There is a "long light" in my heart.

I was happy with the sun of the day, dragging my tired body and going down the mountain. The night arrived as expected, and in a flash, the city I lived in was plunged into the black crepe. The streetlights that lined up the probes on the side of the road also began to blink. After a glimpse of two, the night sky of the entire city was lighted up in an instant. The streets and alleys of the city are full of neon flashes and brilliance. The roads of the city have become a dazzling galaxy. The galaxy is full of people and pedestrians...

A bright moon in the top of my head, my feet were broken and silver, and I walked back to my home soothingly. I habitually pressed the switch on the wall, the crystal light on the roof was indifferent, and I went to turn on the TV. The large screen didn't respond. I just remembered the notice that was posted on the entrance of the corridor: the power company repaired the line, and the entire community was cut off!

In the darkness and silence, I was bored in the room, and I was more and more restless and upset. Nothing can be done at night without lights, nothing can be done. In desperation, simply lay down on the bed, or just take advantage of this rare blackout day, relax the nerves in the week, and sleep well.

If I really should have the old saying: "I don't want to be a blessing, I want to ask for trouble." I have always been used to staying up late, and it is really miserable to sleep early in the morning. I lay in bed and turned to the opposite side, staring gazing at the night sky outside the window. In the deep night sky, the bright moon hangs high, the stars are a little bit, the elf-like stars, shining brightly, jumping around, as if telling me something. The bright moon that was picked up by the stars, like a hook like a bow, like a boat like a sail, with the evening wind, gently swaying my heartstrings. Gradually, the silent night seems to become poetic and smooth. It makes my heart sway. In the time and space of my memory, the thoughts of the wings grow and fly, and I remember some memories about the lights... ...

When I was very young, people in my hometown still didn't know that electricity was a game. At that time, Shili Baxiang was widely circulated with such a saying: "The farmland does not need cattle, the lights do not need oil; the upstairs and downstairs, the lights "Telephone", this is a sign of people's infinite yearning for a better life. The winter in the hometown mountain village seems to be very early in the morning. I remember that when the sky was dark, I climbed up the hot bandits and lay in the warm blanket. I watched the mother doing the needlework and wrapped around. The mother talked about countless stories. The mother took the light and picked up the wick. In the light of the bean, I saw that the mother was not the sole of the shoe, but the clothes. In the impression, the mother never stopped at the end of the year, and she always had a needlework job in her hand. With the faint kerosene light, I saw that the figure of the mother was projected onto the wall, and the silhouette was sometimes illusory, sometimes natural, like a shadow play on the stage in the village. The hairpin that the mother raised up was like the blooming peony in the courtyard, and it was like a lotus flower in the lotus pond. In my eyes, the mother is the best woman in the village, and the silhouette of the mother on the wall is also surprisingly beautiful. One night after another, until I had a fight with my eyelids, I couldn’t hear what my mother was talking about. I slept quietly. When I was in the middle of the night, I was sleepy and I saw that my mother was still busy with her work.

In the hometown of the wilderness, eating the rough tea at home, I went to school at the age of school, I took the mother-stitched coarse cloth bag and walked into the school. When we were in high school, we usually had 40 or 50 people in one class. At the evening self-study class, each person had to order a kerosene lamp. If the conditions in the home are better, just click on the glass cover lamp bought from the village sales point. This kind of lamp is like a hoist, with two thin ends in the middle and a knob under the lampshade, which can adjust the brightness of the light freely. Most people in the class use a kerosene lamp that has been modified from an ink bottle. This lamp uses a cotton wool to make a wick, and then puts a copper coin in the mouth of the bottle. The wick passes through the square hole in the middle of the copper coin. It became. One night, self-study, the kerosene lamp turned into a small chimney. The crowded classroom was full of smoke and swaying flowers, and a small, tender face was quickly submerged in the thick smoke. I finally heard the ringing of the class, and the ones were "black-faced" and "hullah". All their lips are "long" full of black characters. Everyone, look at me, I am jealous of you, a mischievous boy, and a girl who is "long" with a character, is a teasing, only shy that the girls are fleeing.

In the age when the materials were scarce, under this small kerosene lamp, our junior high school students, who were involved in the world, tried hard to learn and work hard to chase their dreams. The kerosene lamp ignites the fire of hope in our chests. At the same time, it is like a shining beacon, indicating the course for those of us who fight in the sea of ​​life. With the days of kerosene lamps, although we are bitter and hard, we are full and happy!

As a matter of fact, this is something that I will never forget. It is an incalculable effect on my future life choices and my willingness to travel on the literary road. That year, I was reading the fourth grade of the National Primary School. An essay written at the beginning was accidentally received by the teacher and circulated and preached. This is still a good thing, I rarely enter the teacher's eyes, all of a sudden in the school, the excitement, excitement, enough for me to sleep for more than half a month, sometimes nightmare, sometimes from the dream Smile awoke. After being excited and excited, I calmed down. I can't "open the cucumber in the spring - fresh one", but not "casserole and garlic - a hammer sale", I have to live up to expectations, so that teachers and classmates can afford it. I made up my mind that I must write every essay. In this way, I have always preferred the liberal arts, and devoted more energy to the composition. When you have time, you can read the extracurricular books. If you have time, you will write and write. My essay scores, from the national to the high school, really hanged on the teacher and classmates.

Years of long-term light-fighting night battles, all night long sleepless lights, oil for a long time, the original poor family can not afford to eat. I love my mother, I can’t bear to stop me and blame me. I just sighed helplessly, and my mother just euphemistically advised me to pay attention to my body. I understand my mother's mind, and I can't bear to waste my family's lamp money, but I don't want to stop for the writing that has already paid a lot of effort. At this time, I suddenly remembered something, and my heart immediately opened the flower!

On the Yellow River embankment on the east side of the village, there are five or six large oil tanks. These oil tanks filled with diesel oil are used for flood prevention and emergency use by the River Affairs Bureau. Once, I passed by here and inadvertently found that there was diesel oozing out of the valve at the tank. Although it was only a long time, a drop of cockroaches oozes, but it will always accumulate more time. I made up my mind and quietly took a discarded thermos bottle from my home and placed it at the valve. After three or five days, when I couldn’t wait to see it, the warm bottle of warmth has become heavy. After playing this, I went straight to the Yellow River embankment after school, and when it was winter, the bottles and cans in the house were filled with diesel. I don’t have to spend money to buy oil at home, and I dare to let go of my daring.

A few decades ago, I was young and quiet, and I quietly spread the seeds of literature into my heart. Literature has opened a window for me to perceive. It has made me a teenager in a remote country and a poor family. I have a colorful spiritual world. I can enjoy it in my spiritual home. . Literature is the brightest lamp in my heart. I am willing to give everything for it. I am afraid to be a moth that fights fire. Even if I am a boneless bone, I am afraid to be a Nirvana phoenix. Rebirth. I was huddled in the dark room all day, leaning over the crispy earthen table. I stayed in my ideal kingdom for a few hours.

Maybe it was too invested, maybe it was too tired. At that time, in the smoke of the diesel lamp, I fell asleep on the cockroaches unconsciously. When I was sleeping, I was awakened by a slap in the face, and I rushed to catch a squid. I saw the diesel lamp rolling down on the hoe, and the diesel was soaked in flames. Seeing that the fire is getting bigger and bigger, I have been scared to wake up, picking up the scorpion and picking up water from the water tank. The fire was finally extinguished, and the bandits became puddles, and the bedding was burned into a "big face". I didn't dare to face my mother. I was afraid of being reprimanded by my mother. I didn't wait until dawn, and I went to school. After the event, although the mother fell on me, I know that there is more love and love for me!

Years later, in the sparsely lit lights of the mountain village, I passed through the night before dawn, carrying the "literary lamp" and plunging into the green military camp. The green military camp, the flames of youth screaming everywhere, sparkling with brilliance. The green military camp is a fertile ground for gestating hope and a melting pot for forging souls. I am a young man from the countryside, like a seedling that has just broken ground, growing and changing in the fertile soil and in the furnace.

Naturally, I am also like a lonely night walker. In the long military camp years, I tirelessly explore and move forward. Even if I encounter difficulties and setbacks, I will never retreat or stop. I know myself. There is a bright lamp in my heart. I want the blue light to be the companion. I remember that when I joined the army, I went to the distant Lianyungang salt area to carry out production tasks. Our living, living and working environment was extremely difficult. Although the company was far away from the camp, the schedule was strictly enforced. Tens of people’s quarters, unified bedtime and uniform wake up. Every time the lights are turned off, the dark dormitory is silent. I curled up on a high shelf bed, holding a flashlight, waving the pen in one hand, and writing and writing in the tightly nested bed. Now I think of it, under the difficult conditions of that year, I can still maintain the kind of selflessness and perseverance, and my heart is still full of respect!

After several changes in the army, I changed one place after another, but no matter where I am, I always play the role of a political cadre. Writing materials, climbing plaids, and picking up the night battle "opening the night train" is naturally a routine for political cadres. Whenever the night is deep and tired, I often walk along the path of the camp and see the camp where the night is covered. Only when my window is lit, there is an inexplicable pride and satisfaction in my heart.

Throughout the night, the lights of the night accompanied me in the green military camp and spent the entire 24 years of youth. The lights kept guiding me and correcting the direction of advancement. It made my military road never miss a half step. The road under my feet went very smoothly.

I am thinking that people who are in the midst of social transformation today will encounter all kinds of temptations and difficulties. In the face of these temptations and difficulties, some people will be depressed, and their spirits will be lost. Some people will be willing to do what they want, and some people will be willing to be greedy, greedy and savage... eventually lost the direction of life. The bottom line of being a human being, in the end, can only eat the bitter fruit of his own cultivation.

There is a saying in "Life Zen Wisdom" that makes me feel a lot: "Zen" is a lamp, she leaves when your heart is bright, and she has to come when your heart is dark. The darker your heart, the brighter she is: she is the turning point that suddenly appears when you walk into the dead Hu... "Zen" realizes the truth, I think, people, the heart should ignite a "dedication to truth, ideals, beliefs" Long light, so your world will not have darkness, your life will be more exciting!