That 1 point of life gap

When I was young, I was studying with the second sister in the village head temple.

That year, from the first grade to the second grade exam, my language was 61 points and my arithmetic was 62 points. 60 points is the passing line. This score is like a one-time effort, pushing me through the threshold of upgrading. This score also makes me a little ashamed and upset. I faintly understand that my score is low because the score of the second sister of the same class is somewhat higher. Her language and arithmetic are more than 80 points. If you think about it, if her score is lower than mine, my score will naturally show up.

On the day of the second year of school, I was slow to go to school, such as a weak boxer who was afraid of the opponent and dare not step on the stage, honing under the boxing ring waiting for accidents and luck.

It will be true.

That morning, when the daylight was bright and beautiful, when the bell ringing in the class was a little irritated, I walked to the door of the classroom late. Just then, there was a slim female teacher who appeared, she was slim and covered with some kind of fascinating atmosphere. She came over and asked my name and took me to the door of another classroom, saying that I was transferred to her class and said that I was reading the book separately from the second sister, in order to encourage our brothers and sisters to work harder in their studies. It is possible to take it to the next level.

At that time, I didn't know how to thank God. I don't understand that fate and life are so occasional and lucky. Just feel that the female teacher can penetrate the heart, bright and gentle, just like the scenery greetings to the season.

The teacher led me into the classroom, let me sit in the middle of the first row, and my desk, miraculously not male, nor a country girl. She is neat and tidy, her skin is white, and she is fat like a doll. More importantly, after I sat down, she used a pencil in the middle of the desk to draw a Chuhe Hanjie for us, telling me with the sweet voice of the city, no one else. When you cross the job, your arm doesn't have the right to touch the arm.

This was in the mid-1960s. Just as the 1970s must have originated in the 1960s, it seems that my consciousness, such as self-esteem, such as the understanding of men and women, urban and rural areas, and some awe of the revolution, mostly began at this time.

In that semester, there was no pressure from the second sister to learn, and there was another pressure that made me more suffocating. Her surname is Zhang, a fat girl in the city. It seems that her parents have something to do with the revolution. The work was transferred from Luoyang to a commercial wholesale department on our village street. Therefore, she became an accident in my destiny, a lucky one, an enlightenment and gratitude that I have not forgotten so far.

She studies very well, and tests more than 90 points per week. This not only proves the gap between me and her, but also proves that the central axis she painted on the desk is not only legal but reasonable; not only reasonable, And it contains profound meaning. I don't know if I started studying hard for her, or for the self-respect of a country boy and the poor dignity left between the countryside and the countryside, and started a secret effort in learning. Our teacher, beautiful, tall and thin, looks sallow, and is getting yellow. The students said that she had hepatitis and was infected. Said that as long as she is closer to her, as long as you breathe the breath of her breath into his stomach, the disease will be infected with you.

Classmates sitting in the first row in the classroom often hide from her in the back row when she is in class. But I don't. I like to sit in the front row, sit under her nose, look up at her yellow but still beautiful face, listen to her language, speak arithmetic, and say something new when she is studying in the city. In order to catch up with the "doll" academic performance and shorten the "urban-rural gap" between me and her, I not only sat in front of the sick teacher all day, but also dared to ask the questions in the teacher's house.

I also saw the teacher taking medicine. The teacher asked me: "You are not afraid of infection?" I shook my head. The teacher smiled and took a hand on my head for a long time. It is this "touching the top" that makes my study better. In the mid-term exam, the doll-like lesbian table, the average score of language and arithmetic was 94 points, the first class of the class; and I, both scores were 93 points, ranked second.

This score is higher than the second sister. Compared to my desk, there is still 1 point difference. Only 1 point difference.

It turns out that learning is not a difficult task. I feel that this one point difference with her is so close, as if there is only one layer of window paper. I thought that surpassing her in learning and becoming the first in the class or the first in the grade, just like looking up to the east, just around the corner. During the summer vacation of that year, I was so boring and meaningless. It seemed to be like a year. I hope to start sitting next to the female teacher and look forward to a new exam, just like waiting for a good marriage.

However, on the day of school, my female teacher is no longer my teacher. She was transferred away. I heard that I married someone and married to the city. The husband seems to be a cadre in the county. Fortunately, the female classmate is still there, or my desk. At the beginning of the school, she secretly gave me a red leather notebook.

New teachers, male, middle-aged, rustic, rural people. Comparing him to my married teacher, there is a difference besides gender, that is, he always has to take tests and exams. And I was waiting for the exam at that time, like an athlete waiting to start at the starting line. My opponent is not my second sister, but my girl at the same table.

We are only one point apart from each other. With only 1 point beyond, I used a full semester effort.

Finally at the end of the period, I will finally take the exam again.

I haven't slept all night. I want to take the exam tomorrow, as I have to be in the title of the gold medal tomorrow. Excited like the love that I had never had before, I stayed with me all night until I arrived at the school the next day. The sunlight outside the classroom leaked into the classroom from the window, making the classroom as bright as the lake under the sun. The teacher looked at us on the podium. I turned my head and looked at the table. From her eyes, I saw that she was a little nervous and saw her worry about me surpassing her.

I put the pen on the table and placed the prepared draft paper in the upper left corner of the desk. I am just waiting for a run after the gunshot. Finally, the teacher came.

He walked on the podium of the adobe building, solemnly looked at the classmates, looked at the nervous and excited eyes under the podium, smiled faintly, saying that this year's exam, no longer test papers. He said: "President Mao taught us to say: 'Our educational policy should enable educators to develop in moral education, intellectual education, and sports, and become socially conscious and literate laborers." Said, "In order to make everyone a socially conscious and literate laborer, we will not conduct the examination papers. The way we take this year's exam is that every student comes to the stage and recites several quotations from Chairman Mao. If you can recite 5, you can move from the second grade to the third grade."

After the teacher finished, the classmates collectively stunned, and then the applause thundered.

However, I did not applaud, just looked at the teacher inexplicably, and also licked my desk. She also applauded with the classmates, but after seeing that I didn't applaud, she stopped applause. Since then, our upgrade exams have been recited by Chairman Mao's quotations. This made me to her - the girl from the city, no longer has the opportunity to transcend, even if only 1 point difference.

Today, after the time of recollection, I am filled with some kind of happiness and some kind of happy heart. There is no pressure to learn, no heavy schoolbags, no homework to write, no sorrow for parents to go to school, and my childhood, in addition to glass marbles, "highest instructions" and the parade of the adults on the street, Following the school’s team to celebrate the publication of “The latest instructions of Chairman Mao” on the village street, these are some happy things – that is, today and now, these happiness also mean endless. However, the rest is uninterrupted hunger and loneliness, cutting the grass in the fields, feeding the pigs and releasing the cows, which makes me feel the boring and exhausted country life. The monotony and boring of the land, like the vines and grasses wrapped around me. The luckyness of the years is that until my small graduation, the beautiful girls living in the rural hukou of the country, they always work with me. Their existence always reminds me of an inferiority and the inevitable gap between the rich and the poor in towns and villages; let me think about the innate urban-rural differences. This is actually the kind of life gap that I want to escape from the beginning of the land and never be able to surpass it.