Even if you choose the wrong one, life will not be destroyed.

My brother went out with his father when he was a child. The returning weather was very hot. Some people on the road sold ice. Dad asked him if he wanted to eat. He shook his head and said, "I am not hot, I don't want to eat ice." My father wrote a diary after returning home. Said that the child is very sensible, knowing that the family is poor, even if you want to eat, still answer no.

My brother's choices satisfy the desire of Dad rather than himself. My younger brother is the epitome of my generation of children. In the era when the rice is not enough, survival is the only purpose. How can you make choices? Even if you choose, you know which option is what adults want.

You think that the child is making choices, but there are two choices: one is to really know what he wants; the other is that his choice is to satisfy the adults, not themselves, like my brother and my daughter.

Dare brother, do the biggest dream

My son and daughter are different from the years when I lived. They have many choices since they were young, but the two children have reacted differently in the matter of “making choices”.

My brother is very self-conscious. Every time I choose the best, the biggest, the most expensive, I always repeat and hesitate. My sister is very determined and has no hesitation. I always choose the easiest and most appropriate. When I was young, I had a misunderstanding that my brother didn't understand what he wanted, and his sister would make a choice.

I didn't know that the misunderstanding was big until my sister was in her twenties and complained to me about a past event.

Once, the whole family went to Hong Kong to play, and the younger brother of the country and the sister of the kindergarten, they can go to Toys R Us to pick up a toy. At the beginning, my sister picked up a small blackboard that was bought anywhere and was less than one hundred yuan. From the moment he entered the door, his brother kept picking and changing, and finally picked a Batman of 800 yuan. On the way to checkout, I saw a limited edition, Batman asking for 4,000 yuan, and changed: "I want this one!" His mother finally got angry, thinking that he didn't have the opinion, he would only choose the most expensive, and he was not allowed to buy it. . It was me who came out to slow my cheeks and said good things for my son. The brothers and sisters were all happy to go home with their chosen toys.

After more than 20 years, my sister was still worried about this matter. She said that she regretted the election, but we praised her firmness and took her performance to her brother, so she did not dare to change. But she is very envious of her brother, every time she insists on this, she does not hesitate to cry, and finally get what she wants.

As my daughter said, my son is going to choose the best and strive for it. Since childhood, the girls he likes are the most beautiful in the school. When I was in high school, I also helped him chase the girls. Although he didn't chase them, he didn't care, at least tried.

After graduating from college, he wanted to go abroad to read a movie. He did not film or graduate from a related department. He even filled out the top ten schools of the American Film Institute. My friends in the film circle laughed at him, and I also advised him to choose a school that fits his level. He said: "Dad, it takes so much money to study abroad. If you can't read the best, I will get a diploma in China." Later, he was admitted to Columbia University, and his graduation work returned to the country and also won the Golden Spike Award.

That's how he is, the best way to go all the way. Other parents may slap him a meal and say that he is too high and not practical. But why do you want to block his imagination of the future? Why not let him go, fail and think of ways, as long as he is willing to bear the consequences, responsible for the choice.

The daughter who dared not want to say: "I want to leave school!"

From a small warm and considerate, to make a decisive choice, life seems to be a smooth sister, high school faced a great career confusion. At the end of the first semester, she said to us: "I want to leave school!"

From an early age, under the education of our family, she knew that there are many possibilities for life; but the star country she read is filled with the value of "only the first three volunteers are schools." She didn't take the first three volunteers that year. This frustration made her feel unconfident and doubtful about her studies.

My daughter proposed to leave school, I want her to give me a half day to think about it. My wife and I went for a walk. After half a day, we agreed, but there are two conditions: first, I plan my study and life after school; second, I will finish my studies after I finish my high school.

Throughout the semester, she is preparing for the future school life. After planning to suspend school, I listen to the "Aerial English Classroom" at 7:30 in the morning, and then start a day of study, creation, reading, strengthening the national ability, and looking for the curriculum to reinforce the interest in astronomy. There is also a commemorative book in the family filled with the blessings of the students. She announced to the world that she would suspend her studies and break her own path. She is determined to make a big difference.

The day before the school was closed, she wrote a letter to me saying that she was enough for five months. She was actually in a mood because the high school exam was broken, so she couldn’t pass the exam. Now I figured it out and decided to go to high school. After reading, the university must read the design. I figured out, knowing what it is for high school, it is more happy and more willing. She chose to go to college after finishing high school.

I am very ordinary. If my child is very embarrassed, very good, and smooth, I will be very happy like my parents. But in most cases, your child may be ordinary, academically unprofessional, and not particularly good. I just know very well that life is like this twist.

I have studied biology, worked as a biology teacher, gave up the opportunity to study for a doctoral degree in the United States, wrote novels and essays, made movies and television, and changed every life. I only know that when the teacher can't satisfy me, I only know that I don't like the life of American scientists, but what do I like? I am not specific. When I vaguely know that this seems to be what I want, I will pursue it.

A person who grows up in such a mood, when he is a father, will be very cautious, not easy to put out the child's thoughts, and not easily tell the child what to do.

I am not a wise father, knowing the future of my child. I just really believe that adults have never made a lot of wrong choices in their lives. They don't know which one is the true "right" choice. Moreover, there is no right or wrong to choose. Who are you? What kind of life do you want? It will determine the choices you make.

Even if you choose the wrong one, life will not be destroyed. My son once asked me: "If I go to the bridal shop and take pictures, will you be disappointed?" I said no, then said: "If you tell me, I finally understand that I am going the wrong way, or There is no road at all. You have to feed yourself as a wedding photography. What is wrong with it?" He said: "This does not require going to the United States for so long."

I told him that it was a precious and extravagant life in your life. Dad can help you, and I am very happy. I have been in the university for four years and the medical school for two years. I went to the United States to study and give up. Isn’t it a waste of ten years? The movies and TVs I made later seem to have nothing to do with these experiences, but I am indeed different from others. .

Why am I so reassured that children make choices? Because I have seen clearly that every step of life is meaningful, failure is good, wrong way, and finally makes you become today's self.

When a child is young, I rarely say to them: "I teach you."

Just when he makes a choice, accompany him to see, what kind of person are you? What are the advantages? What is it? From his personality to find out where he is suitable, he will be more confident, confident people compare It is not easy to make a wrong decision.