Inspirational novel: My suffering, my university (4)

Inspirational novel: my suffering my university

[I am sadly thinking: In addition to me in the world, what 11-year-old girl is running on the road to Cangjie’s escape? Always remember the panic and panic of the night, and the bones are so cold. 】

One day at noon, I used a knife to lick the pig's grass on the ground of the hall. Yang Dongqi took a nap in the room. When his snoring came out, I suddenly jumped in my heart: Is this not a good opportunity? My heart is starting to jump. The speed of scribbling in the hands slowed down. I imagined the consequences of Yang Dongqi’s slashing death after I was hacked, and a hint of pleasure came to my heart. I gripped the kitchen knife in my right hand and walked to the door of the room. I saw Yang Dongqi's obese body and his huge head. My heart leaped with tension and the knife smothered sweat in my little hand.

Suddenly, Yang Dongqi coughed and turned over, facing me, I was shocked, the kitchen knife fell from my hand "jingle" to the ground. I was so scared that I didn't respond for a few seconds. Thankfully, Yang Dongqi has no movement. I trembled and picked up the knife, and ran to the river to gasp. For a long time, I calmed down.

Now I want to come, I am still guilty of the murderous thoughts when I was 11 years old, and I am afraid that my heart is so cruel and crazy. If I really did it, what will happen to my life? I don't know. Later, I did not rush to act, I think, the gentleman revenge, ten years is not too late, I will always have a day to come.

It was the fall of the 1980s, the season when our mother and daughter began to flee. Escape from the house is also in the midst of being caught off guard. It was one night, when I fell asleep, I was suddenly awakened by a fight, and Yang Dongqi was playing the mother again. I jumped out of bed and rushed to bite Yang Dongqi’s hand to hold the mother’s hand. Yang Dongqi gave me a slap in the hand and made my head sizzle. My mother hastened to protect me. My mother’s bravery is something I have never seen before. I am worried about my mother. Sure enough, Yang Dongqi immediately rushed over and twisted his mother's finger, and the mother screamed and screamed on the floor. Meihua also woke up, screaming at the mother's side and crying. I am desperate, and our mother and daughter are absolutely in jeopardy today.

Yang Dongqi patted his chest and said: "Dare to attack Laozi, Laozi sees you live impatiently! I have never been afraid of anyone in my life, and I am anxious to kill Laozi, and everyone dares to kill! I will go back and take a pig. Knife, don't believe that you can't teach you!" After that, push the bicycle and go out, and leave the door. His home is in Yangzhuang, about five kilometers from my home.

When Yang Dongqi’s bicycle ringing gradually disappeared, our mother and daughter three talents suddenly cried in despair. After crying for a while, the mother wiped her tears and said: "After Ping, you will take the Meihua away. When Yang Dongqi comes back, it is not dead, but also disabled. You first go to the second team to do the aunt's house, and then ask the aunt to think. The way to send you to her relatives, Yang Dongqi does not necessarily find it."

I hugged my mother: "Mom, what about you?"

"I will send it to this devil sooner or later. I will fight with him! You can hurry out from the crack in the door." I refused to live, I must let my mother go with us. The mother and the daughter were so hugged and wept.

Fortunately, the mother eventually escaped with us. We joined forces to unload the door panel. When we came out, we closed the door again. The kerosene lamp in the room was still lit, and the room was bleak. My sister and I were on the road to escape from the mother’s hand-in-hand.

It was already in the middle of the night, and a white crescent moon was shining on our horrified figure. A layer of faint mist shrouded the silent wilderness, and there was a thin chill in the wilderness. We walked from the ridge of the wheat field in front of the door, passing through the wheat field is a mulberry tree. Walking in panic, suddenly, a tree poked my leg, and there was a sharp pain for a moment. I didn't say anything. I think it must have bleed, but I have no time to stop and look at the wound. I fled and reluctantly looked back at the quiet home in the dark. It is like a debilitated old man, clinging to my sorrow and joy.

As I struggled, I thought sadly: In addition to me in the world, what 11-year-old girl is running on the road to Cangjie’s escape?

Always remember the panic and fear of the night, and the bones are so cold.

There is no darker night in memory than that night. That night, I didn't know how many roads I went. I had blood bubbles on my feet and my feet were sore. It seemed that the road would go far to the horizon. My sister finally couldn’t move, it was my mother and I took turns to take her away. When the day was already shining, the mother finally took us to her niece and my red-eyed cousin's house. Hongying cousin married Guoyuan Township, which is more than 20 kilometers away. He usually rarely travels. The mother said that Yang Dongqi does not know his cousin's family. It should be safe here.

Hongying is the youngest daughter of my little sister. I passed away early. When I was young, my mother brought me big and I had a deep relationship with my mother. The cousin has three children, the cousin is hardworking and rich, and the small family is also good.

The cousin saved us. I am grateful to my cousin family so far.

But the mother did not know where to go the next day when she arrived at the Hongying cousin's house.

[This beggar experience has become one of the most memorable details in my life. The love of strangers is in stark contrast to the indifference and inferiority of my loved ones. My little heart has been full of gratitude and hatred since then! 】

I was terrified to the extreme, looking for a mother everywhere in front of the cousin's house. After the cousin's house, there was a dense reed, and I thought that my mother was hiding inside, and I went in and called for a search, and I lost my soul.

The cousin held me tightly and whispered to me: "Your mother went to Anhui. When she fell over there, she will come back and pick up your sisters."

Anhui? Where is Anhui? Why did the mother go to Anhui? I stayed for a while, there was only one thought in my mind: my mother abandoned us! My mother left me and my 8-year-old sister went away alone, no longer protecting, no longer loving us! I hate my mother very much!

I didn't eat for a whole day, and when I was tired, I fell asleep. In my dream, my mother is going to go back. My sister and I are standing in a place where the lights are not shining, calling for the mother, tears flowing into the river...

After I calmed down, the red-eyed cousin talked to me once, and I understood my mother's painstaking efforts.

Hongying cousin had a younger sister who was just married to the rural areas of Anhui. Her mother had no choice but to listen to the advice of Hongying’s cousin and went to Anhui to make a living. The reason why my mother did not take me with my sister was that I was afraid that there would be two "dumping oil bottles" that were not easy to find. When the mother left, she confessed to the cousin of Hongying, and told me to go back to my father’s hometown, Zhaojiayuan, to find my sister, uncle and aunt, and let them raise us for a while. When she finds the right person in Anhui, I will write to the cousin to send us.

I took my sister's hand back to our hometown Zhaojiayuan on a rainy morning. I had three or four kilometers from my cousin's house to Zhaojiayuan. When my father was alive, I took me from this road and went to my home many times. I Also faintly recognize the route. What I never expected was that when my sister and I came to our hometown, we were faced with a face that was filled with indignation, cynicism, and indifference.

The uncle said: "I also have sons and grandchildren. How can I afford two of your little things?"

My aunt said: "I can afford it, I don't raise it! Isn't your mother very skillful? Look for your mother who has the ability to go! When the family is defeated, pat the butt and go, let the Zhao family raise her daughter for her. ,no way!"

The 84-year-old cockroach is old-fashioned, and he is supported by a wealthy aunt. I looked at me and Meihua with sympathy and compassion, and said, "Now don't say anything, don't kiss the Zhao family, first get some food for the two children."

My aunt said: "The pigs are not given to them. Who knows if it is the bitterness of her mother?"

What kind of insult is this? What kind of sting is this?

My head "嗡" swelled, my thin face must have swelled red, I angered and hatefully rushed to the aunt's face that looked very rich and said: "Aunt, you remember, we It’s just that the rice is not on your door. Your family will not be rich forever. My family will not be poor for a lifetime!"

After all, I took Meihua and flew away from my family. I heard an anxious cry behind me. We don't go back. I was crying while running. My little heart is full of inflated humiliation and hatred! That is, on that day, I made two vows in my heart: First, I have been cut off from everyone in the Zhao family! Second, we must be a leader!

What a rainy day! I will always remember the rain that day, dense, sorrowful, sad, like a boundless gray net, covering my homeless sister and me.

There is no way to go.

Sister, where are we going? Meihua’s hungry little face is as gray as the sky.

My heart is like a raindrop falling on the ground, it hurts and breaks. I clenched the hands of Meihua, and our only way was to return to the Hongying cousin's house. The rain is dark early, and Meihua is hungry. We are like two small ants flooded by rain, crawling hard in the mud of life.

The roadside farmhouse has lighted the kerosene lamp, the open door has the smell of food, the shaking figure and the adult yelling at the child's voice, I really envy the child who was scorned by the parents--if I let one drink at the moment Bowl porridge, not wandering in the rain, even if you are beaten by your parents, you are happy!

Meihua is really unable to move. I am going down, and the Meihua kittens are on my back. Hunger and weight-bearing make me dizzy for a moment. I remember the mother who didn't know where she was, a series of tears fell into the rain.

When I couldn’t move Meihua anymore, I let go of her, and we were kneeling on the side of the road, holding our hands on the stomach and swallowing. There was a family on the side of the road. The door was half open. There was no sound in the room, but there was a shovel. It seemed to be eating rice and washing the dishes. Meihua whispered: "Sister, I am hungry."

I don't know what is more embarrassing than having to eat. I swallowed timidity and low self-esteem like swallowing. I walked to the door of the house with embarrassment and coughed at the door. The hostess in the house. Turning around and seeing me, I walked in and looked at it and asked: "Which one are you? Why don't you go home? Do you do it at the door of my house?" I didn't talk, and my eyes rushed out of my eyes.

The hostess looked at me, and then looked at the Meihua on the side of the road. Meihua finally cried out, and I finally tried to squeeze out a sentence: Hey, we are hungry...

The hostess looked at us and came out one by one, pulling me and Meihua into her home. That night, we compensated for the hunger of the day, even though it was only corn porridge and pickles, but the taste of the fragrance was unforgettable. What is even more memorable is the woman with butterfly spots on her face. She and her 4-year-old son are at home. She patiently looks at me and Meihua sipping porridge. I occasionally look up and see her eyes fluttering in the eyes. Liquid.

Since then, I know what makes people good.

That night, Meihua and I spent a night in the straw pile in front of the stove door of the family, and the fragrance of the straw filled the whole dream.

The next day, I and Meihua continued on the road. What I am still embarrassed about is that I did not record the name of the kind woman, which has become an eternal regret in this life! This begging experience has become one of the most memorable details in my life. The love of strangers is in stark contrast to the indifference and inferiority of my loved ones. My little heart has been full of gratitude and hatred since then!

[What I never imagined was that I was adopted by my adopted parents as a child. They decided to raise me to 18 and then marry one of his two sons. This is their agreement with their mother. 】

I and Meihua had no choice but to return to the Hongying cousin’s house. The cousin did not return to us. It was a dark day, and I was afraid that Yang Dongqi would hear the wind and I would never go out. We are like two little mice who dare not see the sky, hiding in the three rooms of the cousin's house, looking at the message of the distant mother.

The message about Yang Dongqi was also brought back by the cousin who often worked outside the home: Yang Dongqi was greatly annoyed at our "nothing to say", and the fat pigs on both ends of my family unfortunately became his knife sacrifices. Maybe he thinks that our escape is a humiliation for him. He is madly looking around for us with a knife and a knife.

Almost all of my relatives in the family have visited in the middle of the night. Wherever he goes, there is no threat: if he finds out who has taken us, he will definitely burn the house. Fortunately, my relatives in our family said that we may all have already arrived in the field. In addition, the Hongying cousin’s family lived in a remote place, and there was almost no contact. The Hongying cousin’s family was temporarily a safe place.

The time to avoid and panic made me feel suffocated. I squatted at the window of my cousin's house every day, looking at the clouds floating in the sky, imagining the message that my mother came back. I dreamed of it.

The message about the mother finally came in two months: the mother had found a mine worker on the outskirts of Wuhu City, Anhui Province, and got married, and soon came back to pick me up and Meihua to go to the land of fish and rice.

What an exciting message this is! It’s bleak to leave the country, but there is rice to eat every day, and it’s next to my mother. For me, nothing is happier than this.

Finally, my mother is back. It is quiet. We were pleasantly surprised to find that the mother's temperament was much better, the clothes on her body were brand new, and the mother brought some candy back. The two days of the air seemed to be sweet.

However, the days after two days were full of bitterness.

The mother had to leave, and only took Meihua alone, and left me to give her husband a family name in the same village. In other words, I was adopted by others, and my mother really did not want me this time.

The mother has difficulties, and the stepfather only wants the mother to bring a child to the past. My mother said that Meihua is small, and she is not worried. She can only grieve me. My mother also said that during my summer vacation and winter vacation, my adoptive father will take me to Anhui to reunite with my mother.

I did not cry and shouted to go with my mother. I understand the mood of my mother. As she said, the back of the palm of the hand is all meat, and she cuts which piece she hurts. Mother is not giving up on me. The mother left and cried and swollen her eyes. I didn’t want to hate her over and over again. How can I hate my mother? To hate, I only hate Yang Dongqi!

I was standing behind the window of the Hongying cousin's house and watching the mother and sister go away. At this moment, I was sobbing and bursting into tears. The mother also turned back in three steps, and the mother’s eyes made me unforgettable. It is a kind of pain, helplessness, desolateness, and complex eyes that are forgiven.

At the age of 12, I have learned what it means to be born and die, and what is called a person.

I went to my foster father's house. The foster father has two sons and one daughter, who are eight years older, six years older and four years older than me. I have not studied, and the only lucky thing I have to get to this family is that I can study again. This is the adoptive parent who promised the mother. In this way, I transferred to Zhouyao Elementary School for the second half of the fourth grade.

It was thought that the days of adopting parents' homes were less and more violent, and they would be much warmer. actually not. When I was studying, I became a small worker who raised my father's family.

Cutting pig grass and grass is a trivial matter, picking up corn ears, peeling corn kernels, cutting corn poles, steamed bread, peeling cotton, cooking, washing clothes, washing dishes, playing games... In addition to picking up the burden, all farm work and housework are almost me. Have done it.

The adoptive father is good at wine, and he will drink three meals. It is my task to give my father a drink at a sales outlet one kilometer away. Often when eating at night, the adoptive father found that the jug was empty. Even if I am eating, I have to drop the bowl and go to the wine.

On the way to the agency, you will pass a weedy cemetery and a cold and slim river. The road passed through the middle of the cemetery. It was dark in the winter and it was dark at six o'clock in the afternoon. It is usually seven o'clock for a foster father to eat. It is often this time to drink alcohol.

There are always few pedestrians on the road in the countryside, not to mention the evening. In the winter cemetery, the wind is blowing, and the wind that blows through the treetops is creepy. No matter how dark the night, no matter how cold the day, I have to go through this gloomy path.

In the summer, the riverside roads often traverse the cold water snakes. I am most afraid of snakes. I always worry that I will step on them. I always walk very carefully, but once I have a snake coming up from my instep, that A cold, slippery, fearful feeling directly to the bottom of my heart. I cried in my heart to call my mother: no mother's child like grass! Mother, do you know the sorrow and desolateness of your daughter?

After returning to the wine, the adoptive father’s family said that they were laughing at the table and peeling peanuts. I handed the jug to the adoptive father. No one told me to eat peanuts.

I have never sat at the table and ate, and every time I drank the bowl and sipped on the small stone pier in front of the door. Drinking is because there are many porridges. Only the little rice that has settled in the bottom of the pot or floated on the edge of the pot has been lighted up by the three sons of the adoptive father. Even if they don’t catch the light, I don’t dare to fish. Like when I drink noodle soup, I never dare to go to the cabinet to dig lard like them. In this home that is not my home, I am self-disciplined and feel inferior.

I am wearing the old clothes of the adoptive parents. They make new clothes for their daughters and exchange the old ones for me, even though my children are taller than their daughters, even though their daughters’ clothes are always Hanging on me.

Every night, when I held a bowl and sat on the small stone pier in front of the door to drink thin and thin porridge or noodle soup, I thought of my mother to the moon of Dongsheng. I would make a dream of nothing in tears: my mother is here! Come pick me up! I intuitively believe that even though my mother and I are separated from each other, one day our mother and daughter will finally reunite.