Lifelessness is the biggest negative energy

Originated from yesterday and old classmate T. T originally went to a good university of science and technology in other provinces. Later, because the class monkeys couldn’t live, the department was seriously linked and turned back to local colleges. When I go home occasionally, everyone will have dinner, one is an old friend, and the other is that after I have studied at the university, it is like a watershed, and mixing and mixing will not affect the friendship. However, after one or two times, I became more and more disgusted with him about the future planning. The feeling he gave me was more and more like a glimpse of everything, and repeatedly emphasized the line that he might not wear on his wings.

“Do you think I am a suitable singer?” he asked. “I feel that I am quite talented in performances. I am not on the stage, I am a squad in my freshman...”

“Do you mean hobbies? Or a career?” I feel a bit surprised.

"I really want to do this. But it seems too late, I am studying science, and I have no connections. I can't play guitar..."

When we met last winter, we talked like this, when his father was busy and tried to transfer his student status back to the city. In addition to his career, he also offered himself a business, entered the organization, became a teacher, entered the enterprise, and even became China's detective Conan and so on, and then slowly veto one by one. Of course, I believe that the last one is just a kind of fanatic return to the light.

And half a year later, at the dinner table yesterday, I thought that time had never flowed. T is still sitting opposite, with a vague and worried voice saying:

"I don't want to go to politics. My dad is a civil servant. I can't stand the politics of China... Doing business? I think I am too honest and will not hang people. I don't want to continue learning DZ. How do you say it? A lot of electronics, I can't earn any money. I don't think I am interested in this... I might go to a graduate student of a teacher's school? But people say that you learn DZ's transfer to a teacher, you are sick..."

I feel that there is a familiar feeling of powerlessness, pulling my chopsticks down. Yes, I have had such a time, like an octopus kept in a glass bottle, unable to wave the tentacles in all directions. Tangle, fear, feel that everything is possible, everything is no way out, everything is a taste.

But that was two years ago. I couldn't find a clue in the life of Fudan Garden. I simply went to the society to find it. Many people have advised me that confusion is a common problem in the early twenties. You don't have to worry that you don't have to struggle with you, but I see half of them cross over twenty and twenty, and see thirty. When it’s done, the confusion seems to have increased. I don't think I have to wait.

"Like to be with a child, you can learn from a teacher. If you are barely going to do DZ, ten or twenty years, you may have to turn around. If you have a discussion, but you are happy, you can't make it." For a lifetime. Whoever dares to talk about you?"

"I tell you what I want to do when I was young," he said suddenly. "I want to play football when I was young. My dad is very supportive. My mother doesn't agree, even if it is; then I want to do it for a long time." Detective, you know, but my mom took all my detective books in high school; later I liked creatures and wanted to be a zoologist, but I didn’t report it..."

"Why didn't you report it?"

"Actually, my second and third volunteers are all biological..."

“Why don’t you write your first wish?”

"Actually, you know, the Chinese society is like this. What I want to do now is impossible in Chinese society." He interrupted me. "China has no detectives. Zoologists have been in the mountains and forests for more than a decade..."

It is the coercion of parents, the limitation of volunteering, the unsatisfactory environment, everything, even the "now Chinese society" caused me to be unable to find a goal in my twenties! It has nothing to do with myself! If you have to say something, it’s just because I’m “honest” and “can’t stand the politics of China”. It’s not suitable for countless ways! But now, I’m doing nothing, even thinking about nothing, what to do, I also It’s very painful! I’m also very talented! Guozhongkou is faster than everyone else, and high school can read it again in English.

I am really very, very disgusted with this powerlessness.

It is based on the self-confidence of the feathers of the feathers, jumping from the top of this self-confident bubble, and the pain caused by falling into reality. Long Shenglong, Feng Shengfeng, if you know that you are a little mouse, naturally you don’t want to go to the hole. The problem is that you are not sure. You don't know your current platform, the potential of the future, and you will not succumb to the status quo and refuse to climb your contacts. You can't control yourself to get up early every morning, go to bed early at night, work for three hours, and study for four hours. You are full of anxiety and sincerely asking others what they don't want to learn. There is always a delay. Don't be fooled by this fabricated disease name, it does not require adjuvant treatment, just cut off the lazy ribs and cut it off by yourself. A person can do nothing to himself, and he can be firm and powerful.

Once I was talking to old Wu Xiansen. At that time, I was internship in Sanlian, and a sudden office storm broke out all the interns. Including a sister who has been internship for half a year and would have used it. I said that after entering the society, I feel that I can't do anything. You can't tell when the storm will come. It's like a beggar. At this moment, you think you are free to do it. In fact, the ropes are put on the legs.

Old Wu Xiansen dismissed: You have to fight hard when you string the rope, otherwise how can you prove that you are still alive?

I want to tell this story to T. I thought about it or didn't speak.

There is no plan for the future. I can only sit on the high bones and listen to him telling the past. "When the middle school is at the top of the physical strength, there are a few hundred seconds of sprinting." I hate that my mouth is so fast, hahaha." "I am an actor, I am a actor in the whole department," and I will be able to lead the dinner for most of the time. I sit on the opposite side and nod. "Oh, ah, right..."

I sometimes couldn't stand the huge silence in my throat. I wanted to tell him how to run interviews, filming, encountering strange artists, staying upside down in the bar, singing about the ignorance of the art, talking about the art circle. Betrayal, conspiracy, and digging the wall. But I feel that those fresh experiences, even if they are frustrated, are so pressing in front of him.

Every time I am scattered, I am very worried, and old friends are lost like this.

It seems difficult to imagine that those who shared with you the three-year high school education in the middle school and the three years of high school education will quickly differentiate and become a stranger after entering the university separately from each other. When you are desperately trying to overcome the negative, lazy, and fearful nature of the nature, someone has made its captives in a grandiose manner. I think everyone has a sense of powerlessness in their hearts. The original is powerless to time and life, not to mention being in a modern society. Everyone is experiencing a series of pressures and persuasion, such as career, buying a house and buying a car.

But only against it, can you prove that you are alive. To fight the end is eternal life.