How to live better when there is no sense of direction in life

I have always felt that there are two nodes in the undergraduate four years that are the most difficult. One is the third month of each semester, because we are always close to the end of the period and find that all kinds of rhetoric that were established at the beginning of the semester have not been reached, spend less, eat more food, study six hours a day, go to the gym three times a week, and end the results. The top 10%... These were all laughter at the end of the period. The other node is the third year after enrollment. When you find that your classmates have received internships, scholarships, and opportunities to go abroad, you can't help but ask yourself: "Our grades and abilities are similar when we enter school. Why three years? After the gap is so far, this problem also makes you sleepy.

I don't know how many people are out of these anxieties. They choose to read masters and read blogs. They choose to give themselves another two to five years to make up for their unfulfilled desires and to catch up with those who have surpassed themselves.

But I am very convinced that when you are still in remorse and anxiety, you are not likely to listen to you when you talk about life ideals, general education, and social contributions. Because those are like the moon hanging high in the sky, and you are worried that you will miss the next bus after you miss a bus. Even you have begun to think about whether you can settle in the north in the future, whether you should find a girlfriend in Beijing, how many annual salary is enough to send your child to a bilingual kindergarten.

However, please don't rush to conclude that we are young people who are short-sighted by utilitarianism. Because many of my peers I know are with a strong sense of social responsibility. We are also eager to change something, and we are eager to make social innovations in the academic and business circles of the academic circles. We also aspire to makeadifference, but few people have hand-guided us to balance the conflict between ideals and reality. Few people help us to reconcile cognitive contradictions. .

When we set off, we were all heading towards ideals, but this road has resistance, temptation, anxiety, and more ambiguity. We walked and walked away. Obviously, I don't want to be a refined self-interest, but I can't walk through the strange circle of real constraints.

This illustrates one thing: ideals are important; but the embarrassment of ideals alone will never come to an end. We still have to have a torch for the road, we must have a wind-proof sunglasses, we must have a bucket of rain, and we must have a donkey. We have to find some partners outside the ideal to accompany ourselves, in order to find the direction when there is no direction, in order to persist in the ideal when the ideal has not yet landed.

For me, the first partner is courage . We often regard courage as a modifier of “dare to question” and “dare to take responsibility”, but in fact courage is harder to cultivate than questioning and taking responsibility. When my opinion is inconsistent with most people, when my career goal is an upset is a dangerous road, when the opportunity to achieve the ideal is not perfect but fleeting, we all have to rely on courage and rely on Only things outside of reason can dare to express their own opinions, and dare to do what they think is but others do not recognize, and dare to make things in an uncertain environment. Sometimes people use the phrase "I am brave, just don't want to show it" to deceive myself. But the courage is the same as the muscles. If you don't need to shrink, you have to practice repeatedly in each occasion that needs courage to be strong.

The second partner is a hobby . In a few days, my leisure time was spent like this: Let’s take a look at the new things in today’s network, then open the WeChat circle of friends from the top to the bottom, until after reading every piece worthy of comments and likes. Then I will return to Renren. I will see if there is any new content during the time when I brushed WeChat. This is not a joke. It reflects a phenomenon - we are used to relying on the social network to send the thin pleasure to quench our thirst, but the more The more you drink, the more you drink, the more thirsty you have, and the less satisfied you are. This kind of day can be two days a day, but it will be irritating in a week. We have to cultivate a hobby outside the social network to get enough strength to satisfy. It can be a game of swimming, singing, cooking, or any form. It is to accompany male and female friends, as long as it makes you happy but not indulge in it. Finding a reward mechanism that suits you is not as easy as finding an ideal, but once you find it, it will be a weapon to resist boring and emptiness throughout your life .

The third partner is a habit . In the 12 years of the Tsinghua Fine Arts Department, Ma Dongying showed her schedule in the undergraduate special scholarship defense. From 6 am to 1 pm, every hour was arranged in a tight air. Some people worry that planning too much life will not lose their freedom, but in fact the lack of planning life is less free - because you always take the time to think about what to do next hour, whether to read paper or visit Taobao You have to defeat the minds of N and lazy thoughts before you can make up your mind to do that one important thing. This process of struggle consumes willpower, and willpower is a scarce resource for anyone. Doing fixed things at a fixed time and developing some good habits can help save your willpower and use your willpower on more difficult tasks.

Before the birth of our 90s, China was born a film and television blockbuster that combines fantasy, action, humor and special effects. Its name is "Journey to the West". This is the only TV show I have seen more than three times. However, at this moment, I found that when I was young, my desire for adventure and my understanding of life when I grew up were so similar. To get the best journey, you must have the firm ambition of Tang Yan, be as brave and fearless as Wukong, and rely on eight. Rings bring laughter all the way, and like Shasha, work harder day after day.

I really like a question and answer on the subject.

The questioner said, “How did you get out of the bottom of your life?” The answer with the most votes was “take a few more steps”.

I think that cultivating courage, cultivating hobbies, and cultivating habits are just some of the steps we can take in the low valley of life and when we can still feel less directional.

Postscript: After receiving the invitation to the opening ceremony of the college, my mind has been echoing the sentence - "I have heard a lot of good ideas, and still have a bad life." We are accustomed to the inspiring words at the beginning of the opening of the school, saying something beautiful but not easy to achieve, but in fact most of the time we spend with us are some little joys and sorrows. Of course, this is probably because my vision is not broad enough, but I do feel the trivial anxiety that is everywhere in life, just like many people. But in turn, I realized that changing any place in my life that I am not satisfied with, in fact, life will be happy. It's like having nothing to do after a while, suddenly receiving a less important task, you can also gain a better sense of self from the completion of the task. What this speech wants to say is how to confront several kinds of negative emotions that are common in life: the regrets of missed opportunities because of timid hesitation, the emptiness caused by excessive dependence on single-dimensional happiness, and the frequent situation due to lack of planning in life. upset. Five minutes does not expect to be able to tell how profound the truth is. Only those who have had similar feelings can find some suggestions for improving their lives.