Come slowly, everything is too late

Come slowly, everything is too late
1. Everyone is afraid that it is too late

Last week, my mood has been very low. In addition to the low mood, I am still accompanied by constant anxiety. Because I feel that I have too many things to do, I am worried that my work project has not progressed for most of the month. I am anxious to learn English. Anxiety is too late to realize the dream of the heart. Perhaps because of Zhang Ailing's "fame is getting early" poison, I am eager to earn enough money to buy a house for my father. I am eager to realize my travel dreams earlier. I am eager to live when I am relatively young. On a comfortable day, if these things are not completed within my own time, I feel like I am a loser. My heart is impatient, and the anxiety about time afflicts me. I ask myself to work non-stop. I find that my efforts have no obvious results, and I am confused.
"If people can live for 100 years, sleep for 30 years, eat for 10 years, dress for 7 years, walk for 7 years, call for 1 year and a half, call no one to pick up 1 year and 10 Month, watching TV for 4 years, surfing the Internet for 12 years, looking for things for 1 year and 8 months, shopping for 1 and a half years, fighting fights when you are young, after the family is married, the couple fights, after the children, the children are removed for 5 years, 70 days of chat, Blow your nose for 10 days, cut your nails for 15 days, and be obscenity for 8 days. The last time is 10 years. What can you do for ten years?" Whenever I see something like this, I can’t help but worry, I’m afraid I can’t wait. Do what I want to do, I am afraid I have no time to realize my dreams, I am afraid I don’t have time to have what I am eager to get.
In fact, all the anxiety of people comes from this "unreachable". It is too late to figure out what they want. The eyes have begun to whitish; if they can't decide their love, the other party is already married. If they don't have time to love children, he already has Growing up and leaving you; if you don't have time to make a name, we are about to enter the grave. We are afraid that everything is too late.
Just when I was scared to come, I received several emails from friends, and some were forced to do the work that I didn't like. I asked what should I do? Some asked me how to find my hobbies? Some people say that they are confused when they do what they call the "unreliable" attempt, and they are confused. Ask me how to pursue my own path. Some asked me what ability and quality to be an advertising copy? Some at the parents' request and then go to the blind date again and again, physically and mentally exhausted, ask me what to do? Some even think of a sophomore, but I feel that I am a loser. I have been through the day and night. I don’t know what I want and ask me how to plan my life. There are still 20 years old who are very upset about their marriage, and they want to marry a rich man and live a comfortable life.
It turns out that everyone is just as confused. It turns out that everyone is just as anxious. It turns out that everyone is too scared. It turns out that everyone doesn't know what they want...
I began to ask myself, if I didn't learn English in a half year, would my life be a mess? If I have not fulfilled my dreams in my life, will my life be unfortunate? The answer is all negative. Because I know that I am living seriously every day, because I am trying to move forward step by step, so every day is still full and happy. I don't feel anxious when I think about it. I asked myself again, if you give yourself two years to learn English, take your time and give yourself 20 years to realize your dreams. Come slowly, can you? The answer is yes. I suddenly relaxed the whole person. When I allowed myself to come slowly, I suddenly felt that the light strength of the down-to-earth, back to earth, returned to my own body.
Because this society is too impetuous, the rhythm is too fast, the temptation is too much, we are easy to lose ourselves, we need to ask ourselves often, is everything really too late? Can you come slowly? Allow yourself to take your time to get back on the road.
On weekends, I met with my girlfriends. Two people had not seen each other for nearly three months. After that, she decided to quit her job in Shanghai and returned to her hometown to live with her family and boyfriend.
I asked, is she afraid of a new life?
She said, why not be afraid, it is simply afraid of death.
I said, you sum up your own 2019.
She said that she had paid off her debts at home, relaxed, talked about love, and also got an accounting certificate.
I said, you see, you grow up, you really don't have to be afraid. I believe that you will live better and better.
She thought about it and nodded and said, um, nothing to fear, the most fearful days have passed.
At first, we are always afraid, afraid to not get the material life we ​​long for, afraid to meet the person who loves ourselves, fear of losing youth and not making progress in business, fearing that we will do the next one to make ourselves regret The decision is also afraid of losing the essence and simplicity of one's heart, and often regrets some things that I have done. But this way we are like this, stepping on our own fears and remorse. Gradually, we learn, grow, enrich, and become stronger in fear. We are relieved of the decision made at the beginning, and finally greet another kind of fearless future. Yourself. In fact, everyone came here like this, from fear to fear, from remorse to relief. Maybe not afraid not to regret it should be our life motto.
2, confused is no big deal <br /> What do you ask me to be confused? I can only answer, you have to accept your own confusion. Because only by accepting the status quo first, you can change the status quo. Just when I climbed the Everest, what can I do if I have an altitude sickness? I can only accept my own high reflexes and tell myself that in fact, there is no big deal with high anti-insurgency. This is a very normal phenomenon, and then I will adapt to the environment a little bit until the high anti-disappearance.
You have to tell yourself that in fact, confusion is no big deal.
A friend asked me, will you stay in Shanghai all the time? I will answer without knowing, because I feel that the future is confused, and the future is unpredictable. I have always had a lot of confusion about life. I think it is this confusion that drives me to think, to work hard and to move forward.
The modern society has changed so rapidly. The place where I was eating with friends last month is now repairing the MRT. It is a clothing store last week. It was changed to Shaxian snacks this week. The phoenix tree that has been growing for decades may suddenly disappear overnight. Was it transplanted away? ? ? There are clouds in the old sayings, thirty in the right, and not in the forty. In the face of such a rapid change, the confusion should be more, the confusion will last longer, and it is normal to be confused when I am 50. My dad is very confused and puzzled about this online ticketing. In this era, you have to be tolerant of yourself, allow yourself to be confused, allow yourself to be confused, and allow yourself to come slowly.
3. Do what you love, love what you do.

You ask me if I don't know what I want, what should I do? I will tell you, then you have to go find it. In the early 20s, it’s a very lucky thing to not know what you want, because when you have confusion, you will think and you will find what you want step by step. s things.
When you are young, you don't know what you want. It doesn't really matter. You don't have to be too anxious, but you need to know what you are interested in and what you are willing to spend your time on. When I ask a person, what you like or what you are interested in, I am most afraid to hear the "don't know" answer. If you don't even know what you are interested in, it is a bit scary. A person has no basic understanding and understanding of himself, how to know life and the world. I believe that although many people cannot be clear about their love, they will vaguely know what they are interested in.
Finding what you like to do and knowing what you love is really important. I remember that Gibbs’s speech at the graduation ceremony at Stanford University had such a passage:
"Sometimes, life will use bricks to lick your head. Don't lose faith. I know that the only thing that supports me is: I love what I do. You must find what you love. This sentence Not only for your work, but also for your love."
"Your work will constitute the bulk of your life, and the only way to get you really satisfied from your work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't stop. Like all things related to the mind, you will know when you find it. And like those good loves, it will become more and more mellow as the years grow."
If you really don't find something you like, please don't let go of any chance of trying. You can accept all kinds of challenges, try to do all kinds of things, don't take yourself too seriously, discard that vain self-esteem, don't be afraid Don't be afraid of failure, you must even allow yourself to fail often, give you the experience of the opposite failure, give yourself the courage to constantly come back again, you have to do it actively, until you find your true love inside, find yourself willing to The dream of hard work. Give yourself time, let yourself come slowly, give yourself the courage to fail and the enthusiasm for your dreams, because the hardest thing is not to face failure, but to face the failure of one after another. Enthusiasm.
4, life is not planned

You asked me how to plan my life? I can only answer and don't know. I used to be superstitious about things like "career planning" and "life planning". I feel that planning my life path early is closer to success. Later, my life experience increased, and I gradually gained some independent thinking skills. I discovered that "life planning" is completely nonsense, life is difficult to plan, and life is never planned.
When Sun Wukong came out of the stone, he would not change 72. He did not know that he would become a big apprentice of a monk named "Tang Yu" and went to the West to learn from a pig. Zhuge Kongming did not know himself when he was in the middle of Liu Bei. In the military history, he will write "The Battle of Chibi", which is like a battle with fewer wins; when Jobs dropped out of Reed College, who only spent half a year, he must not know that he would become a mobile phone called iphone. The founder of the brand does not predict that when he dies, the world's major websites will write "SteveJobs1955-2011" on the page to remember him.
Feng Tang may never have thought that he would become a global associate director of McKinsey & Company and a writer who has published several books. When he was young, he was a poet, a young literary artist. Later he read a doctor of gynecology and then went to a consulting company. Now He also made an industry. He wanted to write a novel and wrote it. If he wanted to open a company, he would open it and do all the things he wanted to do. Cai Jun may never have thought that he would become the first person in China's suspense novel writer. He just took his class and slammed the keyboard under the banyan tree. Lao Luo may never have thought that he would become a teacher who teaches English, and he will also play a long-lasting battle for rights protection with Siemens. A year and a half ago, I didn’t know that I would walk four kilometers at the foot of Mount Everest at an altitude of 5,200 meters. My heartbeat was normal and my breathing was steady. I didn’t know that I could continue running for 70 minutes and ran for 10 kilometers. Not only was I tired, but I also had a running pleasure. I don't even know that I write text in a place called "Douban", and then more than 7,000 bean friends pay attention to me; I just do what I like to do, go where I want to go, run step by step, one word Write it.
Life has never been planned, but has come out step by step. Find what you like, do it a little bit every day, and for a long time, you will see your growth.
5, your own life has passed, your own parents

You ask me how to do things that are contrary to the life of the parents, do what you like to do, love the people you like, instead of accepting the work arranged by the parents, accepting the blind date arranged by the parents? I can only say that my work is done by myself, that my own man wants to be on his own, and that his parents can do it themselves. Parents say that you are noisy, saying that when you are not reliable, you must have forgotten that they were also "unreliable" when they were young. Those who are parents may have deep experience, your experience, your lessons, your suffering, your hard work, the secrets of life you have mastered, can not be taught and passed on to your children, if you Forcible infusion will only lead to the rebellion of the child. You can only watch him fall and then climb back again, eat a loss, accept the lessons to grow the memory, hurt and bleed, wipe the blood off, and continue to walk his own life, because everyone's life They are all different, and everyone’s life is to be their own.
Liao Yimei said that it is the only way for young girls and young boys to grow up and is a compulsory course for adults. Moreover, I do not believe that there are simple, correct and easy shortcuts. There is no uncertainty about people's uncertainty, self-confusion, lack of pain, and it is difficult to be tolerant and narrow-minded for many people and things.
Everyone's life has to experience pain. Only when he has experienced pain, such a life truly belongs to you and will understand what life is.
In fact, parents are not as open-minded as we think, and they are unreasonable. The most important thing is your own attitude. You must be clear about what you want and take responsibility for all your actions. When you show your attitude, communicate well, hope to do what you want to do, and are willing to take full responsibility for your life, most of them can understand, even if you can’t accept it right away, if you persist for a long time, they will also Silently accepted, after all, no parents want their children to be unhappy, the most important thing is to do it, to work hard, let parents see your growth, believe in you. When I first graduated, my parents strongly urged me to go home or go to Guangzhou to develop a city that is a little closer to my hometown. I clearly indicated my attitude on the phone: I like Shanghai, I want to live in Shanghai, I have friends in Shanghai, you have to believe with me, I will live very well in Shanghai, from small to big, I am Make your own decisions, this time I have to make my own decisions. The parents agreed, and never asked me to go home. I think the most terrible thing is that you don’t insist that you can’t make decisions for yourself and can’t take responsibility for your own life. Then you listen to your parents’ arrangements and in turn accuse parents of controlling their lives and interfering with their freedom of life. People, because you have never fought for yourself, and blame the parents for their arrangements. For example, if you don't want to endlessly go to blind date, but you feel that your parents are right, listen to their words, go to blind date, then grievances, physical and mental exhaustion, who can you blame? I can only blame myself for not being responsible.
6, even if you can not afford the most expensive PAUL, you can afford 85 degrees C

You said that you want to marry a rich man, I will only say that you are going to marry, as long as you can marry yourself. You think that if you marry a rich person, you will be happy, then you can try it. You have tried to know what the life of the rich is like, is it as luxurious as you think? Is it the kind of life you want? For many people like me who lack the ability to think independently and do not know how to learn from the history of others, only by personally knowing what kind of life they want, even if they don’t know what kind of life they want, at least I can understand what life I don't want. Do you think that you can be happy if you marry a rich person? In fact, what you think is happiness is just the fashion standards, film and television entertainment, social customs to give you the standard of happiness, you never thought about what you really want.
In fact, if you want to marry a rich person, you can just live a good life without worrying about yourself, but can you really enjoy such a good day with peace of mind? Since these good days are given to you by others, then others can take them away at any time. When do you get a foothold? If you are really married to the giants, but you are afraid to lose such a good life all day long, you must have no sense of security in your heart, and you must be unhappy. Is such a good day a good day? I firmly believe that only if I let myself live a good life, that is the real good day.
You have to believe that in a society where you will not starve to death as long as you are willing to work hard, relying on yourself alone, you will have both love and bread. Even if you can't afford the most expensive PAUL bread, you can afford 85 degrees C bread.
7. What bundled your life?
I had a phone call with a friend today. She said that she would give her boss a raise in 2019. In fact, she just jumped to the new company for 3 months. She is going to get married because she is 27 years old and her boyfriend is still rich. However, she and her boyfriend have been in love for less than a month, maybe they have never been to bed twice; she has to learn to drive and learn French, but she also said that she does not like to learn these things. What she really likes is pets. Because this is the survival skill of today's society, she has to learn. I asked at the time, girl, are you tired?
The process of our growth is constantly being educated, being planned, and constantly accepting the process of giving standards to the outside world. Fashion magazines, media information, and social customs give you a list of happiness standards. You frame yourself in a standard square, the box above. The line is that you have to succeed in school, enter the famous university, the lower line is to make more money, buy a house to buy a car, the left frame is to marry before the age of 30, it is best to marry a rich man, to be happy, right There is a high-income and stable job in the frame. You think that you have a sense of security. You think that life is a happy life, but this is not true. I have seen many cars with cars and houses. Married people are not happy. They frame themselves in this box and only feel more confused. They have not thought about themselves. Have they not thought about what they want?
In fact, every person's life is two points and one line. In the process of death, the sense of security you desire is nothing more than hope that these two points will go smoothly, with less twists and turns, less detours. Life is a journey, the destination is the same - death. Some people's journeys are full of colorful and changing landscapes. Some people's journeys are just a layer of unchanging taste. What kind of person do you want to be?
An older elder and I said that if there is an opportunity, it will not be too late for young people to study abroad at the age of 30. It is important to experience life and experience life. I very much agree with him, but in reality, I heard many people will say that you are still studying abroad when you are 30 years old. It’s too unreliable. When you finish the book, you are older, the age of getting married, having children, and looking for a job. It is also delayed, so that your life is very painful...

Why is your thinking so stiff, what is your thinking and bound your life? In this era of information flooding, refreshing the microblogging every second, independent thinking is more important than anything else.
I have always wondered why there are so many people who count their lives like this? Life is really not counted, only one life, you need to live a true nature. Maybe I got married and gave birth to a child while I was studying? Even after reading the book, how about getting married and having children? What if I don’t marry and have children in my life? Is it not happy? Do you feel that your life needs someone to say "good" to you? Does your sense of security come from standards that are consistent with social conventions?
There is no sense of security in the world, and there are more people who think about it, and there is a false sense of false prosperity. Especially women, it is easy to be fascinated by all kinds of pseudo-security fans. Most of the time we know about things based on external information and various advertisements, lacking the ability to think and judge independently, so it is easy to habitually put a variety of stickers on ourselves. All kinds of fake security labels: There is a sense of security when you have a house. You have a sense of security when you have money. You have a sense of security when you have a stable job. It is safe to find a boyfriend who is old and solid. A sense of security, a child has a sense of security...
However, the true sense of security is not from the external material, but from the inner peace and filling, from the self-confidence and the determination of life, but to get these requires the accumulation of life experience, need to eat life I have suffered many things, experienced many things, and have seen many people, but also have my own cultivation and understanding, in order to achieve peace and dilute, not worry or fear. So, dear friends, don't worry, take your time, you will feel safe.
8, take it easy, everything is too late

Those who find their own dreams of life early and follow the fate of life are fortunate; but those who have not found the path they should take do not have to feel very painful, because everything is still too late, you have to give yourself slowly. opportunity. The old man in our country often warns young people that the meal is to be eaten bit by bit, and the road must be taken step by step.
No matter what kind of life you want, you have to work hard, you like to go after the beauty, you want to marry a rich person to find, you want to go to the gun. Only when you really have done it, do you know what you really want. Do not encounter some scum, how to distinguish good people? Do not try to misidentify a few objects to know what kind of person you are with? Don't try a few things, how do you know what you like and what doesn't suit?
Because of the experience, I understand. What to do and what kind of path to follow should follow the inner voice and explore it step by step. Fallen, climbed up; hit a head and break the blood, go backwards; walk the road, then retreat; go too fast, slow down; get lost, stop and think about it, then continue. What you have to do is not to limit your life, listen to your inner voice, follow your inner will, and slowly come, everything is in time.
If you have found your own direction, you have already worked hard, but you have not got what you want, it is not enough time, your efforts are not enough, and your growth is not enough. There is a slogan for a watch called: Only time to understand love. I think this is a slogan with a little philosophical thinking. what is love? Love is a long process, not just the moment of passion that I say to you that I love you, but the days when there are countless porridges and rice. Only time to understand love, and only time to witness growth. There is no accumulation of time, no increase in pay, no increase in quantity, you can't see yourself growing up. God will care for those who continue to work hard to persist, do not believe, you try hard for three or five years, then look back, you have already got what you want. So, dear friends, don't worry, take your time, you will see your future.
Postscript: After writing so much, I feel that I seem to be talking nonsense. There is nothing new under the sun. Some of the words in this article have been written in my other diaries. I believe many seniors have said the same thing. In the same way, I am just a sorter and porter, carrying the books I have walked through and the books I have read before you. I know that your dilemma is not solved by my own article. Everyone has a life lesson that they need to do on their own, but I still hope that this article can give you some thoughts and help.