High school students are in love, what should I do?

High school students are in love, what should I do?

High school, in this most intense and intense moment, but in love. This really makes teachers and parents worry, even they are caught in the confusion and self-blame of "How can I do this?" In fact, you don't have to be so nervous, relax, you will find out what kind of psychological needs behind love. If you understand your needs, you may be able to face it calmly.

Youth Hotline Editor:

Hello there! I feel very distressed in the life of the third year of high school. I don’t know who to say to me. By the end of the weekend, the heavy mood finally has a chance to be released.

I am a very introverted boy. When I was a sophomore, I fell in love with a girl. Since then, I have become less vocal. I don't know how to face this girl who is as introverted as me. I always dare not talk more in front of her. I always feel that she is always paying attention to my every move, so I feel uncomfortable as long as she is in the occasion.

Although I once expressed my goodwill to her, but did not wait for her to answer, I said that there is no other meaning, just feel uncomfortable in my heart. In fact, I really want to be with her. In the first year of her senior year, she was sitting behind me. I only borrowed something from her occasionally, but that's it. I have to spur great courage.

I didn't dare to talk to her until a new classmate moved behind her, because the boys behind her were very good to her, probably liked her! So whenever he talks to her, I am always very upset. I can only pretend that I don't care at all, but my heart is very painful.

can you help me?

Sad boy

Youth Hotline Editor:

I have been very depressed since this time. I like to go to a girl for a long time, we are friends, still in the same class.

When I was in the class, I always liked to look at her seat from time to time. When I saw her laughing at me, I seemed to be the happiest person in the world. I didn't tell her directly. First, I was afraid that I would lose her. Second, we will take the joint test in June. I am afraid that I will delay her study. If she can't test it because of me, I will not forgive myself in my life. of.

I know that this should not be the case in this critical period, but it is really uncomfortable to be bored in my heart. Our study is very intense and hard. I only take a rest for half a day. I don't ask for anything else. I just hope that she can accompany me out. I don't study very well. Sometimes when I learn to be strong, I feel that success is in front of me. Sometimes I don't want to learn when I learn to learn. I feel that my future is awkward. I really hope that someone can remind me to encourage me.

I have read an article about two boys and girls who like each other, caring, caring, encouraging, and getting into college. I am really touched! She is a reasonable, kind-hearted girl, I wonder if she and she can be like the boys and girls in the article.

I can't be depressed anymore. I don't want to give up the future, but I don't want to miss her. After all, maybe everyone has only one true love in life, can you help me?

Ice

Two high school boys:

Hello! Many people think that high school love is a luxury and a risky thing. However, from the perspective of “existence is reasonable”, the love of the third year also has some special reasons for its occurrence.

Feelings of the opposite sex are the normal psychological development process of adolescent students, and also the practice and attempt to obtain healthy emotions and independent personality in the student stage. High school students have a love phenomenon. As long as the object of attachment and love is normal, it should be regarded as normal. It is only because of this special stage that love is not necessarily appropriate. Only by first recognizing the physiological and psychological causes of their emotions can they be treated correctly.

In addition, the self-evident pressure makes them have little time and opportunity to relax. Some students joked that "not in love under pressure, just metamorphosis in stress." High school students have both inner vision and real sorrow. When they are exhausted, they can talk and share with people in the same situation, which will give them a kind of comfort and comfort. As the letter said, "Our learning is very intense and hard. I only take a rest for half a day. I don't ask for anything else. I just hope she can accompany me out."

The age of the third year of high school students is also the time when self-awareness begins to build. Sometimes they are troubled by whether they are valuable and lovely people. Appreciation of a peer, especially the opposite sex, will make them realize their value, which will lead to their own recognition and affection for each other. In the third year of high school, this kind of need is especially strong. We can see that among the third year students, students with good grades and poor grades are the most likely to have a relationship. The former is paid more attention because of good learning; while the latter needs to establish its own sense of value due to poor performance, and love is satisfying the need of such self-esteem.

The reversal of puberty will also manifest itself under the weight of the third year. In the third year of love, it is obvious that parents and teachers are the most objectionable and do everything they can to resist. For this reason, the desire for independence is to hope to get rid of adult control with self-support and self-control. Love becomes the most powerful "weapon".

I think there is another factor that is the separation anxiety of the third year. Going to college may make students who have been together for many years rush to different cities, take their own path, whether they can meet again, whether there is still a chance to confess, this is also a troublesome problem.

In short, the reason why the third year of love is concerned is because of the sensitivity of the "high school" and the words of many social expectations. In addition to understanding the reasons for the third year of love, how should we face it?

Say to parents: Do not equate reasonable interactions between heterosexuals into love

Under the baton of the joint entrance exam, the hardships and pressures of Chinese parents and teachers are sometimes no less than students. However, motivation does not represent an effect, and sometimes it is because of the ambition to create some bias. One of the misunderstandings is to equate heterosexual interaction with love.

From the perspective of interpersonal communication, if a student has not experienced any heterosexual interaction in high school, it is not surprising that he does not know how to get along with the opposite sex in his later life. It is difficult to establish a good emotional attachment relationship. This has caused many parents to worry about their "early love" when they are in middle school, and they worry that they can't find a partner after they grow up. The reason is that in the hearts of some teachers and parents, the reasonable communication and love between the opposite sex are drawn equal.

There are also social scholars who change "early love" to "early practice". It also refers to interpersonal communication. Especially heterosexual interactions are very helpful for one's life and study. Delaying the practice of interaction will affect their future communication skills. . Therefore, what we have seen is that there are a lot of friends who were originally just like each other. Instead, because of the intervention of teachers and parents, the original feelings of good fortune have been shaped, so that two people have become comrades of the same trench. Feelings, this is the "Romeo and Juliet effect" in psychology.

Of course, the fundamental cause of concern for teachers and parents is that they fear that love will affect their children's learning and that they do not trust their third-year children to have self-management skills. The emotional problems of high school students are one of the subjects of normal development in the healthy development of high school students. High school students may have emotional attachments and love emotions. In the process, they learn how to love themselves, how to love each other, and learn to be responsible for themselves and for each other.

Therefore, if love has already happened, there is no need to condemn whether they are irrational, because they are more important than anyone else. At this time, parents and teachers can minimize and reduce the impact of love on children's learning, and even find ways to make love become the driving force for learning! An important manifestation of parents' love for their children is trust, which makes them aware of their responsibilities. If you stop it, you may arouse their rebellion. Sometimes they need to prove that they are powerful through rebellion. Of course, on the basis of trust, we must also negotiate some rules and boundaries. After all, they may not be mature enough and are susceptible to emotions. Parents can talk to them in combination with their own experiences. When they look at the same angle, parents will feel the inner struggles of their children. They also need help and guidance.

A girl once grateful to her mother because she was in love during her senior year. The mother not only did not reprimand her daughter, but expressed her appreciation for the boy. Later, in a peaceful atmosphere, the parents of the two children reached an agreement with the child: agree with the two Communication, but only if it does not affect learning, and also agree on the time and place of interaction. In this way, the girls spent the most critical and difficult third year in the pleasure, and entered the campus of the ideal university. Although they didn't fall in love after they went to college, they became good friends. However, the girl is deeply grateful to her mother for her understanding and respect, and she is even more grateful to her mother for her sincere feelings and friendship.

To the students: not only consider emotional responsibility but also consider the development responsibility of both parties

The pressure of high school and the ignorance of youth made some students discover that love can make them enjoy a special kind of relaxation and autonomy under the high pressure of the third year. But some people say that it is a luxury to talk about love in high school, because there are not many opportunities for you to recover after losing your precious time.

For high school students, what needs to be considered is whether it is necessary to develop heterosexual interactions into love during this period? Before you really establish a relationship, ask yourself if you are mature enough? Can you face the emotional fluctuations that come with it? Is it possible to adjust yourself to re-enter learning when feeling hurts?

If your answer is yes, you should also consider the other party. Not only must we consider the emotional responsibility of the other party, but also consider the responsibility for the development of the other party, and we should also make rational planning for the future development of the two. As the boy in the second letter said, "I don't want to give up the future, but I don't want to miss her." This may be the first time that many people have faced conflicts of career and love. I think that a mature student can also achieve his own autonomy and intimacy in a proper way and with the least difficulty. At the same time, it is very important to win the trust of parents and teachers. If you really want to fall in love, try to promote each other's learning, let parents and teachers put down their concerns!

The boy in the first letter said, "You can only pretend that you don't care at all, but your heart is very painful." At this time, many of your inner energy has been used to suppress, so it is difficult to calm down and learn. I feel that calmly facing it can make it easier for me to express her appreciation to her, but it is not necessary to really develop this relationship now. Isn't the high school environment a good test opportunity? If your feelings are worth cherishing, then you will have the opportunity to get it after the third year of high school.

I have a pair of friends who are about to get married. They have a good impression on each other in the first year of high school, but no one has broken this layer of paper, but they work together for the same goal, and they are struggling to learn, for fear that their achievements will be dropped by the other side. And reported the university in the same city. Later, both of them were admitted to key universities. In the sophomore year, they fell in love. Since then, their feelings have also experienced a lot of wind and rain, but it is the boy's persistent persistence, persistence and the tacit understanding between the two from high school that they finally walked together.

There is still much to think about about the love of the third year. I am going to take the exam soon, and I wish the students of the third year of high school, and hope that teachers and parents can give them more room for trust and growth.