Autumn tour

I was too excited last night, I couldn't sleep, so I came to school very late today. When I entered the classroom, it was very noisy. However, I was very noisy when I sat in the seat. I went to the autumn tour and only listened to Teacher Luo: "Line up. "The students immediately took up the small schoolbag and sang and set off to the Xiaoziyu Park. Once they arrived at the filial son, the teacher called us to dance the group dance. This dance made everyone laugh. When it was time to play, I took it out today. A pair of big black and black walkie-talkies, I took it out, Chen Liang scared a big jump and said: "How do you bring this thing!" I did not answer, just carefully teach him how to use it. I teach Well, he immediately took the walkie-talkie and ran very far, and he "speaked to me slyly. This time, it’s not like the previous one. When we talked, some people are also using it. This time there is no....we are very today. Happy, I am happy to return to school when I don’t know. Teacher's comment: You introduced the situation of an autumn tour to you, focusing on the process of playing the walkie-talkie with your friends. The article can be detailed and detailed, but the description is smooth, but The overall feeling is not exciting enough, and the description is not deep enough. For example, the part of the group dance can be described more, because “Everyone laughs,” so you can describe the movements and expressions of the characters and write out the joys of the students. If you write the walkie-talkie part, the happiness of the characters is not reflected. The article is attention to detail, and you seem to Is a big child, even the format of the article is not written. Next time you write an article you should pay attention! 2007-11-15 19:17:00

Autumn tour

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