Phrase joke

1. Experiment with two bugs. The one in the whiskey is dead, which proves that there is no bug in the belly of the whiskey.

2. My creativity is too high to describe, my ability to work is too strong to describe, and my writing skills are so incomprehensible.

3. Information for robbers: Our staff only know Spanish. Please be patient when you rob. It is best to bring a translator, thank you!

4. Multiple choice questions: If lawyers and politicians fall into the river at the same time, are you going to have coffee or go to the movies?

5. Ladies and Gentlemen! Today is the 10th anniversary of my wife’s 30th birthday!

6. The money was lost, the furniture was lost, and the clothes were lost. I am now going out like an Arab.

7. I am more forgetful, so my wife often yells at me and says that when I go out on a rainy day, don't pull an umbrella, so there are already ten umbrellas in the house.

8. Except for one item, the rest of the columns are well filled. The relationship column should be filled with mother-in-law and should not be filled with tension.

9. Dad hit me twice today, the first time because I saw a two-point transcript in my hand, and the second time because the transcript was when he was a child.

10. Tragedy is like I accidentally cut off my little finger; comedy is like you accidentally fell into the sewer.

11. When quarreling, the difference between a man and a woman is like the difference between a rifle and a machine gun.

12. Below, I will announce the will of Mr. Smith. Before publishing the will, I would like to ask sincerely, Mrs. Smith, are you willing?

13. Will I accept my proposal?

14. Don't marry your child is a rabbit, because from a genetic point of view, this is not good for parents.

15. To improve the safety of the product, we decided to print on the cola bottle cap: please open this end; print on the bottom of the bottle: please open the other end

16.

17. Reporter: According to a recent opinion poll, the nationals’ interest in current affairs at home and abroad is very low. Mr. Member, what do you think of this? Member: No opinion, I don’t care.

18. Mary, if you don't promise to marry me, I will commit suicide immediately. This is my usual practice.

19. If it didn't happen to me, then it was really funny.

20. Do you want to have a good pair of teeth? Here are three experiences for you: First, brush your teeth in the morning and evening after meals; Second, go to the hospital every two years to check your teeth; Third, take care of your business.

21. The hair goes without a trace, and the dandruff is more outstanding!

22. We should be quiet when we listen to the lectures in the church. It is very impolite to disturb others to sleep.

23. These are not broken! It's the antiques I collect! Of course, if you don't like it, you can throw it away.

24. Artificial intelligence and natural stupidity cannot be compared - because we advocate pure nature.

25. If a person smiles freely in the face of criticism from others, he is likely to have found a scapegoat.

26. If every time the computer is restarted, Bill Gates can get a dollar, then he has to send it.

27. I pretend to work for the boss, and the boss pretends to pay me a salary.

28. Your eyes are like the bright moon in the sky, a first day; a fifteen.

29. Have you ever heard of a big pig saying that there is a story that the pig said?

30. I never watch TV. I just check if the TV programs in the newspapers are wrong.

31. Why is your child not sensible? Hey, here, how do you still want to go to the zoo to see the bear?

32. My eyesight is very poor. For example, do you see the thumbtack on the wall? You can see it, and I can't see it.

33. Just having money doesn't make people happy, so I also steal some jewelry, stamps, watches or something.

34. In the Internet world, your girlfriend may be a male and your boyfriend may be a female. It is painful, but you have to accept it.

35. Your shooting score is really bad. If I were you, I would commit suicide immediately, just in case you have to bring more bullets.

36. If you want to be hungry than the tiger, then you will win.

37. I put the TV remote control on my waist and made a look at buying a new mobile phone.

38. Life is really boring. Last month, one of my buddies borrowed 4,000 yuan from me and said that I was going to do a plastic surgery. Now I am completely

39. I don't know what it looks like.

40. There is a cock, a hen, watching TV at home together, the hen is pregnant, suddenly stomach hurts, said to the cock, husband, husband, people have a stomachache, may be fetal movement, the cock said, you are sick, You have a fart move, you are an egg hurt.

41. Yesterday I signed up for a weight loss training class. They asked me to wear loose clothes during training. Is there any reason for this? If there are loose clothes, then I am still signing up for it?

42. Can we find a place to have a drink and make a friend? Or, do I still give you the wallet directly?

43. I think that as long as I have a little modest quality, I am a perfect person.

44. One day, Xiao Wang and his wife watched TV together. There was a report on TV: “According to the survey, 70% of men hope to have an extramarital affair...”

45. Xiao Wang was busy explaining to his wife: "I am among the other 30%!"

46. ​​As soon as the voice fell, TV continued to report: “The other 30% hope to have multiple extramarital affair!”

47. If you need advice or advice, we will provide it for free; if you need the correct answer, please pay separately.

48. In the past, when the alarm clock was ringing, I often had the problem of taking it and then going to sleep, but since I put three mouse clips next to the alarm clock, my problem was eradicated.

49. The 5-year-old daughter did not understand why her mother’s belly had a scar. Mother explained to her daughter: “This is a doctor who cut a knife and took you out.” The daughter thought for a while and asked her mother very seriously: “Then you Why should I eat me?"

50. If Beethoven is the father of the symphony, does it mean that Beethoven’s father is the symphony master?

51. I have done a lot of stupid things, but I don't care, my friends call it confidence.

52. We always habitually think that the brain is the most important organ of the human body, but don't forget who made this judgment.

53. One day, persimmons and pears are arguing who is sexy, please pass the peaches to evaluate. Peach dismissively said: "Cut, you are still sexy like that? Come over! Come and see my body hair!!!"

54. Wukong took a magnet and sucked it on the ground. Sha Fei asked: Master, what are you looking for? Wukong: Hey! He put the golden hoop off the ground, but he hasn't had time to grow longer!

55. A group of space tourists logged on a strange planet, and Little Liss warned, “Don’t urinate here, and if you don’t pay attention, you will create a new world.”

56. A student is undergoing a medical examination for entering a vocational school. "Excuse me, do you often stutter like this?" the doctor asked. "No, no, not often, just when you speak, only then!"

57. In the court, Xiaoqiang stood in the dock. The judge asked majesticly: Xiaoqiang, why don’t you repent and repeatedly create counterfeit money? Xiaoqiang is very wronged to say: Judge, if I can make real money, will I make fake money? ?

58. At lunch time, Xiao Ming pushed his bowl to the side of Xiao Gang: "Taste the food I brought..." Xiao Gang took a large spoon and put it in his mouth. Xiao Ming added: "How? After two days, can you still eat?"

59. The girl said to the lover, "You haven't sent me for a long time." The boy said: Ah, what flower do you like? Girl anger: We have been together for so long, you don't even know? I like "rich money"!

60. Xiao Zhang was fired by the boss, and Xiao Wang asked why. Xiao Zhang said sadly: Oh, no way, there are two reasons. The boss said that I can’t do anything right, and the boss said that I can’t do anything wrong.

61. The optometrist teaches the newcomer to offer: How much does he ask, you say 600 yuan, if his eyes don't blink, you say this is the price of the frame, the lens is 400 yuan, if he is not blinking, You say: one piece.

62. The stallion excitedly came to the mother to take the divorce certificate. He said: Hey! I am finally gone! The mother sighed and sighed: Hey, we can look forward to this day! Scorpion! Come over, This is your father!

63. Cobra is highly myopic, and the elephant is dating for the first time. After the guest sets it, the cobra said to the elephant's nose: Hey, come here, and bring such a big pig, you are so polite!

64. The police officer who executed the death sentence went into the cell, and while shaking the raincoat, he announced the order to the prisoner. The prisoner said with amazement: Take such a heavy rain to the execution ground. The police officer said: You still have something to complain about, I have to come back in the rain!

65. A Qiang went to the psychological clinic to do the test. The male doctor said: There are good messages and bad news. I have seen your test results. You have a homosexual tendency! Ah Qiang: God! What about the good news? The male doctor said : I think you are so handsome!