Pay attention to what the winners say.

Pay attention to what the winners say.

Everyone is eager to succeed. For some reason, all those who are considered successful are also happy to share their successful experiences. When those who are well-dressed stand on the stage and talk in vain, even if they look flat, they will feel radiant. Every word, every word, and even every word they say seems to be full of countless meanings, throwing words and words. The people in the audience, despite the thoughts in their minds, still intend to struggle to concentrate, and can’t wait to record every word back and forth.
However, the audience should have their own wisdom and understand the basic principles of communication, so as not to fall into the situation of "whatever people say and believe." When listening to anyone's speech, you should not take the "precaution, questioning" mentality, which may miss important information, because our mentality will become our colored glasses, so that we can only receive the filtered information. . However, in the end, all the information obtained, without the analysis and without thinking, can be equally dangerous or harmful.
First of all, the winners are actually unnecessary, have no obligation, and often do not have enough time to tell all the details. Believe me, if we only use wealth, rights, and status to measure success, then there are countless hardships behind all successes, and they are often filled with a lot of completely ulterior details. For example, the boss of a large domestic enterprise will certainly not say to everyone that he has made certain decisions under the pressure of peer competition and tremendous pressure from all sides. The pursuit of great wealth is so, then, the pursuit of great rights and supremacy is even more so.
In some things, everyone should have the right to silence. Those who are sharing the so-called "successful experience" should also enjoy such rights. As the US police often said, “You have the right to remain silent, but what you say will be a testimony.” In the extreme case of not being special, no one of us has the right to ask another person to tell the full details. But if they say it, you will treat it as all; if they don't say it, you will think it is not. Then you belong to the same IQ level as the guy in the fable.
Secondly, almost all the successful people, when telling their own success stories, will intentionally or unintentionally exaggerate the price of their own success, exaggerate the predicament that they have faced and overcome, and exaggerate the difficulty of their ultimate success. This is not their intention, because they are also human beings, and like all ordinary people have different degrees of vanity to be satisfied. Their current success is certain, then the glory of success depends on how difficult it is, that is, the worse the starting conditions, the higher the difficulty will be. Only the more difficult, the more applause can be obtained, the more recognized the degree, the more people will be admired.
They do this and there is another source of subconsciousness in order to protect themselves. The most urgent task for everyone who has achieved great success is to protect their vested interests. There is no difference in this chess game, not only to constantly "attack", but more importantly, to "defense" firmly. They exaggerate the price they pay for their success. The subconscious mind says, "Look, success is not coming, it costs a lot of money, you still have to think about it." This is another form. The "intimidation" of "the intimidation" is essentially the same as the warning of "who wants to practice the power of God, must first come from the palace."
They do this, and there is support from the audience or the audience. Most people like to hear successful people tell their hard experiences - the harder the better, the more bitter and hateful they are. The vast majority of people's lives are faint, even including most of those who succeed - if I have not guessed wrong. The reason why the film is wonderful is caused by two reasons. The first is art processing, and the second is the compression of the time period. The story of a lifetime is spoken in one and a half hours. It is not turbulent and thrilling. However, real life can't be undulating and turbulent. In fact, no one's heart can withstand such a life.
On the one hand, most people will not realize the truth that “the temper is true” in their lifetime. On the other hand, many people in the subconsciously hope that all the successful people will succeed through hard struggle, because they are subconsciously I feel that the only way to explain my "unsuccessful" is to accept my "unsuccessful" more naturally. If their subconscious thoughts are expressed, it might be like this: "Look, how difficult is it to succeed? It takes so much to pay! I haven’t paid so much, it’s normal to be unsuccessful..." In fact, For those who are eager to succeed and have not yet succeeded, how much comfort is the “bitter and deep hatred of the successful person” and the experience of blood and tears!
In addition, more importantly, even if those who succeed are not intentionally concealing or intentionally exaggerating, they may still have various deviations when telling their true experiences. Successful people, or those who are considered successful, are still people who are not gods. Since they are still human, they are likely to have the common flaw of most people: "cognitive bias." For example, as mentioned earlier, "the human brain has a self-protecting function: forgetting pain."
Therefore, when successful people tell others about their successes, they often intentionally or unintentionally cover up the mistakes that they have never regretted. Because those experiences are so painful, their brains automatically erase those memories - if their brains are functional. Therefore, a more reasonable explanation is that they are not intentional, but they do not know how the “cognitive bias” inherent in each person has affected them. Of course they will talk about the dilemmas they have encountered, but have you noticed such an interesting phenomenon? In their narrative, in the end, they will finally get rid of those seemingly irreversible dilemmas with incomparably tenacious spirit. - Of course, such a rehearsal is a warm applause. So, do they have a dilemma that cannot be solved until now? I don't believe they don't, unless he lives in another world - heaven.
Also, be sure to understand the fact that sometimes the experience of "successors" is useless because those experiences are simply wrong, but the key is that they may not know. For example, they have encountered an era of rapid economic growth, making money no matter what they do, and earning a lot of money; therefore, from a grand perspective, it is not the valuable experience they think is working, but the giant economy. Give them such an opportunity. But who is willing to admit that his success has nothing to do with his own experience? One of the common cognitive biases that humans have is to take success into yourself and blame others for bad luck. And those "successors" often do not intentionally deceive you when they do this - they are even kind.
Finally, to know that some "valuable experience" is correct, it may not be so effective to put it on yourself. What is most likely to make you go astray is your understanding of yourself. The elders always said to us that "people are more expensive," they forgot to say, and may even not know at all that what they really should say is: "People know yourself - hard to be!" Imagine the last time you When you listen to the story of completion, you can't help but know how valuable it is to know. Of course, there is no need to feel inferior to yourself so easily, and all of them are like this - only to a different extent.
For example, successful people often say that they don't care about money, they know the value of personality. However, you are different from them, you don't have enough money right now! Believe me, the vast majority of people, when there is no money, the understanding of "a valuable personality" is very difficult. You are going to eat, your family should not be hungry, and the basic conditions are not guaranteed. "Personality has a fart" has become a choice for many people. Cui Jian describes it like this: "For love, the song is a fart; for life, love is a fart." There is often no way to listen to the truth. In fact, this is not a cynicism or a cynical saying. It is just a calm description of life by people who have the courage to accept reality.
One very practical suggestion is that you might as well do the opposite – try to learn from the losers. Don't say that imitating the winner is difficult, even if you are successful. There are many winners, but there are very few real winners around you; the things behind success are hard to see, the truth of success is hard to judge, and the winners have intentionally and unintentionally beautify their experience. And all this is disturbing your judgment. But it is relatively easy to observe losers, because their failures are often clearly determined, and the reasons for failure are often easy to determine, although losers will find various excuses. Moreover, the number of losers around you is obviously more than the number of successful people, so you have more observation opportunities.
So, with this understanding, you often encounter so-called luck - when you are about to make mistakes, someone has made the same mistake before you. Of course, "focusing on learning lessons, not spending time on gloating," is simply not an easy task.
The last thing to add is that the purpose of my text is definitely not to subvert your views, so that you can treat all the "successful experience shared by" as a dung. I just want to remind you, "What do you believe in what people say, it is stupid." Only after careful screening, the true valuable experience of true winners is invaluable. However, on the one hand, it is necessary to pay more attention to the screening, on the other hand, it is necessary to spend more time to truly understand yourself, so as to be able to avoid the disaster that may be caused by "generalization and hard work".