We are all half a glass of water, don't just deny our value.

We are all half a glass of water, don't just deny our own value. I don't want to talk about self-worth. How to define yourself and how to define your own value.
In this city, there are always some people who are used to denying themselves. Full of frustration and depression. I can't see my value, it's not good, it's not good. Then envy the good of others or fantasize about an ideal state of gloom.
I used to be one of them. Struggling in Beijing, I can't find a direction, I can't find a way out, I can't find value. I received two thousand salary every month. I dare not ask anyone to eat or even eat meat easily, and I dare not talk about friends. In the face of ideals, all real life is extravagant.
What is even more frightening is that there is no ability to experience without any accumulation, and what is most difficult for them to accept is that the character is lazy and not enterprising and not working hard. For a long time, there is no sign of change. If you don’t have money, you don’t have it. Even you don’t even have a look. After a few years, you are still struggling. Then I feel that I have nothing to do, I don’t know what it means to be alive and so painful, and then use Shen Yu to comfort myself.
Only when I go home occasionally, talk to my friends, where to work, Beijing. I don't know if it is a pride or a feeling of inferiority. Only when you listen to your friends, you are not bad at that time. Only when a friend lists a lot of advantages with envious eyes, begins to reflect, why, I want to deny myself.
When I started to pay attention, I found that many people, like me, constantly deny themselves.
They deny that their reasons are the same as my path: I am still left when I am older, I can't find the object I feel like I am lonely and old; I have no talent, no appearance, no attention, I feel that this is the tragedy of life; The salary, hate that he has no ability; desperately persists but can not find the direction to lose the ideal, feel no longer the day; character laziness delays the nature, the ability is not good enough, do not advance, feel that life should be miserable. In short, the ending is the same, I feel that I am worthless, nothing, no future, no partner, no sense of living can not find the meaning of life.
But I am very curious. Since I am so bad, I have always been so bad, and what makes you live to the present and still live well. Is it true that because you are too bad, you have denied yourself. Obviously not. And Bill Gatesby, we are all too poor. Compared with Yao Ming, we are all too short. And Mary Monroe, we are really too bad. Compared with Chow Yun-fat, we are somewhat ugly. We can always find that someone has a place better than us, is it that we have to deny ourselves.
You said that they are all celebrities, and you hope to reach that point, you just want to have a normal ability. But you tell me where the boundaries are. Compared with the children who can't eat, you are too superior. Compared with the people who are seriously ill in bed, you are too healthy. Compared with the girl who is disfigured by the fire, you are too beautiful. And the uncle who is sweating on the construction site, you are too comfortable in the office.
So where is this normal or comparative standard?
In this world, there are always some aspects of people who are better than us, making us difficult. We want to be like that, but we don’t do it, then we defeat it and then deny ourselves. But do you know his pain? We envy those young and promising consultants, but we can't see that in the course of his growth, his parents divorced in their early years and suffered from vicissitudes. He just wanted to have a normal home like us. We envied the rich child who inherited the father's inheritance, but he only wanted to use all the money to exchange his father's year, envying that our parents are poor but still healthy. We envy the female leader who is in the unit, but she still can't cross the red carpet for nearly forty years. She envied us to live an ordinary but family harmony. We envy a girl with a devil's body, but she just wants to be as ordinary as we are no longer harassed by the unit leader.
Many people we envy are envious of us.
It sounds like everyone has advantages and disadvantages, everyone has a good side and a bad side. All we have to do is not to compare. We can't be the perfect person, the best in all respects. Some people are better than us in some respects, but these people also envy some of our other aspects. Envy that we don't think that they can't afford things.
Since there is no perfect person, then we just need to look at our own advantages and places to have it, and it is easy to feel the value. We are all half a glass of water, see if you see the empty part, or see the part.

We have too many resources that we ignore, so that when we often tap our own strengths or values, it is difficult to find.
We can work in Beijing, but we can't feel the value. We enjoyed the air conditioning in the office and didn't feel the value. We are healthy and healthy, but we don’t feel the value. Our parents have loved us so much that we don't feel the value. We can still fight when we are young, and we don't feel the value. We can afford to rent a house in Beijing and we don't feel the value. We can have enough to eat, we can't feel the value.
But when we change the environment, we feel the same. When we get home, bring Beijing's specialties to relatives and friends, we enjoy the envy of working in Beijing; when we go to the orphanage to provide relief, we are grateful for the happiness that parents give; when we give When the workers who decorate the house ate together, they missed the air-conditioning temperature of the unit; when we went to the hospital to visit, they were glad of their health; when we chatted with the newly-employed friends, we felt that we could get two Thousands of pieces are complacent.
It's also something that makes you feel bad, and it makes you feel good. The sense of value is a very strange thing. It is also the trait we have. Sometimes it makes us feel good and sometimes makes us feel bad, but we ourselves have not changed. Whether the environment has changed, our sense of value has changed. That is, the environment controls our sense of value.
Where is our value built on?
Many years ago, when I had not started studying psychology, I heard that happiness is determined by your neighbors. When you have something that your neighbors don't have, you will feel value and feel happiness. A sad thought, our own sense of value, is actually controlled by the environment. We build value on the environment.
Sometimes, others praise us and say that we are a lot better, we feel proud and smile. Others say that we are not good, and we have many shortcomings, we feel sad, and we are not good at all. It is often based on the judgment of others.
If you are engaged in civil servants, some people envy our work, and some people say that we are comfortable with the status quo. If we eat two plates of meat, some people say that we are wasting, and some people say that we love ourselves. If we make a lot of money, some people say that we can do it, and some people say that we have a lack of mentality. If we take a high score on the exam, some people say that we learn well, and some people say that we are nerds.
When we hear different words, the feeling is different.
Whether we want to build our own values ​​on the environment, then when we lose our environment, our sense of value comes from. Do we want to build a sense of value on others? What should we do when different people say that we are different?
Everything in us is a resource, but the angle of view is different. Some people will feel inferior because of fat, and some people will call themselves "the beauty of the Tang Dynasty", the latter is easier to attract people. Some people will resist their own incompetence and sympathy, while others will appreciate their quietness and shame, and the latter will appreciate themselves. Some people will hate that they are too stubborn to lose too many opportunities, while others appreciate their persistence.
No trait is good or bad, just the same trait in us, but we use sly adjectives to describe it. But when we restore him, he is still only the qualities we have. Being stubborn is actually insisting. To please it is actually love. Accusation is actually power. Nearly 30 years is mature beauty, and being too ordinary is safe, and defense is to protect yourself. If we fade away from comparison and judgment, it is only the trait of our body. It doesn't matter how good or bad.
We are all half a glass of water, no one will have a full cup. There are empty parts, there are also some parts. What do you see when you see it?