Praise every progress of others

If you don't learn to agree with people's art, you can't master the art of getting along with others.

Sometimes people will disagree with frankness. You may have heard someone say a conflict saying: "I just want to treat them honestly!" - it's just because they haven't learned how to be honest when they agree with others. One of the most important things in life is to learn to endorse people's simple art. Anyone can raise their own opinions and cause opposition from others. Only smart people will agree with others, even if you feel that the other party is wrong. Only by learning to find common ground with others can we create harmony. People prefer to agree with their own people than those who don't agree with themselves.

Think about yourself. How do you feel when someone disagrees with you? Very uncomfortable, right? No matter how you treat it, it won't make you comfortable.

I have known Barlow very early. He knows the nature of dogs and horses. He spends his life on the circus and technical performance groups. I like watching him train new dog acting. I noticed that when the dog made a slight improvement in movement, Barlow would pat it, praise it, and give it to the meat. That is not something new. People who train animals have used this technique for centuries.

I am very surprised. When we want to change a person's will, why not train the skills like a dog? Why don't we use meat instead of a whip? That is, why not use praise instead of blame? Even if there is only a slight improvement, We also want to praise, so we can encourage others to continue to progress.

"Sincere encouragement" is what you say to others, praise, praise and support, and these words you sincerely believe that it is true. If someone says something or does something that you agree with and thinks is valuable, then if you give him some sincere encouragement on the spot, you can give him important feedback and point him in the right direction.

It is especially enjoyable to get support and feel happy and receive sincere encouragement. But remember: the most important thing about the praise you say is sincereness. Otherwise, the person you praise will perceive that your words are not true. If someone suspects that you are playing with him or using him to achieve your personal goals, the sincere encouragement you say is worthless.

When you give people sincere encouragement, anyone will perceive your sincerity and feel a sincere "taste." In this way, you are trusted. And the people you encourage will have the feeling of getting someone else's understanding, and his self-esteem will increase, which is very crucial for success. Whether you are educating your children, dealing with your spouse and family, or getting along with others at work, using honest encouragement can strengthen your communication with them.

In order for the sincere encouragement to be effective, there must be no criticism or criticism in the speech. For example, you have to ask your husband to get the garbage out of it, but he always forgets. On this day, when you drove home, you saw that the garbage bin had moved to the side of the road. In this case, the general reaction may be to walk into the house and say, "Dear, I am very glad that you have gotten out the garbage. It should be done, I am asking you to move the garbage for 4 months!" Your reaction to this, your husband may be very annoyed. Because when we sincerely encourage others, we often carry some demeaning, this situation is too often. If I give you a piece of money, and then take the money back, you may be annoyed when you see that the money in your hand is gone. If you say "Dear, I am very happy", sincerely praise your husband, then say "I beg you for 4 months", the meaning of encouragement is revoked, your husband I am not satisfied. He heard sincere encouragement, but he did not feel happy, because he also got a hidden cold water.

Your sincere encouragement should be pure, praised, and encouraging. Don't mix in a little bit of condemnation of what you didn't do before. When there is something good, don't worry about the old account, but let your reaction conform to the current situation, and talk about the good things that are done today. Therefore, the sincere encouragement to play a good role should be like this: "Dear, I saw you moved the garbage out. It's really good, thank you." The key here is to agree and encourage good things. Concentrating on the power to compliment what you like today is a lot more useful than mentioning things that annoyed you yesterday.

Lord Loss found that even the most incisive admiration of the fierce prisoners in the Star Prison was effective. When I wrote this book, I received a letter from Los Prisoner. He said this: "I find that the hard work of the prisoners, if given a modest praise, is more severe than punishment and blaming their mistakes. Being able to get their cooperation will help them restore their personality."

I have never been in prison at the Star Prison – at least not yet, but I can recall that in my past life, there were several places that changed my entire future with a few words of praise. Have you ever had the same situation in your life? The history of praise for the magical power is so numerous.

There is an example: 50 years ago, there was a 10-year-old child who worked in a factory in “Napols”. The child had an ideal from an early age and hoped to become a singer in the future. However, his first teacher gave him a blow. The teacher said, "You can't sing, your voice is very bad, and the voice that comes out is hard to hear." But the child's mother, a poor farmer woman, took her child and praised him. . She told her son that he could sing and she already saw that he was improving. The mother went to work barefoot, in order to save money to pay the son the tuition fee for the music class. The farm mother encouraged her son to praise her son and finally changed the child's life. You may have heard the name of this child. He is an outstanding song king of the present: Carlos.

Many years ago, there was a young man in London who longed for himself to be a writer. However, all his encounters were counterproductive and seemed to be against him everywhere. He received school education for less than four years, and his father was jailed for not being able to pay his debts, making this young man full of hunger. Finally, he found a job: in a warehouse where the mouse was running, put the label on the ink bottle. At night, he lived with two other dirty urchins from the slums of London, living in a small darkroom on the roof. His self-confidence in writing is very weak! When his first manuscript was completed, he was afraid that he would laugh at others, but he had to quietly put the manuscript into the mailbox at night. He wrote and submitted manuscripts in succession, but the manuscripts he sent were also returned in succession. However, a great day came and his manuscript was hired. In fact, he did not even get a shilling fee. But the editor who used his manuscript and praised his work, the young man was very happy, tears, and walked aimlessly on the street. Thanks to a manuscript, the praise and recognition he received changed his lifelong career. If it weren't for that encouragement, the young man might have worked in a warehouse full of rats for a lifetime. The name of the young man, perhaps you know, he is the British great writer Dickens.

It was 50 years ago. There was a young man working in a shop. He was going to clean up the shop at 5 o'clock every morning and work hard for 14 hours a day. After two years of this, the young people can't stand it anymore. One morning, I couldn't wait to have breakfast. I walked 15 miles in one go and went to talk to his mother who was a housekeeper. He cried and pleaded to his mother like crazy, and he swears that he will never return to work at that store; if he has to stay in the store, he will commit suicide. He wrote a long and tragic letter to his old principal. Said that his heart is broken and he does not want to live any more. His old principal gave him some praise, saying that he is a smart young man, should find a job that is more suitable for him, and then give him a position as a teacher. That approval changed the future of the young man and left an impression that could not be erased in the history of English literature. Because the young man has completed 77 books since then, he has earned more than 1 million yuan with his pen. Maybe you know who he is, he is the British historian Wells.

In 1922, there was a young man in California who felt very difficult to take care of his wife's life. On Sunday, he went to church choirs to sing; occasionally singing at home for a wedding, you can earn 5 dollars. His life was extremely poor and he could not live in the city, so he rented a dilapidated house in a vineyard in the country. The monthly rent was only 12 yuan and 5 cents. The house where he lives, although the rent is very cheap, but still can not afford, so that he owed 10 months of rent. Under the pressure of the environment, he picked grapes for the landlord to repay the rent. He later told me that at that time, when he was in a situation where he had no choice but to eat, he took the grapes to fill his stomach. Disappointed, he almost wants to give up singing this hobby, to sell trucks to make a living. At this moment, his friend Hughes praised him, and Hughes said to him: "Your voice is quite possible. You should go to New York to learn to sing." The young man recently told me that it was that point. Praise, that slight encouragement became a turning point in his lifelong career. So he borrowed 2,500 yuan from his friends and went to the east to learn to sing. You may have heard his name, he is a famous singer, called Iron Bed.

When it comes to how to change a person's will, if we inspire the people we touch and let them know the wealth they are hiding, then what we do is not only to change their will, but to change the fate of their lives!

We have all kinds of potential abilities, but we are accustomed to not using them. One of the potential abilities is to praise others, motivate others, and let them know the potential power of this potential. Therefore, to change a person's will; without offense or causing resentment, praise the most subtle progress of others and praise every progress.