Grow up, please bring this letter: the story of a cigarette

Dear child:

You always hate me smoking, and I am very eager to quit smoking. However, I have never done it, very embarrassing.

I will tell you about my smoking today, maybe it will help you.

In 1983, when I was 19, I started my college career.

There are eight classmates in our dormitory, two of which are addicts. They have a habit of always "playing a circle" when they smoke cigarettes, that is, everyone sends one. This is a bad habit of the Chinese people in communication. It is not enough to prove their generosity if the smokers do not "play a circle". I, when I started my collective life, it was actually very fragile. I can bravely decline, but considering the future, I made a mistake: I accepted it. This is a bad start, and many bad starts are started by not being willing to stick to yourself.

But people also need to compromise. On many issues that do not involve principles, it is not a serious matter not to insist on doing it yourself. My problem is that I dare not insist on doing myself while making a small mistake: vanity. In fact, the so-called "playing a circle" is a very false and generous. If the party does not get a return, he will not "play" again. This is common sense, you know. My vanity is here, people have "please" me several times, how can I not "return"? I started to buy cigarettes is my little vanity, is vanity, forcing me to not yet When I was addicted, I kept buying cigarettes.

Don't be afraid of making mistakes, children, making mistakes is never a big deal. There is one thing you must remember: learn to face your mistakes in the right way, especially not to correct your mistakes by mistakes and mistakes. I really don't know how to deal with it, you would rather not respond.

How can I become addicted to smoking? This is what I want to say to you below.

Because the school is smoking-free, I can't smoke during the day, and my cigarettes can't be carried with me. Where is it placed? On the edge of the pillow. Finally, one day, your grandfather, my father, came to Yangzhou for a meeting. In the gap between the meetings, he came to visit me. When your grandfather sat on my bed and chatted with me, I suddenly found the cigarette on my pillow and it was too late to hide. With my understanding of your grandfather, he must have seen it, but he did not say anything. You know, your grandfather also smokes, but that doesn't mean he will approve of his son going to smoke - how will he deal with my smoking? I am so worried, I am waiting.

It’s been ten minutes, and I’m very anxious. Ten minutes later, your grandfather took out a cigarette and pulled out one, hesitating. In the end, he did not send the cigarette to his mouth, but placed it on the table, just in front of me, half on the table, half hanging. Child, I especially hope that you pay attention to this detail: Your grandfather did not send the cigarette to your father's hand, but placed it on the table. Later, your father took the cigarette up, and your grandfather personally helped your father to order it.

Now, I want to tell you my psychological feelings as accurately as possible. When your grandfather helped your father to smoke, your father almost cried, and he took a lot of effort to hold back the tears. Your father decided that the scene was a touching ceremony - he was a real man, and his man's identity was completely confirmed.

In fact, this is a misjudgment.

Let's say something else, you know, as your father, I criticized you, but I don't know if you noticed it, Dad has hardly criticized you in front of outsiders. You have your dignity, and Dad has no right to deprive it of your partner. Similarly, your grandfather no longer approves of smoking. Considering the special circumstances at the time, he is not likely to blame his son in that many students. I hope that you can understand this. The man who is a father is like this. In the public environment, how to get along with his son, his actions and his real thoughts are actually different, even contradictory. There is an open secret here: the father always maintains his son, but this does not mean that the son's actions must be appropriate.

I want to tell you clearly that fatherly love is fatherly love, maternal love is maternal love, no matter how precious they are, they are not enough to constitute the logical basis of life.

The part I want to communicate with you most is actually here, it is my true mood. I said that when your grandfather helped your father to smoke, your father almost cried. That moment is indeed moving, I will never forget. In the general case, people often have a misjudgment, and it is determined that there must be legitimacy in values ​​in the touching scene. Life is not like this, child, no. People have emotions, especially among their loved ones. Sometimes, the most touching warmth often brings an illusion: we do the most correct thing together. Your father used your grandfather's cigarette as his adult rite, which is actually your father's wishful thinking. If your grandfather knows your father's inner activities at the time, he won't do that, absolutely not. Whether a boy grows up to be a man, a cigarette can't afford it anyway. It is your father's exaggeration. The consequences of exaggeration are this: Dad has not been able to quit cigarettes until now.

Children, the most enjoyable thing for Dad is to communicate with you. In the special circumstances of the year, your grandfather and your father did not communicate very well. The environment between you and your father is much better than that of the year. We can communicate more fully, isn't it?

I will tell you that Dad will give you an adult ritual with clear expression.

Wish you happy!