Strongest breakup letter

Dear xx:
Let's break up. It's not because you are not as good as Jia Baoyu, nor because you are not as handsome as Liu Xianglian. Just, do you really love me?
If you really love me, you will collect me the white peony flower in the spring, the white lotus in the summer, the white hibiscus in the autumn, and the white plum in the winter. The rain is this when I have a fever. The rain of the day, the dew of the white dew, the frost of the day, the snow of the day, the snow of the snow, the twelve cigarettes of the day, made the cold fragrant pill for me to eat instead of feeding me what is not tasteful white plus black.
If you really love me, you should say that there is a treasure mirror in the room of Wu Zetian’s mirror room in my room, and there is a golden plate that dances with flying swallows. The plate is filled with Anlushan. The papaya that hurts the real milk. There is a couch on the top of the hall of the Shouchang Princess, which is the Princess of Tongchang Princess. Instead of saying that I have a small mirror on the computer desk. While holding a lunch box bought by the supermarket, there is still no instant noodles in the box. The top of the computer is a bed, and the bed is hung with a mosquito net from the school!
If you really love me, when I am angry and tear a fan, I should immediately hold a bunch of fans to tear me up, but also say softly: "As long as you like to listen to this voice, it doesn't matter how much you tear!" "It is shameful to teach me to waste as a class enemy!" !
If you really love me, you should ask me if I accidentally turn the soup over you and ask me to burn instead of not screaming.
If you really love me, you should be very intoxicated to praise the fragrance in my room is a group of cents instead of toilet water.
If you really love me, you can't just give me the three thousand flowers that I have carefully given to you.
If you really love me, you should watch me silently while I am sobbing and burying flowers, instead of laughing and saying that I am like Sister Furong!
If you really love me, you should wash the cup twice before I drink water, and then dry it with a good tweezers. And you! Actually, I was very wronged to argue that the one-off paper cup was originally clean, nonsense. Didn't I know?
If you really love me, you should drop the moving tears after reading the new words of my new work instead of frowning a good expression that I don't know what to say.
What makes me depressed most is that when I ask you what I am doing, you don’t know how to answer it! ! Now I tell you, you should say right away: "You are dead, I am a monk!"
Your Oo

Boyfriend's reply

Dear Oo:

Then, let's break up. Even if you are not as beautiful as the jade, it is not as smooth and sleek as the Breguet. It is not as good as the spring, but not as good as the spring! But, I really love you.

If I don't really love you, I won't hang a piece of jade that has no taste on my neck every day. I also engrave the words "I don't forget, Xianshou Hengchang" on it, even if it is laughed at by the classmates. Never take it off.

If I don't really love you, I won't deliberately make a look of extreme disgust and say to the brothers in the bedroom: "I feel clean when I see a woman, and I feel murky when I see a man!" The smashing ghost is accompanied by a fat meal.

If I don't really love you, I won't see you when you see the rouge on your mouth. Oh, it's a lipstick, so you won't be admitted to the hospital because of poisoning. But then you cried in front of my bed with two eyes like peaches. The phrase "You can change it!" still makes me feel valued.

If I don't really love you, I won't say to the language teacher who asked me to write the text: "The most disgusting thing in my life is the official name, don't let me write these git articles!" Then I was sneer The Chinese teacher punishes 5 writing articles.

If I don't really love you, I won't help you pick the purple jasmine flowers for the sake of the hot spices, and will not screw the good rouge out of the juice, and clean up the dregs. The steamed steam is used for you. The brother who made me in the bedroom insisted on dragging me into the consultation room.

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If I don't really love you, I won't sleep because I am afraid that you will have a meal. Every time I will tell you a story when you take a nap, you will be thrown out with your pillow.

I haven't told you everything about it, because I am afraid that when you are excited, you will go to the side and cry and bury the flowers and force me to stay with you. I really can't afford this person. If you listen to me and you still have to break up, then I have no choice but to sigh. "Under the screen, I have no chance; in the loess ridge, Qing He is fat!"