I am forty years old this year.

I am forty years old this year.

I am forty years old this year, and I know that I have reached the age of no doubt.

The childhood thoughts are very naive, always want to break the shackles of the school, eager to get involved in society. This of course is nothing but the frivolity that is unique in that period. From small to large, the word dream has always been mentioned numerous times. What is your dream? At that time, I thought about traveling around the world and wanted to complete this great project within 80 days. For it, I tried to study geography and English. After reading "The Trailer Without Borders", he has unswervingly strengthened his beliefs and indulged in all the beautiful customs of the world.

After decades, the childhood dreams are lingering in my mind. Life is like a ruthless knife, and the dream is more and more blunt, so that it is no longer so arrogant, it is buried in the thick smoke of my heart. In the face of reality, dreams are just two pale words; in the face of time, I can only live with the plainness of life. Dreams and reality always run counter to each other. I envy those who are obsessed with their ideals. Dreaming in their lives will always be a highlight.

Every day after work, I will walk the road that I used to go to the gate of my alma mater, watching a group of high school students go out, and the children in groups are laughing and complaining. In the sunset, the shadow of the dusk hit their side, really beautiful. The small willow branches on both sides of the alma mater's ramp are luxuriant and have become thick under the urging of the years. I found that youth is far away from me. The cloud in the west is like a cotton wool with a few blushes. I look at the watch subconsciously. It’s almost six o'clock. I can't help but step up and go home.

When people are in middle age, there are old and small, and I seem to be a bird trapped in a cage. The days are long, and the dream of flying to 90,000 miles of green sky is also annihilated by the tedium of rice, oil, salt and vinegar.

After dinner, I was alone with a thin gown and took a walk with my slippers. On the evening of July, the wind was sullen, blowing people lazy, and sweetly hooking the footsteps of pedestrians. The clouds in the sky hang down like thick red cotton, making the air filled with suffocating heat. I couldn't help but walk across the river, and the occasional river wind passed through the slippers and sent a cool message. Under the backdrop of the afterglow, the river is golden, like the Monet's "Water Lily". Thirty years ago, I threw stones at the river; twenty years ago, I sang poems by the river; ten years ago, I accompanied my children on the beach to build castles on the beach. He said that it was his dream of the future. Nowadays, I can only sit here alone, and my heart is silent that he is not a blind dreamer like me.

I walked a few steps and there was a chair. I sat down and touched the cold wood with my fingers. I still remember the era of fantasy. In this wooden chair in the sunset, there will always be a pair of lovers, and the sunset glows on their faces, happy and beautiful. Perhaps the touch is now a dream of anti-time. It is also a good thing to do an unrealistic dream in this materialistic city. I am 40 years old and fell in love with this river. I will face it every day, like the three provinces like Zengzi. Thinking about my daily life, getting up, eating, going to work, getting off work, reading newspapers, sleeping, is nothing but boring. But I also think that I am going to the West in the city every day, is it just a meager salary? If this small nail is lost, will the big machine in the city stop working? Every day, I repeatedly told my children about the unchanging golden jade words. It was often a chilly heart. Whose youth is not the case? I smiled. I have to face the information of Chengshan every day, lose the record on the keyboard, and also operate the family at home. At the age of forty, I began to learn to worry about the health of my family. I began to pay close attention to the ups and downs of prices. I can't imagine the life of every day as beautiful, because there will always be unexpected accidents appearing in the trajectory of life, and busyness is always full of life. In my spare time, the habit of reading will always enrich my heart and calm the impetuous heart. "Before the age of forty, everyone is doing the addition, and after the age of forty, to do the subtraction." This profound philosophy all calms down my heart in the middle age.

Money, this is a vulgar word, I don’t know when it will break into the peaceful life of mankind. Tao Yuanming did not fold for the five-dollar, and Uncle Yu was abandoned by the "I" family because he had no money. But I am not a sage, but a living creature who has been living step by step in the world. For this dirty thing, how many people have died, and how many people have lost their statements because they have no money. I am panicked, afraid, worried, confused, but in this era of materialistic desire, I will eventually face the inescapable reality.

Looking back at youth, it is like a broken kite, drifting farther and farther. Whose youth is not a blank piece of paper, the secular red and black will portray it beautifully. Despite this, I will also vacate a place that has never been colored. It is a bright light of the soul, it is a sky of dreams. Life is still going on, but the dream will start from here. Maybe one day, I will also experience the mountain and the river, experience the coldness of the world, and carry the bag of the years, only because the walker has no boundaries.

postscript:

Write this essay to commemorate my youth, the dreams I have had, and the time I feel.

Second day: Liang Guojie