Life is actually a gamble, the key is for what

Life is actually a gamble, the key is for what

Text / Lu Sihao

Life is actually a gamble. Gambling your career, gambling your future, betting your dreams can finally survive the reality, betting your reality can overwhelm your dreams, bet your lover can finally fall in love with you, betting time can make you forget what you used to Love someone. The key is, for what you can, you can gamble and lose.

But with such a sentence as the beginning of my review 2012 article. At this time last year, I also wrote a similar year-end summary, saying in a big way: "In the next 2019, I have to find a person I love, I want to go to three different countries, I want to continue Write a book of his own." At the end of 2012, I went back to see this year, experienced the Olympics, experienced the end of the world, experienced the storm of the publishing house, and experienced the shock of other countries, after all, I still Reluctantly achieved the goal you want. In fact, I have been very fortunate, my mind has always flashed: "Thank you." "I can't do it", some words of gratitude can't be said, some thank you, you don't have to say, people I want to understand will understand.

At the beginning of the article, I would like to ask a simple question: "After such an embarrassing age, you have grown up to one year old, do you still believe that your future will come?" Do you believe? You have witnessed the world. Do you still believe after the vastness and your own little helplessness?

I used to ask myself this question. Do you still believe it? If you don't believe it, why should you work hard to realize the so-called dream? If you believe, why do you always hesitate? Then I realized that life is not a clear one. The avenue is a process of constant revision. Those who tell you that they have known their dreams since childhood, and never suspected, either they are gifted or they are nonsense. Most of us are constantly revising our own ideas, constantly looking for our own path, sometimes bumping into the nose and face, and sometimes falling into a slap in the face, all because life is actually a gamble.

You are betting that your dreams can survive your reality, you are betting that your reality can overwhelm your dreams; you are betting that you can forget the one who gave you everything and then took everything away, you are betting you now The person you met is your true life, bet you can live with him for a lifetime. Some people met for 10 days, and then they got married very well. Some people have been together for ten years, but they have been separated from the pain. Some people have realized their dreams in this year, and the spring breeze is proud. Some people are unhappy and bitter in this year. Words. It doesn't matter if you are willing to gamble on your time for a dream, then go to gamble; if you are willing to block your feelings for the people in front of you, then go to gamble; as long as you can gamble for the dream, As long as you can for him, I am willing to gamble and lose.

I wrote on the day of Singles this year: "Maybe let you walk for a lifetime to find, just one can wake her up at any time without worrying about her being angry, that no matter whether you are sad or happy, even if you don't talk, you can silently accompany People around you. Or, no matter what the world around you becomes, you won’t care so much, because you have seen the most precious person. For every such person in your life, 10 million The sentence is grateful."

In fact, I am not sure about myself. I really met such a person, but I am still grateful for each encounter.

This year, I met a lot of people. In April, I met a person who had a very strange story with me. At that time, none of us thought that we would develop into what we are now. In front of her, my IQ will suddenly drop by 100, walking will be indistinguishable, and the tongue will be knotted. Even the words "two forced" will be pronounced unclear, and the result is always made by her. I often provoke her to be angry, knowing that she is in a bad mood, and she really wants to do well. I suddenly have no confidence, even though I am the most confident person, whether it is a book or an exam.

Think about my previous life, I lived alone for four years. When you are hungry, you can cook, wake up and go to class, bored reading a book, and you can write a column and do interviews to earn extra money in your free time. I thought I could take care of myself very well, but I forgot to take care of myself and take care of others is totally different. I seem to be independent, but I rely on it: I rely on my own isolation from the world, so it’s okay to get lost in the city, so I can slowly find my way home, so it’s okay to go home and recharge without worrying about the emergency. So it doesn't matter if you stay up all night and get the most out of your body.

Do you want to ask me to miss this day? I will say nostalgia. But if you ask me if I still want to continue this day, I will tell you with certainty: I don't want to. The reason is very simple. All my loneliness before is a kind of practice. All my previous searches are to let myself take care of myself with my own ability before I am old. Next, I want to Take care of the parents around me and the people I love, and stop letting people who love me worry about me.

Not worrying is the most reliable quality.

This year, I also met a lot of very good friends. My roommate is a very good cook who will cook. I followed him and learned a lot of dishes. He is also a working madman. It is common for him to work from 4 pm to 4 am the next day. One day, I went home at 3 o'clock in the morning to test the words, and found out that he was still working and didn't go home. A girl who is in the same department with me, she was only one person at the graduation ceremony. Her parents did not come in China. I asked her if she would not regret it? She said it doesn't matter, she wants to relieve the burden of the family. Another boy in the same class, the speed of changing his girlfriend is the same as changing clothes, until one day he said that he hates himself now.

You can never judge a person because you have not spent his life.

Sometimes I feel that the world is small and terrible. Some things that you don’t want others to know are very fast. You never know how those who hate you will evaluate you in the back; sometimes they think the world is very fucking. The two people who lost their fate, even if they were intimate, could not meet again. However, being misinterpreted and forgotten, it is a matter of others. When you are young, you must live hard, no matter what you love or hate.

I used to have many dreams, many. Dreaming of becoming a policeman, dreaming of becoming a lawyer, dreaming of becoming a scientist. When I was a child, I always dreamed of becoming a cool person and doing a cool career. Grow up a little and find that you are not that piece of material, or just be a good person. Growing up a bit, it is much harder to be a good person in a sense than to be a scientist. Later, I just want to be a warm person, just be a person who can not let children hate. Then, it is now.

Last year, I was still in a different city, with a different mood than the present, carrying a bag different from the present. Whether you don't believe it or not, the change has already happened. The songs you listen to now, the books you read, the cities you go to, the people you touch, the tangles, struggles, hardships, pains that you are now, will slowly pile up into what you will become in the future, and will slowly become what you want. The future that you want.

When you are hard, ask yourself why you will have a life like this now, and you will find that everything is your own choice. From the very beginning, you have chosen it yourself. From the very beginning, you actually know that the road you choose will be so hard to be so fucking. From the very beginning, you know that if you don't do this, you will regret it, even if the consequences are all bruises. So, no longer have to complain, don't be sad, stand up, don't surrender. Stand up, even if you live in such awkward age. Stand up, not for anything else, just because you have the courage to make choices, you must bear the consequences yourself.

Today, I saw someone replying on my Weibo: "We still have 2019." I couldn't help but think of the end of the world's doomsday, and I have once filled the world's doomsday.

There is no end, no miracles. You still commute regularly every day, squeezing the MRT, which is never on time. Trapped in a pool of stagnant water, become a kind of person that you don't like. You are faintly looking forward to the end, to find an excuse for your escape. Don't be stupid, don't like yourself now, only desperately change, only act now, because this thing can only be done by yourself, you have no excuse, only you can find the exit.

You know, when you come to this world, you can't go back alive. The difference between you and others is how you live. Yes, there must be something on your body that will make you shine. It is your own rhythm. It is something you are different from. That is your way, you have to go by yourself to find the exit. Moss is ignorant, the world's gonna know your name.

Since the earth is not destroyed, continue to work hard.