less.

83. God gave us acne while giving us the youth!

84, the friend of Iron again burned.

85. Love that is not based on marriage is a rogue.

86. I despise so many people, how old are you?

87, you think that you will be in my heart for a long time, tell you, you think too much.

88, young is the capital, but not hard to value.

89. I like exams too much, so I basically take two exams in each class.

90. After breaking up, when you sacrificed me, when you died, it was over.

91. Before I met you, my world was black and white. After meeting you, buckwheat! It’s all black...

92, my strengths: the courage to admit mistakes; shortcomings: resolutely do not change.

93. What happened to her husband, and the goalkeeper also scored!

94, usually you are even, I have to wait until I hit you to know that I am both civil and military.

95. Don't force me, otherwise I will be great and I will be out of control.

96. Even if you have a famous flower, I will move you to me.

97. Looking back, I didn’t even have a chat.

98. The extinction of dinosaurs is because makeup creates a beautiful woman.

99, do you dare to say that you are pure? Look at your eyes and see the turbidity.

100, others laugh, I can't wear them, I don't wear them when I laugh at others.