You can't be beaten by yourself when you are alive.

If you are alive, you can't beat yourself, you can fight yourself, and life will be completely finished.

I have a special love complaint for a while: Why is my destiny not always better than others? Others can return tens of thousands of dollars to the provident fund, and I work in the same unit, and I have worked harder and harder than others. It is also obvious that because of the different systems, there is no such thing. It turns out that people and people are really different. Even at a starting line, the treatment is different. I know that this is an institutional problem. It is a social and business issue. It is not a leader or a person who can decide. What's more, some people than I can do are just like me because of institutional problems. Hey, I only have six or seven years of work time left, and I will retire early when I am 45. I don't know whether it is the labor law of the country or the enterprise's own ruling. At the age of 45, it is the age of the old, the young, the old, the old, the young. Thinking of the age of retirement, I feel that 45 years old is one of my goals. With goals, it is like having a "dream", because it is a real, distant dream, so my life is slack. Knowing that the dream ahead is so clear, I can look at it at a glance, and I feel that there is nothing in my heart. No matter how hard you are, it’s just an ending. Who can understand this kind of mood?

Think of an experience many years ago.

That is a long-distance race of the participating units. The competition is divided into male and female groups. I am naturally a group of women. First, a group of men played first. At that time, my husband also participated. I remember running 4,000 meters and running around the square. The square is up and down the ramp, which is very physically exhausting. The husband went to the second squat and could not hold on, panting. I noticed that he started to run to the top, but later he lost his strength, gave up, and gradually ran to the back. I am cheering for him outside, thinking: my husband must be the best, but no matter how I shouted the scorpion, my husband's face was painful and sweaty, he really could not run. As a result, he didn't even have a place, just insisted on running down. I looked at him with regret, and I didn't know what it was.

It’s the turn of the women’s group, I thought I must run a good grade and give my husband a look. With a shot, start running! Many people rushed to the front, I didn’t relax, followed the crowd, one squat, two squats... fewer and fewer people ran ahead, the team was obvious Pulling out the level, some are far behind, and some even near the "free walk". I clench my teeth and don't let my spirits go down. I saw my position in the front four or five people. When I ran to the fourth lap, I was in the position of the first two people. The wind is blowing, but I am still very hot and hot. I feel that my nephew is smoking, the whole body is hot and stuffy, and the chest is like a big stone, and it is possible to fall to the ground at any time. My face must have risen red, I really want to stop and rest! But the consciousness tells me that I can't give up, I bite my teeth and stick to it. There was a man behind me, and the first five hundred meters to the end of the line, she had already come to me, I felt her threat. "No," I can't let her go beyond, I can definitely refuel. I clenched my teeth and my mouth was bitten red and swollen. My legs are like lead, just mechanically moving, looking at the finish line that is about to reach in front, my heart is struggling on the cross leg. Add oil, otherwise the previous efforts are in vain. I ran two steps and felt that the road to life was just five hundred meters away. When I reached the end, I passed out. As a result, I got the third place. Because I saw the two in front of me really can't surpass it. But I did my best, and I never gave up.

In the past, I saw myself. Whether you are working hard or working hard, I am proud of my past. I am able to win the present results. It is the result of my efforts and I should be happy.

But I can't stop, just like the experience of running. When I passed, I will surpass it. If I give up, I will always be abandoned by life.

Every time I think about it, it will make my chest scream and stir up.

A voice tells me that as long as life is still there, life cannot stop. No matter how life deceives itself, there is no reason to give up. Giving up is to admit defeat, and confession is by no means my personality.