What if you can't live the life you want?

Some people say that the new year and the new words of their own are deceptive. In fact, there will be no difference. Year after year, how does it make more sense to live this life? Mr. Feng Youlan wrote: "A dog breaks into a church. It doesn't understand what the group is doing, and it doesn't understand what this prayer has. Meaning. Because it neither understands nor understands."

For a long time, I relied on this passage to resist my inner feelings of real life. From now on, it doesn't matter what it means to do it. What is it? Let's talk about it first. Go and participate, go experience, lose love, get married, get lost, get married, go on the road of life, see the road, and taste the taste. Otherwise, it will always be the dog in the church who does not understand God's thoughts.

I used to hear the old man always say: "How come is it not a lifetime?" At that time, I was still immersed in the single dream of the little girl, and my heart was awkward: What if I couldn’t live the life I wanted? If I am unmarried, my parents are forced to marry, and the whole family can't lift their heads in that small town. But if you marry a poor ghost, there is no house car, but you have to wait for the in-laws to do it. If you marry a rich man, he will not return to the night. What should I do if the affair is derailed, middle-aged marriage?... Please don’t laugh. Who isn’t this when you were young? I can’t wait to think about fifty years of life, for fear of taking a wrong step.

In the end, I did not marry the rich, but I did not marry the poor, and my in-laws did not dare. However, there is no one hundred percent of my dream life. I am so ignorant of this dull and mediocre life. Yes, yes, how it’s been a lifetime, it’s not negative. For me, it has become positive. The worst in life, is not that you have not lived your favorite life, then?

At the moment I accepted the mediocrity, I seemed to sigh a long sigh. The sky was blue, the grass was green, and I accepted the size of my height and waistline, and I lived more confidently. Not only did I not give up my dreams, but I also talked about the word dream again. I am not nervous; I no longer worry that it will not be realized. It’s easy to put it on, maybe it’s done in the first place; let’s put it down when it’s exhausted, occasionally. I am trying to be a person with two or two achievements, but I am also prepared. Maybe in my life, I will continue to be mediocre as this year.

It is like an empty valley, I am ready to find it, and I am ready to lose it.

If it is more specific, I am no longer lying in bed thinking about life. Every morning, I wake up with no worries, first burn the pot of water, then wash it, and give myself a little bit of makeup, ready to meet people at any time. After drinking water for breakfast, while reading the manuscript, in addition to driving, 12 minutes to go to bed. Strive to not think about anything, delay the time to eat and sleep.

At this time, I suddenly understood why Ms. Yan Geling was sitting at home and waiting in the morning, and then sitting in front of the computer in the morning. She said that this is the responsibility of being a wife to let her husband see the best side; but I feel that this is not only related to the wife’s responsibility, it is the responsibility of life, this is a stereotype that you can say, but I Think it is a habit of self-discipline.

The old girlfriends are also controlled by order. The mobile APP is sorted like a file cabinet. Just like four years ago, she stood on a street in Guangzhou, surrounded by black and white houndstooth scarf, showing me how her big bag is arranged. A small bag like a terracotta warrior: A woman doesn't want to mess around in a bag. That posture is really shameful.

In the mediocrity, there are always two movie-like scenes that make you feel that it is also very good. From then on, I no longer confuse my life because I feel embarrassed. Brush your teeth in an orderly manner, and scream more than your dreams.

Later, I began to like Korean folklore slowly, not for those dramas like blood cancer brothers and sisters. Most of them are moved by ordinary housewives, no matter how poor and mediocre, always have the most neat home attitude. Go to South Korea and watch the aunts of the cleaners in the toilets. Remember to make up a few lipsticks when you are free.

A few people in this life can fly to the top of the stage, the most difficult thing is that although this life is full of life, every day is refreshing, not teaching people lost hope.

And I, in the winter of the south, guarded an electric heater, watching Li Juan write "Winter Ranch", the irritating owner in the tent screamed at her, and changed to someone on the week to do this to himself, and immediately took the initiative to get out. But at the moment, the outside of the tent is a wilderness. It is a wilderness where grass is not born. There may be wolves in the moonlight, empty, lonely, chilling, and in crisis. The mood is not good anymore, and I have to stay in the tent honestly, waiting for the dawn.

More like this moment, only the life of brushing your teeth and washing your face is good. Only the life of a rented house of 12 square meters is good. It is your own tent. You know that you will spend your life in another year. Then what? Because outside, it is wild, empty, lonely, chilling, and in crisis. The mood is not good, first honestly stay in it, at least there are a few relatives inside, old friends two or three, and then a pot of good tea, brush your teeth and wash your face and drink plenty of water, quietly waiting for dawn.

At that moment, I want to go back to a night twenty years ago. Sitting in the old house of grandparents, New Year's Eve, they are burning in the cold winter, stewing chicken soup on the hanging pot, the fragrance is overflowing. The snow fluttered outside, I looked at their wrinkled face and guarded the old house with mud bricks. It is the most stable tent in the heart of a child.

In one place, the sunrise and the sunset, and never worry about losing anything. From then on, I know the life of ordinary people. It can also be the smell of fireworks at this moment.