You are your strong backing

Many times you don't have to care about the haze of the sky, because you are your own sun.

When I was a child, I was particularly afraid of crossing the road, because one year a nanny took me to the park to go to the park. At that time, she saw a van galloping. When she was nervous, she opened my hand that was holding her. I ran away. I opened my mouth and stumbled in the same place, and then I heard the tires rubbing the road fiercely. Although the car finally stopped in front of me, I was still fainted.

In the coma, I only knew that I was picked up by someone, and then I remembered nothing. Since then I have suffered from road phobia. In those years, there were no traffic lights on many sidewalks, so as long as no one was crossing the road, I would stand until someone.

Later, my friends discovered this feature of me, and often ran away when crossing the road to the middle. I stood in the middle of the road, struggled for a while, then turned around and went back. Although the distance between the opposite and the back was basically the same, I couldn't accept it. I could actually walk from the road to the other side.

After the friends laughed, they would come back from the opposite side and take me to the road once.

I always try to do something to hide the weakness of my heart.

In the second grade, there was a small snake crawling out of the grass in the physical education class. A large group of small partners made birds and beasts scattered. I stood in the same place, thought about it, and then rushed up to step on the snake for ten or twenty feet. The whole snake was trampled into a snake. Everyone applauded for me, but I didn't feel proud at all, because I didn't dare to cross the road alone.

In the third grade, the friends were discussing the frogs and disgusting, bet who dared to catch a frog on their palms. At this time, I silently came out of the grass, looked at everyone, and then pulled out from the trouser pocket. Only awkward. The little friends are making birds and beasts. But I still don't think I have a lot of cows because I don't dare to cross the road alone.

Maybe a lot of people don't believe it, but it has become a big problem for my childhood. I feel ashamed when I look out the window in the dead of night. Why am I a boy, but I dare not cross the road alone?

Until the fifth grade, every time I cross the road, my friends are squinting at each other, and I am already seeing through the wit, so I walked around the pedestrian bridge...

Later, I developed a bad habit and walked on the road with my friends. In order to prevent crossing the road, I would pull the clothes of the person in front. He pulled me away all the way, would turn around and ask me why, I told him, don't ask.

I have gone to the downstairs after many meals, after watching the meal, looking at the road in front of the car, taking a deep breath, determined to go today, and then bravely take the first step, then subconsciously One turned and returned to the original place. At this time, my heart will be very lost. That kind of loss, I still remember it today.

Until then I was born with a serious illness. After being hospitalized for one month, I have to put more than ten spare pinholes on my hands for a few days, then leave the needles on my hands and stick them with tape. That's a medical method I can't understand because the pinholes didn't work until the end. As for what is the disease, the doctor did not figure out at the end. Just a fever and vomiting every day, I thought that I couldn't live for a long time, and my heart was suddenly lost when I couldn't pass the road.

In one afternoon, a nurse and sister came to give me another injection. I was a little nervous. The nurse sister asked me: "Mom?" I said that I have not returned yet. The nurse looked at the pinhole of my hand, a little sad, asked me if it hurts. I said that it hurts when I am tied. Then the nurse said to me inexplicably: "It's very strong, children, you are really your own strong backing."

I was so dizzy that I didn’t understand this sentence. I yelled at the nurse.

She patiently repeated: "I said, you are your own strong backing!" Then I watched her silently give me a shot and watched her leave.

That evening, I walked out of the ward and looked at a big road at the hospital entrance. I walked to the zebra crossing, looked across the plane, and looked at the pinhole of the hand. My heart repeatedly said, "You are your strong backing..."

Then take a deep breath and go straight ahead; there is a car in the middle, I stopped in the middle of the road, the car passed, I went on, and walked a few seconds later. I looked up at the front door of the hospital and then went back. Finally staring at the big road in front of me, I couldn't help but burst into tears, feeling that many years of depression and struggle were relieved. I am no longer a boy who dare not cross the road alone.

The next day, my burnt back, did not spit, and was discharged in the afternoon. No one knows why it happened suddenly, and no one knows that I am entangled in half a childhood because I am afraid of crossing a road.

From that day on, I will not catch some disgusting little animals in my hands, just to show that I am courageous; now I can't face the fear in my heart, but the more I will be weaker, the more cowardly I am.

When I am afraid of nervousness in the days to come, I will think, is it even more terrible to stand alone in the middle of the road than when I was young? Then I relaxed a lot.

Real strength may not be invulnerable, never hurt, but after being hurt, you can still face the greatest fear inside and walk out of the shadows to be a strong person.

So this ridiculous and unimaginable story always jumps into my mind along with the phrase "You are your strong backing" when I become weak.

Many years later, one night, I sat by the window and wrote a manuscript for the magazine. When I finished writing, my feet shook a few times, kicked off the power, and everything was written. Then I sorted out the emotions, and then I sorted out the emotions. Continue to write, write half, and power outage. My whole person collapsed and my tears came out. After a while, I picked up my mobile phone and wanted to send a message to the editor saying that I might not be able to pay the manuscript. When I was hesitant to send it, I took a look at the window and there was a big road downstairs.

I couldn't help but think of the ridiculous past, remembering that the child who had been crying because he finally passed the road once and for all, suddenly suddenly opened his heart. I think, no one can help you at this time, maybe you will encounter more roads that you can only live in the future, so you must finish it.

Later, when I finished writing, the sky was bright. That article is "The Way of Life", which is the first draft of "The Snow in a Life, We Can't See It All". Later, through this article, I was very fortunate to be known by some people. Later, some publishers said that I was looking for a book, and I therefore had the opportunity to go to the place where I was most interested.

Back many years ago, if I didn't ask the nurse and sister a word, and then kept the sentence in my heart, I didn't forget to go straight to face a road that seemed to me to have no end, I think that night, I will still habitually weaken and give up the completion of the manuscript, then I may have a completely different life track now.

People are not too lonely, but many roads, you may need to go by yourself. But it doesn't matter, because you are your strong backing.