Look at the ability in a big place, look at the cultivation in a small place

Look at the ability in a big place, look at the cultivation in a small place, be cautious in every word and every move, whether it is an outsider or a family member.

How to get along with the closest people, this may be a question that everyone should calm down and think carefully. In the eyes of the ancients, to interact with the closest, you should remember these three points in the Book of Rites: Nothing is lost. Don't lose sight of people, don't lose face.

Not defiant, deliberate

"Do not lose enough to people" means that you should pay attention to your manners before you are a person.

“It’s difficult to see the ability in a big place, and look at the cultivation in a small place.” Whether in the family or in front of a close friend, everyone’s state of mind is the most relaxed, that is, the behavior revealed in the most natural state is the most Can reflect one's character.

Parents should play an role model in life. Children will subtly study the behaviors of their parents or elders in their growth. It is the subtle behavior in life that gives the next generation an inestimable impact. It is far more important than the sound education.

Not losing color, controlling emotions

"Do not lose color to people" means that the mood is restrained in the heart, not often exposed to the face.

In the family, especially between close family members, it is a relatively safe and inclusive environment, so it is also a way to be arrogant when dealing with a close relative. Sometimes, when I was wronged outside or under some pressure, I couldn’t vent it. I had to go to my home to vent, so I always liked it. I threw my emotions and face to my family and my confidant. I take it for granted. It should be understandable that it is necessary to be tolerant, but it often ignores the mood of the emotional bearer.

Confucius said that the most difficult thing to say about filial piety is to achieve "color is difficult". Where is the difficulty of "color difficulty"? Difficult to have a respectful heart, it is difficult to have a modest attitude. Today, we can't do everything and respectfulness, but when we treat our loved ones and our confidants, we know how to control our emotions and not lose our color.

Don't lose sight of people, think first

"Do not lose your mouth", it is said that talking and speaking should consider the feelings of the listener, know how to think in terms of empathy, and think about it later.

In the eyes of the ancients, there are four things in life that cannot be returned: the words of export, the arrow that is issued, the past, and the opportunity to ignore. Among them, the words of export are in the first place.

When people are under pressure, they often forget how to talk. In other words, in the process of emotional catharsis, the language of taunting, distortion, exaggeration, demeaning, darkness, etc. is used for close people. In the end, our pressure was released, but it caused troubles and discomfort to the listener. If the other party counterattacks the damage, the family conflict will intensify. A good atmosphere of dialogue is ruined by the moment.

The closer the relationship between people, the easier it is to be unscrupulous, the easier it is to lose temper, the more capricious and impulsive, and inadvertently cause mutual harm, however, sadly, sometimes we always want to spend Great efforts, big minds to deal with a variety of complex interpersonal relationships, but often overlook how to get along with the closest people.