Classic joke quotation

1. Grandpa is coming from his grandson...

2. I drink alcohol to kill my pain, but my damn pain has learned to swim.

3. Don't wait until everyone says you are ugly to find out that you are really ugly.

4. If you eat more fish to make your brain smarter, then I have to eat at least a pair of whales...

5. Summer is coming, the weather is hot, a group of SBs fly north, and they are arranged in an S word for a while, and they are arranged in a B word for a while...

6. Do you think I will watch you go to death? I will close my eyes.

7. I am like a fly on a glass, the future is bright, but I can't find a way out.

8. Squeezing in Beijing, adding trouble to the capital...

9. The heart is full of love, seeing the beauty of the world is a lover.

10. God has given us seven passions, but we have turned them into pornography and violence.

11. Q: "My avatar, cow B?" A: "Like!"

12. They said that I am BT, let me do CT, and I am ET.

13. Be a person between the cow A and the cow C. a little bit of quotation

14. I also talked about love a few times because of my loneliness. Who knows that the battle has been defeated, easily and easily!

15. I don’t know who my wife is in my bed, my wife doesn’t know who’s in bed!

16. Don't speak English in front of me in the future, OK?

17. Everyone said that I am an actor because I saw a beautiful MM eye as soon as I saw it...

18. Men do not understand when they don’t understand, and women do the opposite.

19. You can't make everyone happy, because not everyone is a person!

20. In the past four years, I have always thought that I am a personal talent, but I am wrong, I am not! My tmd turned out to be a genius!

21. In order to cooperate with the successful completion of this year's program of birth planning in China, I decided not to contact friends of the opposite sex for the time being. Thank you for your cooperation.

22. Wear someone else's shoes, take your own path and let them find it.

23. When I grow up, I want to be a husband, and I want to be fond of being lucky. If I don't want to play, I will eat him.

24. If the sun doesn't come out, I won't go to work; if it comes out, I will go to sleep!

25. Occasionally, you will feel very cool when you live quietly, but if you live quietly, you will be miserable...

26. You are such a beautiful beauty. That is to say, you are only a beautiful person in the tunnel, because there is no light in the tunnel.

27. I knew that the past 500 times of my previous life can be exchanged for this life. I should cut my head and replace it with you for the rest of my life.

28. Feixiang Liu Xiang released Weibo, the photo is the girlfriend and the hurdle bar, the text is: my favorite she and it! User 1 God comment: cross it during the day, cross her at night! Netizen 2 God Comments: the same are 12 Seconds 88...this Nima!!!

29. Today, tell the same dog that the nose can distinguish 500 different flavors. Then she thought thoughtfully for a while, turned to ask me: Why should it eat? Oh, I am speechless!

30. The wife was lying quietly in my arms and asked: What are the shortcomings of my marriage for more than a year. I sincerely said: Only one is a little bit of temper... "What! You told the old lady where the temper exploded?"

31. I took a nap at noon, and I felt vaguely that my five-year-old son was giving me a quilt. Just when I was particularly moved, I saw my son whispering from the head to the end and whispering, "Repose!"

32. The robbery that we have known before is "This road is that I opened this tree and I planted it. If you want to pass this road, you will buy a road!" Now the time has changed: the 500m toll station in front, please slow down! A little bit Quotations

33. It is a little nervous to attend the parent meeting for the first time today. Other parents are chatting, only I sit silently. After a while, next big brother couldn't help but ask me: "Mr. Wang, let us come to the meeting, don't you go up and say a few words?"

34. My personality is more introverted, hey, I usually blush when I say something to the girl. After a blind date, I sat down and bowed my head and didn't dare to speak. The girl looked at me and asked, "How old are you?" I brushed my face and it was red. The girl looked at me blushing and she also blushed, then stood up and yelled at me. "Rogue!" turned and left.

35. Retired worker Li Aunt takes the bus and someone gets on the bus. She sat down and stood up again, giving her seat to a child. Someone immediately gave up, and the aunt did not hesitate to let an old man older than her sit. Everyone voted for their eyes and gave them a seat. Aunt said that it is not easy for office workers to put two tired young men, one man and one woman, into the seat, and finally settle down with peace of mind. In this way, Aunt Li’s family of five found their seats.

36. Today, I don’t want to see a condom in my 17-year-old son’s wallet. I’m saying, “You give me a rabbit scorpion! How do you still have a condom in your wallet?” The son said nothing, “Hey, no later. "I stunned and then "You dare!"

37. One day, Pharaoh rode a locomotive past a bridge, saw the next bridge and smashed a brick on the bridge and threw money into it. The next day, passing by, and smashing the bricks and money, I thought it would be the place to hide money. When I got off the locomotive and found the brick under the bridge, I opened a look at the ten dollars and attached a note. "Ten money left you to take a taxi, and the locomotive I rode." Looking up and riding a motorcycle... A slip of smoke has gone.

38. I heard two silk chats on the bus today, saying that even if you bought the 4.7-inch iphone6, in some people's eyes, you are still a silkworm, because you have been unable to afford the 5.5-inch iphone6 ​​by default.

39. On the draft stage, the players turned over 10 consecutive backflips, and the judge quickly stopped him: we are a music competition, not a martial arts competition. What do you do with so much? The player said: Hey. . . Because, this is my cover.

40. When someone says "You are a good mother", how do you wit back? "Hello, son."

41. Go to the pharmacy today to buy a cold medicine. She came to a sister and said: "Does the boss regret the medicine?" The boss said: "Yes, is there a kind of ten yuan and twenty-five yuan?" She said: "We need a one-off solution of twenty-five yuan." After I went to the medicine, I left. I couldn’t help but ask the boss: "What is the regret medicine?" The boss said: "Contraceptive!"

42. I found a new job, I was very happy to be released in the circle of friends: I found a new job today, come on! Then the next morning, a friend replied to me: Gas station to work safely!

43. Just talking with my girlfriend about Wang Quan’an, I said, “This is a good woman, a good woman is always a dog’s day.” The girlfriend asked: “Is not a good woman?” I was speechless...

44. There was a pony crossing the river. The old buffalo saw him and said, "Don't be afraid, the water is very shallow, only to my knees." The little squirrel immediately ran and shouted: "Don't believe him! The water is deep." My friend is drowning." The pony didn't know who to listen to. The mother Ma next to him told him: "Children, don't bother with the two neuropathies, let's walk the bridge."

45. My brother is five years younger than me. The strange thing is that he only eats duck meat. How does the chicken force him not to eat? When he was seven or eight years old, my mother asked him: "How do you only eat duck meat and not eat chicken?" My brother said: "The chickens don't bathe all day, so dirty, they don't eat. The ducks are all in the water, bathe every day!"

46. ​​I was pregnant. Once I was playing with my husband, I used my stomach to top his stomach. Then the goods rushed and said, "Have you ever seen a hen fight with eggs?" I:..... ...