Confession of a college entrance examination

Confessions of a college entrance examination girl I am not a beautiful girl, nor a lovable girl. I, ordinary, can't be ordinary. But like all girls, I have beautiful dreams. I want to realize it, but discovering that dreams are a dream, it is not a fairy tale! I have lived in this world for 19 years and have lived for 12 years. Just like all the boys and girls in the movies and novels, I should enter the ideal university and start my own good life. But this kind of thing did not happen to me, because I fell out of the college entrance examination! I don't want to blame everyone, because I know it is my own problem, I can't blame others. I can think that my dreams over the years have been so ruined, and my heart will still be a pain. Because at the same time, I also smashed the mother's dream. Although my family is not poor, but it is not rich, even the working class is not. I remember when I was a child, my father’s unit was in a downturn. In order to maintain my life, my father used the public time to sell vegetables to the market. Because of the company's sluggishness, my mother never went to work after giving birth, and only received a pitiful subsidy every month. At that time, the mother did the processing of the factory, which was to straighten the nails of the bend, and a pound of nails could earn 5 cents. I remember that I was about 3 or 4 years old, and I also felt with my mother. It’s strange to say that my mother said that I did quite well at the time. I like to live in a group. My mother also thinks that a child can't always stay at home, to reach out to his peers, and to learn. In this way, I went to kindergarten. I love to write and draw, and I write better than my peers. Since then, the adults have identified me as an embryo of college, and I think so. Although I didn't know much at the time, I knew that going to college was an enviable thing. In 1992, my mother was officially laid off. Our family is in crisis. Later, my mother began to be a salesperson in major shopping malls. My mother's sales performance is very good, very much appreciated by the boss, and is famous in the circle. I remember that some bosses went to my school to find me in order to hire a mother. I was scared that my mother almost transferred to me. My mother’s ability has also come. I can't remember what year it was. My mother was framed and no one hired her. There is a saying that as a daughter should not say: my father is not a person who can support his family, so that all the burden of life falls on his mother. Because my mother is strong! She believes that her family's life will only be better than others, and her children will be very happy. So my mother used her own money to change her home from a single order to a current one. The mother of the business again began to give herself great efforts. At that time, the market had a kind of instant noodles called “Emperor”, which was very popular because of its good quality and low price. Mom began to sell "magic goods". After doing it for a while, my mother started selling clothes again. In some markets, or to the market in Dagang. In short, I have suffered a lot in those years. My mother's body is starting to be bad.

In 1998, my father lost his job. I was in the fifth grade of Shangguo, and felt the crisis at home for the first time. Mom began to sell early in the morning, the pancake fruit. The income is very small, very few. So my mother rented a booth in the vegetable market to sell dried fruits and preserves. Later, because of some trivial matters at home, the booth was retired. Soon, Dad found a job, 570 yuan a month. But Dad not only gambled, but also drunk, fighting with his mother all day, stealing money from his family. My mother is disappointed, and I am desperate. My mother started to urinate. At that time, I swear, I will do my best to make my mother happy, at least not worry about money. But I hated my home at that time and hated my father. I said to my mother, "Mom, as long as I grow up, I will make every effort to leave this house. I don't want to stay in this house for a day." I also said to my father, "Dad, whether you become better or worse in the future, I will never let my mother live with you forever!" I studied very well at that time. At that time, I was the squad leader of the class, or the cadre of the school squad, with an enviable "three" on his arm. In order to train me, the school sent me to the best class to improve the class, and the tuition was paid out by the school. And after school from Monday to Friday, my class teacher will give me free tuition. That is the time I am most eager for my mother. At the beginning of Xiaosheng, I was sent to a key middle school. Mom said that I am the driving force of her struggle! From the middle of the country, my performance began to decline. I am a very honest child, and I am careful. The head teacher of the middle school, if there is no reason, I am not pleasing to the eye, and often insult me ​​in front of the class. I have fallen into a trough from the country’s small stars, and I can’t afford it when I’m 13 years old. My mother was angry and asked the class teacher to go to the theory. The result was that I was more insulted by her. I have been rated as "worst student" many times, and this is true. Because the teacher is like this to me, my classmates always push some bad things to me. I criticized the teacher every day. So I got a mild depression, didn't like to talk, and loved to rain in the rain. Then developed to heart disease. My grades have plummeted because of my mood, and the class teacher even looked down on me because I gave the class to Ban Rila. Our class was composed of 59 students, and my ranking was always between 38~~45. But I still study hard, so in addition to the class teacher, all the teachers who like the class especially like me. Every time my mother goes to school, the teachers praise me and say that I have great potential in learning. Of course, the class teacher does not think so. I was the first in the class to apply for the group. It is reasonable to say that the class teacher should not interfere, but she simply dragged me to graduation and did not let me enter. Later, a director of our school found her, and she barely agreed. Because she really can't tell me what big disadvantages I have. I still remember that once the class teacher went to Beijing for further study, it was the happiest time in my life in China. The academic performance was soaring, and the first 20 students in the class. But my classmates didn't believe me. The class teacher came back to study. I didn't mention me when I praised the top 20 students because she didn't believe it was my real score. I was catching up with SARS when I was taking the exam. I still remember that before the mock exam, the class teacher called my family and said to my mother: "I advise your children not to take the senior high school entrance exams. It’s in vain! There is a batch of 'split' next week and it’s better to go." My self-respect I was particularly angry. I said to her, "My child has been studying for 9 years. I can't help her to take a look at the exam paper! You can rest assured that I will spend more money and let her go to high school!" "Mom just fell off the class teacher's phone, very handsome! I am very encouraged! Because the country for three years, my mother still sells early, still hard, our family is still very poor. Dad seems to be better, looking for a job with a higher income, not drinking too much, nor gambling. But Dad’s unit does not pay monthly, so the living conditions are not good enough. Fortunately, my high school entrance examination scores are very good. I wanted to stay in the original school and continue to study in high school, but I thought about the unpleasant experience in the middle school. I gave up. My mother has found a private high school that suits my ability to learn. I have a high grade in school. Similarly, the tuition fee for this school is also very high. But I didn't get much better at this school. The academic performance is still not good, even worse, but my personality has become cheerful. At least not going to rain. When I was a sophomore, I chose to study science, but no one supported me, including my mother. Under a lot of pressure, I chose the liberal arts. It turns out that this choice is wrong. My composition is bound to be better, but if I am academic, this is very beneficial, but I am studying. My geography is very poor, history is not good, politics is general, mathematics is general, and English has basically no advantage. At the beginning of the high school, I saw how long my future was, but it was too late. Because of the physical and chemical life of the second year, the liberal arts class is different. I only have a hard scalp. I started to clear my tutor. My mother did not hesitate to pay a high amount of tutoring fees and asked me four teachers. It costs about 200 yuan a week, so it clears the tutor for a whole year. But it didn't work, I have to learn more and more bad. Moreover, since I started high school, my mom stopped selling early and started to be a babysitter. A person does a good job in several jobs and is mad at several. The story told by "Ma Dashuai" is almost the same as my mother, but what everyone sees is the hard work of this kind of work. I can't see the temper of a domestic waiter at someone else's home. The college entrance examination is over. I didn't think so much, I went out to work. Be a waitress in a restaurant. At that time, I realized how difficult it was to work for a private boss. Especially in the hotel, the waiter was dirty and tired. Therefore, most of the waiters in the hotel are foreigners. We have more than 10 waiters in the store. Only I am a local. As I work longer hours in the hotel, I am full of desire for going to school. For the first time, I feel that I am so happy to go to school. At the same time, the fact that the college entrance examination is on the list is also approaching me step by step. Until it becomes a real fact. Although I fell out of the list, I still feel unwilling in my heart, because I did not expect the serious college entrance examination to be like this. Really, sometimes I look up at the sky and feel very turbid!!! Anyway, I have to accept this fact. I don't want to repeat, because the situation next year is still more serious than this year. I admit that I don't have any competitiveness in front of the "Blue Seal Account", so I don't have to deceive myself to repeat. I feel that I am incompetent. At the same time, I am helpless now. I have no education, no strength, only a desire to make a lot of money, I want to make my mother happy. But I can't find my own future. I am so lost! Now, I still want to go to school, I want to go to college, so I can work half-time and not let my mother work too hard. But I want to give up, I want to work, because my learning ability is limited, repeat reading will not be my best choice. In high school for three years, I didn't fall in love like most high school students, but I like boys, and he likes me. We say good, we have to be together after graduation, and then we are always old. After graduation, I never contacted him or even avoided him. Because he was admitted to a very good university. I think his life will be beautiful, there will be people around him who are right for him, and that person is not me. I know that he and he are no longer a person of the world. Maybe my idea is very vulgar, but this is the truth. I just like him very much! May he be happy!