Respect the fear of others

The famous director Almodovar has a very interesting piece in his Oscar-winning book "Secretly Telling Her": The male reporter sent a female bullfighter who dared to accept any dangerous challenge to go home, the female bullfighter found in the kitchen There was a snake, scared with tears, hysterical rushed out of the house, returned to the male reporter's car and asked him for help. The male reporter saw the heroism of the female bullfighter when dealing with the bull. Although she did not understand why she would be afraid of a small snake, she also said to her sincerely: "I respect the fear of others." Very considerate, I am very touched.

It also reminds me of a breakup story of a male friend. He said that he was not afraid of being afraid of it. He was most afraid to take the roller coaster. He once went to Tokyo with his girlfriend to go to the company. When he arrived at Disneyland, his girlfriend insisted on taking the roller coaster and he must be Accompanied.

"If you don't even want to accompany me, you don't love me." What girlfriend said is not to let him alone on the ground.

The girlfriend's temper is very hard, and she can't be disobedient. He is in the eyes of the public, and he accepts such instructions with reluctance. As a result, he vomits the floor, and his heart is even more resentful. After returning home, the two men It broke up.

"You love me, so you must..." Many people have such a request for lovers. It may be "honoring parents", or "borrowing me money", or just "snoring" or "running errands"... I have seen a big boss's wife smile and say: "He, what big things happened? They are all calm, and they only panic when they see you, like a poor little boy, I think he is so cute!" He will be more interested in accepting his little fear.

There are always requirements for each other. There are requirements, not wrong, but often the words are too hard, the handling is not delicate enough, ignoring the psychological feelings and the situation at the time when the other party listened to this.

I believe that you must also agree: the most subtle requirement is not coercion, but let him volunteer. In any relationship, those who are forced are fake and have side effects.

If you ask him ten things, he can't do it all. He must not be a good lover.

But if he can't do that, he will respect him.

I have seen women who ask for a boy's boyfriend to be a car salesman and make more money. They have also seen a man who asks a woman who is very motivated at work to quit his job as a housewife, and he doesn't say anything.

A lover who knows how to respect your fears must be a good lover. His love must be more than his requirements.