Gray time and space

When I was very young, I only knew that 18 years old meant growing up and I could do what I wanted to do. But standing at the end of the eighteenth, those things that I want to do can no longer be realized. This kind of growth is not the kind that I thought when I was young.

Looking at the time that has passed in these years, I always feel that it is very fast. When I remember to recall it in memory, it seems that the distance in the middle should be calculated in light years. At that time, I was always looking forward to the 18-year-old. I didn’t have the goodness of the hustle and bustle. I drifted in the sea. I was fascinated by the first time. If I completed a mission, I got the freedom I wanted. Over time, all the feelings that are unrealistically eroded will change the heart, and it is so helpless. The most terrifying thing is that the occasional waves that have been picked up after the calm have destroyed all the hard work that has been collected before, and nothing can be done except for acceptance. In the end, letting him drift, the only expectation is that there is only one to find a beach as soon as possible, and I want to return to the desire of another time and space.

I have been watching lonely for a hundred years recently, and then I asked myself where I went alone. Unwilling to fall into the painful time of the original, one person wandering outside I do not know who should tell the recent life situation, the belief that the hard work is still fragile, afraid to withstand anything from the outside world, just want to be alone. However, it took only one and a half months to use the loneliness of this life. It was also at that time, starting with my 18 years old. How far has it been, how far has the original dream been put all the way, only to find that it can't be realized so much, how long it took to be afraid of how long it took, and the belief that there is a trace of life that survived was accidentally broken.

At that time, all the strengths retained after birth were used up in the world after being overturned, and a canoe that just carried me was built hard, and everything was thrown away as soon as possible. The sky is so big and blue, but there is no place for it. The sky is so low and so black that I don’t feel it.

Carefully for so long, but still throwing away so much, I have not felt so much in the decade after the note. The secret is that the storm has not destroyed anything, and my ship has nothing. It can be easily hugged. Later, I learned to just put away some very light and small things all the way and put them with me. Even if you are trapped in the sea, you can't suck, at least those things that are treasured will not go, always with me.

If every process is a baptism, then every time it is forged into the bone marrow. And if the middle and back of the 18-year-old is the most precious and inadvertently blown away by the wind and rain, it is to tell me that what I have lost is still unable to bear, so in fact, life is too small to see me. This is not the original place. I am still the original one.

The hardest thing to say is that after the last storm, I can only thank every sudden frenzy. What I finally learned was to build the environment in which I lived and find everything I wanted to put. To this end, even if the big waves come, you can prove in the wind and waves without hesitation and without feeling how much capacity of the original insignificant canoe can now be put down.

Perhaps, the present life is full of happiness and deep meaning. This is not the life after growing up as a child, but I have already accepted that this is what I want. That made me have the most tragic memories of the family and even the family for 17 years. They used to let me stop and quarrel with each other, let me have a nightmare, let me almost die in the hands of Sanbo. Let me accept from birth. Quarrels and hatred between them. After the younger generations grew up, they always had their peace. And the 18-year-old life gives me the biggest gift is a precious family. They are the same rewards as my suffering. Now, cooking a meal for my family will be something I will talk about.

I always see the way when I am in a hurry. I always wake up to the last intersection when I stumble. I always admit that I have done a lot wrong in the past. . Being young and ignorant is really the most ridiculous thing.

I also began to cherish the feelings of my friends. I remembered that the friends who had climbed the window from the third floor and took the life to meet the brothers. The pure and simple class is the buddy’s teenagers. This has always been my pride. The things will be repeated again and again, because the feelings they have flashed in my eyes are absolutely perfect. The last thing I regret is that I lost my future in order to escape the life and leave the resentment thousands of times. The environment is nostalgic for the deepest friendship. The so-called prisoner who has been looking back for three years in the matter is still precious and every step of walking, every sight, that is the perfect half-year of my most beautiful youth, and the days when I laughed with the teachers. If you really stay in your ear, you are so helpless that you can’t go back.

Some of the unintentional past will not know how to recall after losing. This is the most uncomfortable thing. People will meet new people and experience new things alone, but they have nothing to do with that person at that time. Memories are the most precious things, but they can only be added.

For that time, love was the heaviest feeling in my life, and I can't explain anything until now. This has become something that cannot be said in the future. After reading so many stories, I still feel that my feelings are the most memorable. Come back later and leave, maybe the person you love the most is the one who hates me the most. I don't know how to praise people who have said that I want to live with me for a long time. I think you should understand, don't believe that you don't love, even if those who hurt me to collapse, all come out of your mouth. You are as close to me as your most precious feelings. You can't abandon your owe to them and their feelings for you for what you want. The only thing that makes me feel at ease is the family that loves you forever. In the end, you said that you didn't deny me nothing, yeah, you are so fragile but so mature, I am so tired and so tired, how can you bear to put the heaviest burden on me? I would rather not be a happy woman in my life. I have nothing to do with me. This is the guilt and pain that I will never be able to wake up. After leaving, you indulge yourself in the world of feelings, which I have been unable to understand is my deepest pain. Every time I talk about these, I can't clearly describe them. I don't know how to understand them. All of them have passed, and you said that you should stop talking about it. I can't let go of that feeling when I let go of you. You don't care about me, I have no confidence in you, we have no contact, and I have nothing to do with you is our relationship. I don't dare to think about it anymore, but I always feel inadvertently. I can't resist it. I just twitched in my heart but didn't feel anything. I think that no matter how deep the pain in the future, I can no longer make me cry like a child. This relationship brings me the most painful but fastest growth. Maybe one day in the future I will see these wonderful times. Finally, even the meaning of this relationship is lost. May you be just a simple and ordinary life. You will also have your life, and I will have my journey as well. I also tried to use another emotion to try to paralyze myself, but later found that I could not do it, and love would always retain the most beautiful appearance in my heart. I used to love you the deepest and deepest, but I am sorry. I am sorry. I am sorry.

Recently, I have become more and more aware that life has become full and meaningful. As NG said, it is very good. You have something you like to do. I started to really work hard for the future, and I have never had such peace of mind every time I saw achievements. It is a sense that numbness does not know how tired, habitually avoiding injuries, and being happy and repeating boring every day. These should be the interpretation of life. There isn't much, just know what you can do and why you do it now. The most convincing belief today is that one day I will succeed no matter how hard the road is, even if the harvest is very small, at least, what I see is the whole life, the real life after my tragic past in my youth.

I always thought that I had experienced a lot, and walking so far in such a long distance, so many scenic spots, so profound social experience, always regard these as their own pride. Until recently, I have found real materials for the novels, read the stories of others, and the young people who have told me about their young and frivolous people who have been treated with mental illnesses talk to me about the past that they are not able to look back. Friends who express their feelings in real life with their words, they talked with them to see themselves but they enjoyed it alone in a corner, and my experience of being proud of it was not the same. There are too many unpredictable and unknowable stories in life, and no one can explore them.

Recalling that at that time, half a month of white hair grew, holding two mirrors to see the bright and pale eyes of the back of the head, such as the state of mind is generally lifeless, thoughts and moods are on the edge, it is an unbearable weight and can not escape the reality, will It makes people instantly old. I want to save and keep some of those who have been cherished, and I don’t know how to put them in. When I stop, I want to step back a little, but the scenery has completely changed. This is a rule that can never be mastered. The only thing that can be done is to let go of everything that conflicts with these rules, to accept, to get used to, and then to adapt, to become yourself that you don't understand. Then accept it, this is not a compromise, give up, just to get the life you want. This is a different journey, but like the experience of childhood to the present, I lost the treasure that I didn't understand at that time. I got the years when I yearn for it but I don't want it. It is the age limit. This is the sorrow of everyone. Every life in the rewinding of the film, the interpretation of the ones that can not go back, only the tears that they will see, more precious than anything else.

I really don’t know why I would like a simple life. A web editor heard my thoughts. I have seen the only words and words that I have left over the years. After I’ve learned, I’ve been nervous for a while, that kind of state. It is the most youthful youth. I don't care where I look at the two extremes, sunshine, sadness, simplicity, and complexity. And my country is more connotative than the later period, including words. When I asked him what you think is good now, and it gives me four words, deeply hit people's hearts.

"Bless you, walk out of your own grey space, may you lead some people out of their grey space"

This state of affairs really makes me very relaxed, for the future during the day and for the little dreams at night. I am very good and promised that many people will live a good life. I promised you too. I will do it. I gave myself seven years to complete a transformation, and then I will still have a real smile with life.