Why can't you realize your dream?

At the end of the year, friends can't help but "shun the past", the topic is often focused on reviewing the realization of personal dreams in 2019. I suddenly found out that "the people who succeed in realizing their dreams are always similar, and those who are unsuccessful have their own problems." As a healing "dream to practice severe obstacles", I deeply feel that although the word "dream" is already being talked about today, I still hope to discuss with you several common experiences about practicing dreams. Obstacles, and possible effective responses.

The first type: "dream-seeking" obstacles

Some friends said, I believe that there must be something I want to do, it is my life's dream and pursuit, but I still don't know what it is. I also have some interest in myself, but it doesn't look like "a dream of a lifetime." As a result, the practice of dreams has always been stuck in the first step of finding a deadlock, and I don’t know where to go.

I used to belong to such a group of people, asking myself over and over again, what exactly is my dream, but I can't find one thing at all, which can make me passionate. So, in the case of such a bitter questioning, I was disappointed with myself - a person actually didn't even know his dreams!

There is a saying in the happiness class of Harvard University: "Happiness is a continuous process. There is no node, and it is 'happiness'. Happiness is not the state of either or both."

I think there are many problems in life, such as dreams.

We can indeed understand our dreams better, but there is no one node. Before that, I don't know my dreams. Once I reach it, I will realize it instantly. For the dream, we are gradually clear what we have to do. For everyone who pursues their dreams, every day is on the road. Every moment is both an exploration and an answer; every action is both a process and a result.

"Dream" is not a static noun, but a continuous state that constantly develops and changes in dynamics.

Therefore, the "dream" needs to be redefined. For everyone, there is no fixed thing hanging over a node, so you can find it. "Dream" is a relative concept. We can only say that "the moment" you think that xx is your dream, but when you change your time, your dreams will change.

Just as people's interests change with age and experience, the "dream of a lifetime" is a false proposition. The real statement is: What do you want to do most at this stage? You don't have to rack your brains to think about the long-term goals of the next decade, because now you can't give an answer that belongs to the future, you just give "predictions." You can't say: I want to be a writer ten years later, you can only say that I want to be a writer now. On the timeline, looking back, you can give a conclusion, but give it forward and give only predictions.

Therefore, the current desire, what we want to do now, no matter how big or small, is what we should be most satisfied with - whether it looks like a dream that will last a lifetime. When you realize your dream of the moment, when you come at the next moment, you will naturally understand the answer in the future. You can't give the answer for tomorrow today. You ask: What kind of person do I want to be in ten years? The key to this question is: What do I think I should be in ten years?

To further reflect, when we ask questions about the future, we often omit the implied premise, so we always feel that we cannot see the future and feel that our ideas about the future are very embarrassing. In fact, when each of us can answer ourselves “what do I want to do at the moment”, you have already got the answer to “life”. Because "life" only exists in the present, you have the answer to your dream at this moment.

The second type: "dream practice" obstacles

At the beginning of the year, I found a brand new notebook and seriously wrote the dream of next year: "Travel, study, learn to draw, swim, learn xx..." Ah, it is especially good to think about these things! One year has passed, the book is still brand new, and the dream on that page still stays on the paper, and one is not finished!

I think most people have had such a dilemma - obviously have their own dreams, but they have never been put into practice. This issue is more complicated and needs to be discussed separately.

1. The goal is too high to be achieved. For example, your dream is to read 100 books next year, but you can only read 20 books in the previous year, and the reading speed is slower. This kind of goal is very challenging, and the possibility of realization is reduced a lot. Adjusting your dreams makes it easier to achieve. Perhaps, reducing 100 to 50 is a more achievable goal.

2. The motivation to realize your dreams is insufficient. Maybe you put the piano on your dream list every year, but you can't put it into practice every year. At this time, you can ask yourself: Do I really want to learn to play the piano? Is this really a dream that I must achieve next year? What do I hope to gain from doing this? Maybe some people just want to cultivate their self-confidence in music. Maybe some people just want to show their hands at the annual meeting. Is this purpose strong enough for their inner feelings? If there is a very strong touch, the value of the harvest is very important, then the action will naturally be higher; if not strong, the goal is of course difficult to practice. Ask yourself why you want to do this. Maybe you will unexpectedly enhance your desire to realize your dreams. You may accidentally discover your true wishes and adjust your dreams.

3. Lack of continuous action. Many people have been cursed by the word "halfway" for many years. Many dreams have been stopped and stopped. At the end of the year, the harvest is worrying. I used to think that "persistence" is a quality that I am particularly lacking. Until recently, a friend reminded me to realize my dream in the way I like, because when you try to "stick" to something, it must imply some for you. What can't be adhered to, if we can change the way that we are more difficult to "persist" to the way we are comfortable, the action to realize the dream will naturally increase a lot. For example, I always want to practice yoga, but it is very difficult to go to the yoga studio every night. In fact, if I adjust the time of practicing yoga to other time, if I change the way of learning yoga from the teacher who follows the yoga studio. Video learning, this thing is not so difficult to adhere to.

In addition, if we master some ways to improve our mobility, the road to dreams will be smoother, such as breaking down dreams into small and clear goals, achieving goals and attractive rewards and their pain. Punishment, form a "dream practice group" with friends, mutual support and encouragement.

The third type: "multiple dreams"

The name "multiple dreams" is that there are too many dreams, everything is done, and everything is not done well. Very embarrassing, in 2019, I was suffering from "multiple dreams."

At the beginning of 2019, I decided to try everything I like, regardless of the outcome and meaning. Then, I started to study Buddhism, flower, tea ceremony, Yijing, yoga, painting... However, in this dazzling crazy attempt, I occasionally raised a kind of boredom - too much attention, everything is What I like, can be tasted every time, without further study. Just like a thirsty person going to the well, each well only dug a few shallow squats. As a result, he did not make a well, and he was busy for a long time, still thirsty.

Looking back at all the attempts this year, I deeply feel that for the realization of the dream, all is nothing. you want everything, you lose everything.

It is not easy to do a subtraction of your dreams, concentrate on it, and focus on one or two things. The prerequisite for doing a subtraction of a dream is to understand yourself and believe in yourself.

know yourself. Sometimes, we madly invest in all the interests and hobbies. It seems that we are fulfilling our dreams. In fact, we just don’t know enough about ourselves and we don’t seriously think about what we really love. "The Journey of the Fantasy Journey" said that you believe everything, in fact, you have nothing to believe. Yes, what do you want, what do you want? What do people who want to learn, what do they want to learn? What kind of beliefs and values ​​are hidden behind everything that you want to learn? Are you because of interest or because of fear? Are you really interested, or are you afraid that you don't understand everything, and are you afraid of what you missed? Do we really understand ourselves?

trust yourself. Do you believe that you have the ability to realize your dreams? For me, I have learned so many things, but I don't dare to really choose one or two things that are of most interest to delve into it. Because, if I invest in 10 things, I don’t have any fine learning. I can say that it’s my energy is not enough. However, if I only did one thing this year and didn’t do well, I can’t admit that I’m too Stupid, no talent. - After all, do I really dare to try the deepest desire in my heart? I dare say that next year, and even in the next three years, I will put all my energy on the two things that I most want, to pay, to learn, to improve, I dare? I used to be really afraid.

Recently, a friend asked, “If you do anything, you will not fail. What do you want to do most?” I once again discovered that in the past 10 years, every time I asked myself what my dreams were, I never changed my answer. Writer and travel. I have made a clear dream 10 years ago. What have I done for this? I have learned so many things this year, and I have written so many words in earnest. I have set a clear goal. I have to complete 15 articles this year. However, I have never believed in it, I can really be a writer. From the bottom of my heart, I don't think I have the talent to write any decent work, nor do I have the perseverance to write as a long-term work. Yes, I don't believe in the subconscious that I can be a writer. Although I have told others many times that I am good at writing, I want to be a writer. So, do you really believe that you can realize your dreams? Or are you chasing yourself with crazy chasing, not doing what you really should do?

end

I wrote a lot about the problems and reflections in the practice of dreams. Finally, I want to say that dreams are not a big deal. There are no dreams to be proud of. There are no dreams and nothing to be self-defeating. Life is only a matter of time, as long as you can live your life as you want, and be physically and mentally united, you don't have to be limited by the concept of "dream", but you can live and twist. If you happen to have a dream, just do it!