Whatever you reject, what you want to learn

Rule 1: Look at the inside from the outside and see yourself from others. Through others, you can know your true self.

What you see from others is actually yourself.

Our opinions on others depend mainly on what makes us see what we are, not how we see them.

All your relationships are mirrors through which you can know your true self.

In the process of discovering each other, you are unconsciously discovering yourself. To understand his feelings and thoughts, you also know yourself better, you become each other's mirrors.

If you feel that your partner has lost your enthusiasm for you, it may be because you also lose enthusiasm for him; just like a marriage expert said: "If our marriage becomes boring, it may be because I feel bored, or worse, me. This person is very boring."

In fact, those who hate you are helping you. He helps you understand yourself and makes you discover your dark side. This is why the more intimate we are with a person, the more likely it is to be disgusted, because he lets you see your true face.

The place where others are most irritated is usually the place where you can't stand it.

Rule 2: What kind of person are you, you will think of what others are like. You can't tolerate the part of others, you can't tolerate your own parts.

A person with bad moral character will doubt the moral character of others; a person who is not loyal to others will also doubt the loyalty of others; a person who is not upright and is not serious will take any action of others. I want to be jealous, because he is such a person. A person who has a different opinion about other women, naturally, will also suspect his own woman. Old people who encounter hateful things are often annoying people. People who like to pick people are actually the most troubled ones. People who like to make irresponsible remarks are actually the most incompetent.

If you love to lose your temper, you will think that others often make you angry, and everything can become a reason for your anger. It's not that everything is wrong, but that you will project, and you will project what is hidden inside you. You will condemn everyone and everything, because you have too much anger, so even a little thing can ignite anger.

Similarly, what others say to you also reflects who they are and their inner world. They criticize you most because they are dissatisfied with themselves, and even they themselves are the kind of people they criticize.

As you move toward goodness, you will stop criticizing others and rebounding from criticism of others.

If you throw a stone on a tree full of apples, it will only be an apple, no matter who loses it. A truly good person, no matter how you treat him, what he reveals will only be peace and goodness, because he is such a person.

Rule 3: What is inside you, what kind of people will be attracted. What you reject from the outside, what you reject inside.

In general, those who are happy with us reflect the inner self-face that we like and accept; and those who we don't like also reflect that we are unhappy and do not accept the inner self.

To teach each other to live in harmony, it is better to teach them to make their inner harmony, so that the two sides will naturally be harmonious; to teach them how to enhance each other's feelings, it is better to teach them to promote self-growth, then the relationship will naturally grow.

When someone asks me how to improve my relationship, I will always tell them: "First of all, you have to go deep inside. Unless your inner problem is solved first, you will not be able to improve, but will create more problems."

A person with control desires, unless the inner emptiness is filled, it is impossible to let go of others, and it is difficult to liberate themselves; a person full of resentment, unless the inner resentment is relieved, it is impossible to stop resentment; Awkward people can't stop swearing unless they can find confidence inside and no longer compare with others.

Everyone's external behavior is the presentation of inner thoughts. If you can't trust yourself, you can hardly trust others; if you can't respect yourself, it's hard to respect others; if you can't be sure of yourself, it's hard to be sure of others; if you can't illuminate yourself, you can't illuminate others.

When partners don't have love and hurt each other, I won't tell them how to try to love each other, but ask them to learn to love themselves first, because hurting the other person actually hurts themselves.

Your relationship with everyone reflects your relationship with yourself. If you continue to conflict with yourself, then you will continue to conflict with others; if you are struggling with your own inner feelings, then you will also emotionally struggle with others. The problems we encounter in our feelings are our inner problems.

The relationships we attract reflect the qualities we have and the inner self that presents us. Therefore, people who have problems with the relationship should not only review your relationship with others, but also reflect on your relationship with yourself. Here are some questions you can self-examine:

"I feel embarrassed when I look at the ones you reflect."

"Which self did you reflect?"

The problem of "externality" that plagues us is the part of our "inner" that cannot be integrated. If you want to improve everything outside, you must start from the inner of change.

Rule 4: You bind others and you are bound. The more you hate, the more you are bound, the more free you are, the more free you are.

When you control someone, you are also controlled; if you bind someone, others will tie you. You think about it, when you control others, you are not allowed to do this, then if they don't do what you say? What will you do? You will be upset, right? Your emotions are determined by others. Do you think they are under your control? No, in fact, you are under control.

An eye for an eye, the result is that everyone is jealous

If you keep licking old wounds in your memory, you are giving the people who originally caused the pain and the power to hurt you again and again. That is why I said that when you hate others, you say that you also hate yourself to some extent.

How to completely destroy the enemy? Turn the enemy into your friend!

You will find that those who are most difficult to forgive are the ones you need to forgive most; the ones who are most difficult to let go are the ones you need most to let go.

Rule 5: If you are excluded, it is the subject you must learn. If you appreciate it, it can turn into love.

Our main interpersonal relationships constantly reflect what the subject of learning is.

Whether it's your boss, colleague, deployment, friend, lover, spouse, or child, the personality, thoughts, and behaviors that you don't like are often the part you need to learn. They will reveal your shadows and repeat the words and deeds you dislike to let you learn.

When someone points out your mistake, you are very angry with that person, but is this his fault? No, he just helps you take out the "shadow of enzymes" and bask in the sun.

You won't be angry because someone else says you want to steal a whale shark in the aquarium, because that's something you don't even want to do. However, if your wife says that you are on a business trip and want to take the opportunity to "sneak out", you may argue and even get angry. why? Because this kind of thing can happen, or even has happened. That's right, in general, the closer you are to the factual accusation, the more likely you are to defend and get angry.

So, when others blame you in the future, don't attack or counterattack immediately, as you did before, you have to start asking yourself, because what they say is likely to be true. If it is not true, why are you so "truthful", right?

The reason why they are arranged around you is "there is a reason." Therefore, don't say that you don't like to reject or try to escape from them, because they are all "the godsend of goodness." You should take advantage of this opportunity to change yourself.

It’s no big deal to love someone who likes you.

To love someone who loves you, you can't get any scores.

To love someone you don't like, you will learn something in life.

To love someone who blames you for no reason, you have learned the art of life.

——Indian master Guruji

what is love? Love is to appreciate what you don't like and don't love. If there are too many people in your life that you hate or don't love, it's because you have been repelling, so they will appear again and again, you must learn the art of life - turn them into love.