Rich or poor, decide the child's life!

The facts are not determined by matter, but by the mind. A friend is rich and cultivated, and both brothers and sisters do. In her childhood, everyone was very poor in material matters, but my mother always kept the beauty of life, and brought back some beautiful gadgets from time to time. She never gave her life hard, the money was hard to come by, and she had to know how to cherish it. The heavy sense of education, the children have always felt the inner flow of wealth, so later in the community by their own ability, each rich and spiritual pursuit.

I have seen several people from such families who were born in the poorest years in China. Their parents are as close to impoverished as everyone else, but even if they can only eat one meal in half a year, they are willing to let friends and children share happiness and children’s spiritual temperament. Aristocratic in general. Later, when the political environment improved, they always found the way out first. The three generations of the aristocrats refer not to the three generations of wealth to be able to cultivate the nobility, but the feeling of lack of inner feelings, often more than three generations can be transformed.

Therefore, it is not the rich and the poor, but the attitude of parents to money directly determines whether the child can be rich in the future. Many parents are reluctant to buy things for their children. When they spend money on their children, they repeatedly stress how hard money is hard to come by, cherish things and not waste, etc. The children get the feeling of lack of feeling and guilt, with money. The relationship is heavy and difficult.

Psychoanalytic psychology says that the childhood parent-child relationship is internalized into the child's internal relationship model, which determines the child's character fate. Generally speaking, parents are like children's programmers. Children's parents write to the children's subconscious minds that they are lacking and heavy. How can children flow in the future? Come to the society with a sense of lack, subconsciously direct themselves, and easy to experience everywhere. Lack and heavy.

For example, if you don't believe that you have a good job, you can always find a job that doesn't make money. Even if you make money, you can't enjoy it easily. If you spend money, you feel embarrassed, and at the same time, it is easy to over-hoard and cause more waste. For example, I was always told by my parents not to waste skin care products. After making money, I couldn’t help but buy a lot of skin care products, but I couldn’t bear to use them.

If parents often pass on: material is shameful, it is more than enough. Then the child is likely to earn income in the future, making money “not thinking ahead”, but at the same time it is difficult to fill in the material, not knowing what he needs and what is not needed, blindly hoarding. A mother observed that the toys or handmade materials bought for her daughter, if the education says to be cherished, do not break or waste, basically the toy or material is idle by the daughter, and the time is not broken or can not be found, completely It is more wasteful to violate the original intention of buying them.

There is also feedback from the mother that she bought a paint and a brush for her son and educated her son not to waste paint. As a result, the son only painted with a brush and did not use paint. Why is this? Children are very sensitive to the energy transmitted by their parents. Parents convey a sense of restraint and heaviness. Children can feel this when they encounter this thing, so they would rather not touch it.

Children don't use their minds to deceive themselves. Whether adults think that the truth is correct, the child directly feels positive or negative energy from the energy level. If parents continue to impose various negative energies on the grounds of correctness, the child will eventually become like a grown-up, live heavily suppressed, and constrained in the so-called "correct life reason."

Some people ask, is the child's desire to be 100% satisfied? The child's desire to satisfy or not satisfied depends on your ability and willingness. If you have the ability and willingness to meet, you will be satisfied with ease and happiness. If you are incapable or unwilling to meet, you will be blunt: I am not able to satisfy you for the time being, or I am reluctant to make money. Parents don't need perfection, but at least be honest. Honest parents, even if the child does not get a lot of satisfaction, will know that it is a parent's problem, not that they are not worthy, and they can still earn a rich material life through work.

Once the child wants one thing, the mother said that she refused to give the child a reason to buy it. The child asked directly: "Mom, why can't you see me happy?" The child can often see the essence simply and transparently. If parents are not aware of their inner feelings of insufficiency, they will pass it unconsciously to their children. I have never been happy when I was a child, so I have to compete with my children and let the children screw around.

Wilde said: "The best way to make children good is to make them happy. And most adults in this society are surprisingly embarrassed to make their children happy. Just because they are rude or harmonious. When we take away those things that make us happy, they will always forget to add such a sentence: This is for your good. This is really a persuasive argument, and it will finally let us agree to destroy. Himself."

Don't judge the child's desires, tell a bunch of reasons to prove that the child should not mention this request, or even deceive people to say that it is good for children. What the child needs, what is needed, may not be necessary in your eyes, but in the child's heart is what he wants. Regardless of whether you buy or not, please respect the child's desires, you can not be satisfied, but can not be self-righteous to judge.

Being rich and poor depends on the mentality of parents and has little to do with economic ability. Some parents who are worth millions of dollars go to Hong Kong to bring a bunch of thousands of children's clothes to their children, because this is what parents want. Children's favorite stickers or rocking cradles often compete with their children to create a sense of wantiness for their children. Such a child grows up, it is easy to become difficult to fill, the sports car watch is better than the purchase, it is difficult to make up for the lack of childhood. Then everyone will sigh: the parents are too fond of love, causing the child to be so extravagant and wasteful.

Love is almost the label of the Chinese people. The problem of children’s problems is to fall in love with the typical Chinese paste logic. Those who are vocal and vocal will develop the children into Li Tianyi's netizens. According to this logic, isn't the poorly-raised child going to become Ma Jiajue?

Maslow's hierarchy of needs is well known. After a human needs level is satisfied, it is naturally advanced to a higher level. This is a natural common sense. When it comes to your own children, some people have the reverie of "the more satisfying, the more insane and the more mad." And with this delusion as the theoretical basis, often with the needs of children, I can't see children happy. When you are poor and poor, you will be poor and poor for three generations. Once you have power, you will be prone to extravagance and luxury. Liu Zhijun Cheng Kejie and other famous corrupt officials recall that being born poor is one of the reasons for "thinking."

In the face of the child's needs, parents who do not compete with the children will find that the child's heart is so pure and easy to satisfy. At the Guangzhou Wuzhihong Psychological Counseling Center, visitors often find us because of their children's problems. The son of a full-time mother is 4 years old, introverted and timid, seeing people never say hello, and not willing to share snacks or toys with others. Because of the long-term restriction on eating chocolate, the son showed an addictive obsession with chocolate.

Later, my mother introspected, decided to completely open the restrictions, went to Hong Kong to buy a suitcase of chocolate. The child can't believe it. Ask the mother to give it to me? Mom confirmed that it is for you, how do you want to eat it. As a result, the child actively talks with the taxi driver all the way. When he sees the person in the elevator, he greets and actively shares it. He is simply happy like a small sparrow.

A box of chocolates will bring heavenly happiness to the children, and the energy flow will be abundant. For children, happiness is not about price tags, but is fully seen and responded by parents. A netizen said well, if I can eat 2 pieces of chocolate, I will give you 10 pieces, and the remaining 8 pieces are saying: I love you.

The long-term feeling of lack of childhood gradually solidifies into a black hole in the heart. The real black hole is the adult. The black hole in adulthood can still be healed by self-awareness. If you cast the worst imaginary to your child, by suppressing your child's desire to pass on your own lack of pain, and to be good at your child, you will destroy at least three generations.

When parents meet their children in childhood, the children will flow in the future without being obsessed, and have the freedom to experience a higher level of demand. Children who are fully satisfied with their sense of security will not dare to be safe and harmless in their marriage and marriage. Children who need to be positively answered by their parents will not only stay at the level of making money; one aspect is fully satisfied and free. The child, the natural bloom is incredible and splendid life. Most of the most outstanding artists and philosophers in history were born in wealthy homes or supported by nobles.

In the 1980s, everyone had similar material conditions, but my father gave me the feeling of "rich": I want 1 and he is willing to give 2, and will never give only 0.8. So I have a good taste for matter and know what I need and what I don't need. The pursuit of life in adulthood is to realize the truth, to expand the life experience on the earth, and to believe that money will flow in accordance with my needs, and that the richness will give me the freedom of the spiritual world. Parents, whether rich or poor, can pass on to their children: Your desires are wonderful, and you deserve everything that is best. Then the child will naturally be rich in materiality and will not be extravagant.

Please don’t educate your children to work hard, but share the joy of working and getting money. Please don’t let your child cherish the money, but tell the child that you deserve a good material life. Please don’t talk about raising a family. How hard it is, but telling your pride and satisfaction for this family. For the children's future spirit and material richness, please take back the heavy and lack of our sense of life and pass on hope and richness to the next generation.