Want to change the status quo, you must force yourself

H is my college classmate. I know him in a class presentation in the middle of the period. The general education course is boring, and many students are only trying to get 2 credits and simply read the materials to cope with the exam. H is shown in the order of the back, but his appearance makes me refreshed. What shocked me was not the cool and dazzling PPT, but his creative ideas and arguments from the sidelines. It can be seen that H spent a lot of time under the class.

At that time, my study and life were a mess: I slept in the morning at 10 o'clock, hurriedly called for take-out at noon, skipped classes in the afternoon, and played dota online at night and night, until I was tired of going to the classroom to wait for the teacher. The key points... This is not a case. The decadent atmosphere pervades the entire dormitory. In fact, everyone is confused. Without the embarrassment of teachers and parents, who defines university life? Who knows what is the meaning, can directly influence the success or failure of future life? Who knows the complex and tempting society, which one is the right path to the ideal? For a long time, I believe that college life should be like this.

The appearance of H made me doubt about my own understanding. I began to pay attention to H's life. Every morning, he was unable to get up at 6:30, and after he had recited an hour of English in the woods, he took classes or soaked the library on time. H will rest for half an hour at noon. If there is no class in the afternoon, H always habitually goes to play volleyball. After half a year, he has been able to compete with the students of the sports department.

H scores are among the best in every exam. But he is by no means a "good student" in the traditional sense. He often argues with the teacher because of different opinions, and he has no reason to vent. By the way, H’s “One Station Can’t Be Less” campaign has also become “Top Ten Campus” – at the end of each month, H will lead the community’s classmates to repair, update, and clean old computers collected from all sides. The surrounding migrant children's school.

What surprised me even more is that H made economic independence when he went to college. In addition to the scholarships he gets every year, he will work part-time on Tuesday and Thursday nights. He also took a tour guide card. When we were blowing air conditioners at home during the summer and winter vacations, he had led a tour group from abroad to travel around the country.

H's life, study, and work, everything is in order, full and not messy. When we were still drunk and dreaming of death, he had already turned his life into poetry. I once asked him that the 365-day "schedule" is full, tired?

"Not tired at all, I really enjoy this kind of life." H's answer is obviously beyond my expectations. It turned out that when I first went to college, H was like everyone, facing the confusion in the future, he was entangled to see a psychiatrist. However, he finally passed the sly child. "Now, every day, I dare not slack off and try to be a better self." At that moment, I suddenly realized that the "male god" also had a little-known lost time. .

Yes, whose youth is not confused? College students in their 20s, like a wild horse stalking in the innocent wilderness, who knows which direction leads to the rich grassland, and which direction leads to the muddy swamp? However, when we are shackled because of confusion, some people have already fluttered high; when we are confused because of confusion, some people have been thriving in business; when we are confused at the starting line, some people have already accumulated In a thousand miles, victory is in sight.

I remember two years ago, the room downstairs rented a girl, the neighborhood relationship was like a duck: she liked to share her dessert, egg tarts, muffins, tiramisu in the line; At that time, the girl will go to the opposite neighbor's children to help homework, as a thank you, the neighbors will also leave her to eat; the first floor lived with the old couple, there are many inconveniences in life, naturally, the girl's help, online shopping, mobile phone Chat, hospital registration, these life trivia she took the initiative to undertake.

At that time, I was just graduating. The huge pressure of life in Beijing often made me sleepless all night. "Everyone is confused, you are not the only one." The girl tried to comfort me. It turned out that she was also helpless when she first came to Beijing. She often did not know how to solve the problem when she ate the meal. Every time she paid her salary, she had to carefully calculate the amount, and had to pay enough to repay the amount of the card. The girl has to fight with the black intermediary, and the house has to think about where to move next month.

The work is even more troublesome for the girl. She works in an old state-owned enterprise, and her unit benefits are extremely poor, but she can be divided into marginal departments. As a young man, this girl's work is filled with all kinds of chicken and dog chores, and the tea is poured, the courier is delivered, the materials are finished, and the computer is updated. The uncle Obasan in the office is also very difficult to get along with. The topic they are always keen on is nothing more than the price reduction of the egg market in the vegetable market. The segment of WeChat forward says that pomegranate can prevent cancer, and the aunt of the downstairs department divorces last month. "..." I was particularly confused during that time. I don't know how to cook my future work and life. I don't dare to imagine what I would be like 10 years later and 20 years later. Every time I mention this, the girl is always very sad.

"If you want to change the status quo, you must force yourself!" Suddenly, the girl's eyes sparkled. The girl began to force herself to work harder and better, often volunteering to work overtime and wearing stars. But no matter how late she goes home, she has to read an hour's book. She even reported to the class, used the weekend time to charge to learn French and CFA, and took the certificate in two years. The girl's life is also gradually rich and colorful, she asked herself to learn a new dish every week and practice yoga twice. She forced herself to open her heart and took the initiative to know each neighbor. "If you can't even walk out of your home, how can you see the world?" After half a year, the talent of the girl was appreciated by the leaders and transferred to the sales post, and the salary doubled. By the end of the year, I had received a bonus of 100,000 yuan.

After all, the frog is always boiled by warm water, isn't it? Apparently, the girl jumped out before being "cooked". Psychology has a "comfort zone" theory. Once people break the psychological model that they are already familiar with and adapt to, they will feel uneasy, anxious, and even fear. This "comfort zone" is the "warm water" of boiled frogs. If you want to get out of the confusion, you will inevitably hurt your psychological defense, force yourself to jump out in time, in order to avoid the fate of this. Once your comfort zone is broken, its scope will expand again, and things that you thought were impossible would be easy.

Confusion is not terrible. The terrible thing is that there is no courage to face confusion. I don’t know how to be ashamed when I am in the future, I am afraid of being wrong, I am afraid of being excluded, and I am blindly gregarious and become a self-deprecating person. In the face of confusion, only by forcing yourself can you get out of the dilemma and see the future.

Believe me, confusion is not a safe haven for your whole life, clench your teeth and force yourself to do it. Even if you are extremely weak, you must face up to difficulties; even if you are twisted and twisted, you must take a big step; even if your heart is awkward, you must harden your scalp. Hold on; even if you want to be jealous, you must never give up. When you persist, you will be pleasantly surprised to find that everything you pay is worthwhile. Think about the time when you were ignorant of learning and toddlers. If you didn’t force yourself to open your mouth and take a step, how could you know that the world is colorful?