Inspirational novel: My suffering, my university (1)

Inspirational novel: my suffering my university

Chapter 1: Growth is painful, and life does not stop growing.

[I looked at my father with tears, his face has become ugly, his fingers are horrible, and his father’s Yushu Linfeng has gone forever. However, who understands the heart of a six-year-old daughter: I deeply love my father's ugly face! 】

The details about my birth were recalled by my mother a little later. The day I was born, it is said to be a "mother's life" day.

It was about 10 o'clock in the first day of the first month of 1970. After I had tossed my mother's stomach for two days and one night, I finally fell to the ground. The midwife with hands and feet carried my feet, let me head down, slammed on my ass, and I cried "wow". The midwife took me, and I was eagerly waiting for the father at the door to say, "Zhao Xigui, you are so blessed, and gave birth to a daughter of a goddess. In the future, this girl is not rich and expensive. No wonder it will be tossed." ""

Later, I realized that the girl born on the first day of the first month was "the goddess of life". The saying came from "Dream of Red Mansions". The representative figure is Jia Yuanchun. However, my later life experience proves that this is completely nonsense.

When I was born, my father was 40 years old and my mother was 38 years old. Before I came, they had not married for 8 years. Parents are shrouded in the great joy of middle-aged women, and I love it. The father of the public society gave me the name "Mei Ping". Perhaps because of this "ping" word, my life has been related to drifting.

My memory has been around since I was 3 years old. Although the 3-year-old child may be ignorant of everything, it does not affect my memory of the past.

At that time, Rugao County of Jiangsu Province was very poor, and Yongfu Village, the Jiangpang Township where my family lived, was a poor land. On the side of every dusty road in the country, there are three sloping thatched houses, usually one bedroom, one guest room, one kitchen and pig sheep. At that time, most of the pigs and sheep in the rural areas of Suzhong were kept at home, so the homes of every household were filled with the smell of pigs and sheep. At that time, the only thing that could bear fruit was the yellow corn paste, which was filled with yellow tartar on each farmer's teeth. The corn paste is not full, and the urine is sprinkled twice, and the stomach is empty. Finally, when I got to the winter, when the mountain was ripe, the breakfast became a hawthorn tea--cut the hawthorn into pieces and cook in the water. After the hawthorn was boiled, put the sweetener, and the sweet hawthorn tea came out. Throughout the winter and spring seasons, it is basically relying on the mountains. In addition to hawthorn tea, people also changed the way to steamed hawthorn slices, roasted hawthorn ... eat full village people constipation bloating, put a fart will stink for a long time. As for the rice, it is a delicious meal that can be seen in the New Year. Occasionally, anyone who can eat a leek and egg noodles is a festival.

However, there are beautiful places in the countryside. There is a nameless river behind my house, which is clear all year round. It is a paradise for ducks, geese or even the horns. Summer has become a paradise for children and men. On the river side, there are half acre of land reserved for my family and more than a dozen trees such as ginkgo, hedgehog, and paulownia. On the other side of the river, there are cedar trees that stand out from the crowd. At a glance, the sky is high and the sky is clear, the clear water is clear, the trees are shaded, and the scenery is everywhere.

My childhood can't help but mention Meihua, my sister. She is 3 years younger than me and was born in beautiful May. Her arrival gave her parents a icing on the cake. Parents give our two sisters a very equal love. When my sister used to lick her head in her mother's arms, I warmed up on my father's thick chest.

Father Yushu is a wind, quite talented and respected. The mother is illiterate, but she is gentle and reasonable. They are poor, but loving.

The childhood of Meihua and me was filled with the sweet fragrance of Mayflower, and the gardenia was planted by my mother. It was in the small courtyard in front of the house. When the summer came, it bloomed as scheduled. The long, strong fragrance is warm and warm to our childhood. Until now, I didn't think there was any kind of floral fragrance that was comparable to the scorpion.

In addition to Meihua, in fact, I also have a "sister", called the United States and Britain, 20 years older than me. She was adopted by her parents for a long time of infertility. When she came home, she was 14 years old. It is said that her family was given more children because of her children, and she gave her to my parents. But she is very in love with her family. She often takes the clothes that my mother bought for her and sneak it home to her sisters. In the spring of my birth, the United States and Britain married a young man who killed pigs in the village. When I was born 11 months, the United States and Britain also gave birth to a son, which is my nephew. Usually we have nothing to do with each other. Although in a village, only a few tens of meters apart, my sister never took the initiative to visit her parents, she did not love my parents.

The disaster is unexpected, and the advent of disasters that are caught off guard has prematurely and completely destroyed the calm and warmth that lingers in my ignorance of childhood.

The first is the father's lesion. The young, handsome and talented father first had difficulty in straightening his fingers, groaning, more and more like chicken feet, and then his hair fell like autumn leaves. Soon, the eyebrows and eyelashes were completely gone. My parents' temptation was completely seen by the six-year-old. They rushed between the home and the hospital every day, and their faces were dignified every day.

One day, two people wearing white coats went straight to me and the kindergarten in Meihua, and I and Meihua went all over the body and took blood. The surrounding eyes are nervous, skeptical, and fearful. I and the 3-year-old sister appeared in the local area, and they were helpless, arrogant and frightened. My parents are not around, no one can imagine how scared my is, a kind of awkward, inexplicable fear deeply enveloped my little heart.

I finally learned the result. It turned out that a disease called leprosy was manifested in my father. It was the summer of 1976, and I was not happy with it.

My father was quickly left hospital. The hospital is a riverside leprosy hospital that is more than 20 kilometers away from home. On the edge of the Yangtze River, it is a wet and isolated place. My sick father left home in the inexplicable, irritated summer morning, the hospital where the uncle and his mother sent him.

When my father left, I finally found out in the kitchen stove that I was crying out of breath. At the age of 6, I would not be as fangs as the children in the current film and television drama. Anything sensible would be said. Only crying was the only way I expressed sadness at the time. I remember that at that time, my father used his fingers that couldn’t stretch his eyes to lick one of my little yellow hairs. He sighed and said with a dumb voice: "After Ping, Dad goes to cure, and for a while, he can’t go home, you have to Listening to my mother’s words, my mother’s health is not good. You can help your mother do more housework. You will soon be in the first grade. You must study hard. Dad hopes that you will go to college in the future. Did you hear that?”

I looked at my father with tears, his face has become ugly, his fingers are horrible, and his father’s Yushu Linfeng has gone forever. However, who understands the heart of a 6-year-old daughter: I deeply love my father's ugly face!

I nodded desperately in my father's gaze, and rubbed the tears in my eyes with my hands. Father patted my shoulder and turned away. The father went in the west, and the rising sun was followed closely at his left rear. His father's tall and straight body was getting smaller and smaller in my gaze. The feeling of being separated is so painful, I can’t help but cry in my father’s back.

The uncle who sent his father to the hospital yelled at me: "Cry what crying? It’s not coming back, suffocating!" And the more I cried, the more fierce I cried, I didn’t know what suffocating, I only knew that it was drifting away, it was me. The person who relies on and loves me the most in this life! The back of his father’s small dirt road in front of the door has stubbornly swayed his mind and lingered.

[When Meihua felt pain, her legs were already smoked, and the smell of flesh and trousers filled the room. 】

Whenever I and Meihua are waiting for sleep in the arms of a melancholy mother in the night, I can't help but touch my mother's chin. After Meihua was born, I have been sleeping with my father. I have long been accustomed to the feeling of my father's hard beard sticking to my tender skin, which allows me to sleep very hard. Now that my father is gone, how long and distant his return is. Every night, every night, I miss my father in a superficial sleep, and my nightmare.

Since then, I have begun to understand that people are warm and cold, and the world is cold.

Father's illness is the root of all misfortunes.

My understanding of this disease is felt from the expression of the villagers. At that time, I held hands with Meihua every day, and went from the village head to the kindergarten in the village. The 500-meter-long road was full of endless humiliation and indifference. The side-looking gaze and dodge figure on the way made me very sad. I do not know why this is so. What makes me more sorrowful is that I and Meihua always follow a bunch of boys, hand-made chicken claws, and shouted three words in unison: "Little leprosy! Little leprosy! Little leprosy!"

There will be my nephew, this dark-skinned guy may feel that there is such a flaw in us that is detrimental to his image or dignity. He shows a kind of sorrowful annihilation among the boys. He doesn't call me and Meihua, nor does it call our name, but "Little Leprosy." If we escape, the boys will pick up the soil and chase them. They will always chase the door to my house and then smash the mud to the wooden door of my house. If the mother is at home, she will come out, not to swear, but to mournfully ask the boys: "Mai Ping Mei Hua is smaller than you, don't bully them, are you good? They call your brother..." boys Ironically, "We don't want a little leprosy to call my brother..." The mother's eyes will be red. If she doesn't say a word, she closes the door, turns into the house, and cries.

Since then, my sister and I have never had a small partner, and no longer a popular child in the neighborhood. We walked on the road, irritable, timid, like two sad little mice, fleeing in a shout.

But this is only a prelude to the beginning of suffering.

In the winter of his father's hospitalization, the 3-year-old Meihua suffered the first great disaster in her life.

Near the New Year, the brigade divided the pork, and the mother happily went to the team to take the meat of our family. Meat is a kind of non-staple food that was precious in that era! In general, we only have the lucky New Year to taste the succulent and sliced ​​braised pork. Even if you smell the meat, you can sip a few mouthfuls of brown rice. Brown rice is only available at the dinner table of rural people in northern Jiangsu during the New Year.

The day when the mother went to the brigade to take the meat, there seemed to be no ominous premonition. The joy of the meat was hung on her face. She briskly told Meihua and another child of the relatives who played in our house to stay at home, not to quarrel. She will come back to cook the fragrant braised pork for a while, and the two children happily promised, and the mother will take a small bamboo basket and leave.

At that time, Meihua and the child who was one year older than her were roasting fire on the side of the brazier, while eating broad beans and peanuts. The winter in Suzhong is relatively cold, and almost every farmer has a small ceramic brazier. While warming, while burying a few beans and peanuts in the brazier, it is cooked, and then pulled out with a tree stick to find out to eat - this is a small game that children are not tired of. I happened to be away from home that day, so I couldn't remember the details of not being at home. The only thing I remember was that Meihua later cried very fiercely.

Meihua had a dispute with the child in the fight for the cooked broad beans. Meihua couldn’t grab the child who was older than her. She was in a hurry and pressed the legs of the cotton pants on the brazier to protect her boiled beans. Being plundered by the other party. When Meihua felt pain, her legs were already smoked, and the smell of flesh and cotton pants filled the room. Meihua was frightened. She thought of water in the tank and wanted to climb into the tank, so that it could be extinguished. Unfortunately, my family's water tank is too high. The 3-year-old Meihua slipped down a few times along the cylinder. Then she hugged her knees to her chest in an attempt to extinguish the flames. However, she soon felt pain in her chest - the flame on her knee had already smashed into her chest. So Meihua began to scream and scream "help"...

When the captain Cao, who lives in the west of my house, heard the news, Meihua’s cotton coats were already clustered. Captain Cao desperately tore to smear Meihua's cotton trousers, but the mother's hand-stitched cotton coat was too strong and the buttons were too rigorous. Cao's captain couldn't open it. He had to find the scissors three times and five to remove the cotton trousers from Meihua. Meihua The wounds on the front and right legs have been terrible, and some of the flesh has been stuck on the cut pants. Meihua is like a kitten that has been peeled off, crying constantly, screaming, screaming...

[The Spring Festival that year was extremely miserable! The father ruled a terrible disease in an unknown place, and Meihua cried at home. My world is not a little bit of happiness, as desolate in the winter wilderness without flowers. 】

Meihua’s cry has been continuous for three months! During the three months, the house was always filled with a pungent smell. The heartache is like a twisted mother who cooks an egg for Meihua every day, peels off the protein and eats it for Meihua, and puts the egg yolk in a copper spoon and turns it into oil, then puts this special, unpleasant oil on it. Meihua's wounds. Once a day. This is the remedy that the mother has tried every means. It is said that the treatment of burns has magical effects.

Applying medicated oil to Meihua is a difficult and cruel process. After Meihua burns, she can only sit in a round basket of about one meter in diameter every day. Her world is only as big as a basket. She climbs inside, or sits on it. Everything is based on the pain of wounds. If her wounds are painful, she will scream or cry at any time, and the mother will wipe the tears with the poor Meihua. It may be that the oil from the egg yolk is extremely painful on the wound. Every time the dressing is changed, Meihua always cries earthly and refuses to cooperate with the mother. The mother had to cry on one side, while "乖乖" and "baby" called Meihua, and had to slap her legs and use the uniforms of the legs and the claws, until the medicine was successfully replaced. I have helped my mother, holding the two hands of Meihua, the mother with the legs sandwiched Meihua's legs, who knows Meihua turned his mouth and bite my hand, I was afraid, let go of her. My mother is useless to me. She shed tears and gave Meihua a dressing...

During these three months, there were no songs and laughter at home, only the cries of Meihua, the tears of the mother and the unpleasant taste of egg butter! That year's Spring Festival is extremely miserable! The father ruled a terrible disease in an unknown place, and Meihua cried at home. My world is not a little bit of happiness, as desolate in the winter wilderness without flowers.

Three months later, Meihua's wounds slowly grew into new meat, but the scar on the chest and the right knee left a bowl-sized scar. My sister has never been with the skirt since then.

My childhood is lonely and dark. At that time, the sky was always blue, the path was always long, and sadness was always in the foreseeable future.

I went to the National Elementary School in September 1976. I thought that when I grew up, I would be less bullied. In fact, the school is a small society with a clear love. In the second year, Meihua was treated as a kindergarten for good burns. We took hands and took school every day, and still acted like a rat every day. We walked alone and on a long, small dirt road. The biggest comfort every day is when I go home from school, I can see my mother's thin figure on the side of the road.

The mother is in poor health, and she often tortures her with headaches and stomachaches. My mother's jealousy is a melancholy note throughout my childhood. Whenever I went home with Meihua and didn't see my mother standing in front of the door, my heart would sink inexplicably. I know that my mother was sick and lying in bed. When my mother was sick, I felt that the only reliable tree fell. So I learned nothing about cooking, cutting sheep, cooking pig food, helping my sister comb my hair, and even sewing clothes. 7 years old, the small radish head is as small as I have to start to be a master.

I thought that the United States and Britain would help in my family's storms. This is the original intention of parents when they raised this daughter, but she did not. Maybe she was afraid of leprosy. Maybe she was afraid of our company. Anyway, the United States and Britain often came to work from my doorstep. Just don't enter the door, don't even look around.

During my three years in the hospital, my father grew up hard and unyielding.

In school, I was the one who was most bullied and neglected by my classmates. No one even wanted to sit down with me at a desk. Finally, I was separated from me. It was a fool who couldn’t control her own bowel movements. Regardless of spring, summer, autumn and winter, the fool always wears open trousers, so that he can be "convenient" at any time. He almost pulls a bubble every day during the class and is sitting on the bench. I reported the teacher, and the teacher assigned me to take the bench of the fool to the small river at the door. I did not say a word, I helped the fool to wash the bench for a semester. Not only did I wash the bench, I had to wipe his butt. At that time, there was no toilet paper, and I could only scrape it with twigs and small pieces. I have to scratch the buttocks for the fool, I have to find at least seventy-eight twigs. Later, the school let the idiot drop out of school, and the task of helping him wash the bench and wipe the butt was over.

A deeper humiliation memory in the country is forced by people. The debt is a penny. The creditor is a female student of the same class in the same village, borrowing money to buy an eraser. Because I can't afford it for a while, at noon one day, my classmates led several classmates to stop me on the road and forced me to pay back the money. I begged her to be confined for a few more days, but she couldn’t do it. She hung my bag and dragged it. I was wronged, scared, but "wow" and burst into tears. My classmates were afraid, and immediately made a bird and a beast, and left me to cry in the muddy road at noon in the sun.

Later, my mother heard the news and pulled me home. After the mother learned the reason, she calmed her face and took out a penny banknote from the pocket of her waistband, and took me to the classmate's house. On the way back, my mother warned me: You remember to me, I will not borrow money from anyone to borrow anything in the future! I was very impressed by this incident. I have been so long since I am afraid that I will not be in debt.