People only know how to be strong when they are vulnerable first.

A month ago, a reader gave me a message. A girl had been with her first love for more than three years. When she was together, the boy had left her and fell in love with other girls. Later she returned to her and now she dropped him again. Telling him that there is someone in his heart, she said that she is suffering now. She asked me, "I want to know how to get better soon." I thought a lot of ways in my mind, but later told her not to be stubborn, painful, painful, and to continue my life."

Maybe she will think that this answer is somewhat perfunctory, but in fact this is the fastest way to recover.

A friend sent me a message a few days ago. One of his haircuts just lost his father and asked me how to comfort me. I gave him back to "Let him cry happily, only when he walked through this painful The days are really good."

Many times, people will only know how to be strong if they are vulnerable first.

From writing articles on the Internet, I have received many friends' messages and private letters, the setbacks of growth, the pain of love, the confusion of the future, the pain of life, and I want to try my best to help everyone with the message. Recalling the growth of myself and my friends around the world, if I would like to come to each of the different ways of salvation two years ago, but now, I will only say one thing, you will be better, the rest, all Give it time.

Dear friends, every one who has been hurt, wants to forget the friends who want to be strong and strong immediately, every friend who has been deeply painful, stubborn and wants to break free immediately, every friend who always wants to be stubborn.

I know that deep pain, you will continue to tell yourself to be strong, to resurrect the blood in the same place, to forget all the past, you can't wait to wake up and smile from the new, full of energy. But what I want to tell you is that sometimes, it is a strong paranoid, it is stubborn and stubborn. You will hurt yourself again because you are too eager to recover.

A friend who has talked about three or three years of love, can be ruthlessly abandoned every time. For a while she was fragile and lost her soul every day. Later, in order to cover her own vulnerability and show her strength, she began to change her boyfriend to start a new relationship. She felt that she could only keep herself living in a new life. Forget the memories of the past, the only way to get rid of those pains as soon as possible.

Later, she told me that the time was the most painful. Her pretend disguise had been forgotten, but it was actually deepening memories and remorse, hurting others’ feelings, and also spreading salt on her scars. It is the torture of the self. Later, she suddenly let go, and memories recalled that if she couldn’t go, she wouldn’t let it go. Every day she worked hard, cared about family and friends, and let her go naturally. She put down all the remorse and incomprehension in the past. Now she is married and she is very happy. I can't see people who have had these experiences at all.

Sometimes, the more people want to be stubborn, the more pain they will get into the deeper vortex, the more they want to forget, the more memories will come. The more you want to spend it, the more you will endure the pain.

Just like being trapped in a quagmire, the more you struggle to get rid of it, the more you will fall into deeper mud, and finally you will not be able to extricate yourself.

A good friend, when the college entrance examination, the English machine card was wrongly tested, instinctively easy to enter the key universities, but had to go back to school to reread for a year, self-blame and remorse. At first he spent every night in the darkness of repentance. Every day he was thinking about how to get out of the shadow of remorse as soon as possible. He could only fall asleep after watching an inspirational movie at night, but he was getting more and more painful, and his regrets and self-blame increased. .

The more you want to get rid of, the more you inadvertently enlarge the pain, the more you want to hurry up and the more you are in the subconscious, telling yourself how frustrating it is to be relieved. Later, because almost all the inspirational movies have been seen, he no longer stays up late to watch movies, and goes to bed every night, but afterwards, he is more and more relieved without inspirational movies and self-motivation. , more and more active.

Self-reliance, sometimes only makes a person's road in front of it narrower and narrower, as if they encounter a ghost wall, they will not be able to get out of their own siege until they lock themselves up.

Recalling the experiences of my childhood and growth, those sufferings that have been painful for a few years every night, can later be said with an understatement, when one finds that the things that have made you the most sad can finally come one day. When I laughed and said it, I really understood the meaning of growth. No more blaming, just thanks, because they are all treasures that are harvested on their own path of growth.

Looking back now, in those days when I was in deep pain, I was always trying to get rid of the vortex of fate and pain as soon as possible. But the result was deeper and deeper, obviously fighting, but actually weakening my energy. The more you want to be stubborn, the more painful you are around you.

A psychiatrist who had been in a mild depression for a year told me that everyone has an unbearable pain at every age, not because of your weakness, not because you are not strong enough, just because you are at that age. segment. For the frustrations and pains of the time, what you have to learn is to accept and face it calmly, to admit your vulnerability and accept your own dissatisfaction. You must open up and accommodate them and tell yourself that they are all part of your life.

The positive psychology is not to fight against the negative. In many cases, the more resistant it is, the more stubborn it is. The more it is rejected, the more violent it is. The more you want to be reluctant, the more you will kill you. Just as we are insomnia, the more we force ourselves to fall asleep, the more we can't sleep. Accepting negative, accepting disappointment, accepting anxiety and anxiety, because they are all inevitable parts of life. When one learns to accept it openly, it will soon be relieved and relieved.

Later, when I encounter any setbacks that I can't resist, I will tell myself that I want to cry and cry, I want to be drunk and drunk, you don't have to force yourself to be strong. The result is that I have recovered faster than before, calm and calm, without any insistence, it is really good.

A lot of questions, I couldn't find the answer at the time. But after a while, the answer will naturally appear. Time can solve many problems. Nothing can't be solved by time. Some problems, since I don't know the answer at the time, I don't have to pursue it. After all, there will be an answer that comes to your mind. An answer that needs to appear in advance, but the human obsession will only increase your pain and confusion.

Some scars are destined to take time to heal, and you want to fix them right away, but actually uncover the scars and deepen the wounds. Just like when we were young, we smashed a lot of scars and left a lot of scars. At that time, because of curiosity and naughty, we often touched the scarred wounds. I was so annoyed why I didn’t feel good, but the more I touched it, the slower the recovery. Every time parents always warn not to touch the wound, leave it alone, they will be better, and then they will be unknowingly better.

No matter how deep the pain is in the human wound, one day it will repair itself. And people's emotions, love, jealousy, hate, repentance, in fact, also have a time limit, suffering for a person, suffering to a certain extent, naturally will wake up and no longer be his years. Missing a person, when you miss a certain degree, but in exchange for long-term failure, you will also say goodbye. As long as you have passed that period of time, everything will return to normal. After that period, everything will turn into a year of water. No matter how deep the pain, a certain degree of pain will also spread out and see the sun. What you need to do is just to spend the time quietly.

Everyone will experience some pains that are unprepared and helpless. God has arranged these tribulations and setbacks for us not to test whether we can laugh and resurrect in the same place. Too many experiences can not be calmed down. These hardship arrangements actually let you learn to suffer the pain, learn to grow up in a difficult situation, learn to move forward in the headwind, and all he needs you to do is to walk over, not to lose his helmet and not to smile. Step by step safely.

I know that you always want to be stronger and stronger, but the pain in your life is continuous. Sometimes you will double your pain and be cruel to yourself. One day you will be overwhelmed and fall to the ground. Those who are stronger in their hearts will also have a moment when they are vulnerable, and those who are strong will have a fragile time.

Dear friends, no one in this world can be strong enough to be resurrected in the same place. Don’t tell yourself that you want to be strong. Don’t let yourself go to the paranoid reluctance. In many cases, people will only be vulnerable once and then they will understand. How strong it is.

When you grow up, you must learn to accept your own fragility and discomfort, you will cry, you will be disappointed, allow yourself to be weak, allow yourself to be overwhelmed, let go of the weak self, let go of that momentary self, give yourself some time, Give yourself some time limit, and you will unwittingly get the quietest and most natural toughness in your life.

Do not dodge, do not escape, do not exclude, do not have to reluctantly. Only when I have endured the pain, I will understand the value of life. Only after I have experienced parting will I understand how difficult it is to get together. Only when I cry, I will laugh in the future. Only when I experience pain will I understand the meaning of growth. After that fragile time, you will see your bright self in the future. When you experience this quietly, you will find that every scar that has been hurt has become the strongest place in the body.

Every sensible thing is calm, very naive, and every warm and indifferent now has a sad and uneasy past. A lot of grievances can’t be said, no need to say. You thought that there were some things, not a knot, and the uncovering was a blockbuster. But after many years later you unveiled it, you may find that a flower has already been opened there. Those places that once made you hurt will surely become your strongest place. Those things that have made you the most sad one day, you will laugh and say it. The meaning of growth is actually to tell you that all the hurdles that you think will not pass will eventually pass, and all the wounds that you think will not be good will eventually get better.

The pain is painful, the bitterness is bitter, let it hurt, let it suffer, and how can you endure? One day, you will unconsciously find that all the wounds are slowly healing, and all the pains are past.

Dear friend, you don't have to be stubborn, time will definitely heal you.

We are all the same, experiencing growth that no one else can replace. Some of the pain can only be silent, but one day, I will understand the meaning of all these things, and I will smile and appreciate the pain and hurt. Others have not experienced your bitterness and pain, and you will not be able to harvest your happiness and happiness. You only need to go to Enron's tolerance and patience, and you will end up harvesting your own beauty.

Later, I often felt that people do not belong to animals, and people's lives are more like seasons. Spring, summer, autumn and winter, the cold winter will always come suddenly, people can't catch up, but spring will certainly arrive as scheduled. Do you understand that the warm spring and the windy green trees and the spring of the birds and flowers and the swallow dance will surely come.

Go calmly to withstand the cold winter, go quietly and wait for the warm spring.