The philosophy of the workplace in jokes has benefited a lot!

Buy a car

A man who wants to buy a car needs 100,000 yuan, but the man only has a cash of 99,998 yuan, which is 2 yuan!

Suddenly, he found a flaw in the doorway and said to him in the past: "Please, give me 2 yuan, I want to buy a car!"

After listening, I generously handed out 4 yuan to the man and said, "Help me buy one."

Wushu: If you complete more than 90% of the tasks, then anyone can easily help you succeed. On the contrary, if you do nothing, the gods will not save you.

match of major

The manager said to the boss: "Jeans is a man who can't help! He slept all day, and I changed him to three jobs, but he still doesn't change his mind."

"Let him sell pajamas. Hang a billboard on him: high-quality pajamas, demonstration on the spot." The boss said.

Wu language: There are no useless people in the workplace, only people who use the wrong place.

Sleeping pills

Yan Rongzhen’s patient said to the doctor: “The wild dog outside my window is screaming all night, I am going crazy!” The doctor gave him a sleeping pill. A week later, the patient came again and looked more tired than the last time.

The doctor asked: "Is the sleeping pills ineffective?" The patient was listless: "I chase the dogs every night, but even if I don't catch one easily, it will not take sleeping pills."

Wushen: Any failure tracking traces the source, there is a wrong direction.

Doctor and fisherman

One day, a doctor took a boat to enjoy the scenery. On the boat, the doctor asked the fisherman: "Do you know how to live?" The fisherman said no, the doctor said, "Then your life will be lost by one-fourth." For a while, the doctor asked: "Do you have a philosophy?" The fisherman still won't. The doctor said: "Then your life will be lost to one-fourth." After a while, the doctor asked: "Do you know science?" The fisherman still doesn't, just at this moment, the wind is raging. The fisherman asked the doctor: "Can you swim?" The doctor does not, the fisherman said: "Then your life will be finished!"

Wu language: I am not afraid of a thousand strokes, I am afraid of a stroke. In the workplace, sometimes you can sit back and relax as long as you are proficient in a craft.

Match

A rich woman is so proud of her possession of a precious antique, that she has to paint the bedroom in the same color as an antique vase. Several painters tried to bring out the background, but no one could satisfy the quirky woman.

Finally came a painter, he was very confident to call that color. The woman is very satisfied with his results.

"Dad," said the son. "I have to figure out, how do you make the color of the wall and the vase so perfect?"

"Son," the father replied. "I painted the vase."

Wu language: Some things are important not how you do it, but how to think.

Layer plus code

When a chairman called a young employee in the company, he said: "I have several daughters who are not married. Every daughter has a dowry reserve: the 30-year-old daughter is 20,000 US dollars; the 35-year-old The daughter is 100,000 US dollars; the 40-year-old daughter is 300,000 US dollars. I will not let those who marry them suffer."

A staff member stood up and asked: "Chairman, don't you know if you have a 50-year-old daughter?"

Enlightenment: Sometimes employees focus on compensation itself, not on additional benefits.

Minimum consumption

Have dinner with a few friends at a time. When preparing a la carte, the waiter said: "The minimum consumption here is 2,000 yuan!"

A friend asked: "How much is the home tofu?" "18 yuan." "Okay, this is the case, come to 120!"

The waiter travels. In a short while, the hotel manager came in and said with a smile: "You are free, how much you can do, no limit!"

Wu language: If you want to break the routine, you must use unconventional means.

enthusiasm

“Get rid of depression,” the psychiatrist stunned the patient. “Let the enthusiasm fill your daily life, get up and go to work with enthusiasm. In short, do everything with enthusiasm.”

After a week, the patient returned and looked more depressed than before. The doctor asked him if he had done it.

“This is where the problem lies,” the patient replied. “I got up, ate, and kissed my wife with enthusiasm, so that I was two hours late for work and was fired.”

Enlightenment: If you divide the time evenly for all the things in the day, then you can only end up with the end.