Failed because the effort is not enough

This road of life is destined to be a difficult journey. It can even be said that pain is the essence of life, and those pains that you will experience will make you feel the truth of life. Most of our so-called dreams are only the mirage in the end. Living in the present is far more valuable than talking about dreams. The plain three meals a day is far more practical than the occasional mountain treasure.

1

Yes, I have had many failures and I will face many failures in the future. Every time I fail, I remember it in my heart and chew it. I know this is my wealth. The more I fail, the more I will be down to earth. I dare not expect success, but I can only go one step at a time.

After the sister finished the middle school, she began to go out to work when she was fifteen.

My brother had a very good academic record and often won awards in some competitions. However, when the middle school rose, he did not choose high school, but chose a secondary school. My father once said to him: "Well, you have a good grade. You can go to college in a high school." However, my brother shook his head and said nothing. His eyes looked at me writing at the table. In order to get up early, he made money early and decided to learn technology and not go to college. Therefore, he chose to graduate from the middle school to study in secondary school.

I know that it's all because of me. The conditions at home don't allow us to study at the same time, so they gave me this opportunity. Parents pin their hopes on me.

When I was in high school, my parents had already started preparations. I had to pay a sum of money for me to pay tuition when I went to college. For many families, this money is nothing but a big expense for my family.

Parents called their brothers and sisters and opened a small family meeting. In order not to let me have too much pressure, all this is carried on me, so the process of the meeting is not known. As a result of the final discussion, it is really difficult to cope with the expenditure after three years with the current income. Therefore, the mother decided to go south to Guangzhou and find a job. During the period, she should save money and use what she said. money.

The mother has not received much education and does not have any technology. Under conditions like her, it is not easy to find a job with a slightly more salary. After several twists and turns, she finally found a job as a cleaner. Although the work is hard, after paying the rent and other expenses necessary for living, I can still save some money.

I have imagined many times how the mother used a rough palm to carry a piece of money soaked in sweat into the envelope, how to hold down her meager desires in front of the temptations that can improve her living conditions. She never said anything to me, always telling her family that she is doing very well in Guangzhou. How much pain she had suffered for me, and when I went to Beijing and Shanghai to work, I realized it deeply.

After the mother went to work south, she left her father to farm and take care of me at home.

The father was a silent man of the crop, and he integrated all his love into his actions. One person takes care of a field of more than ten acres, and now I need to know how much energy I need to get it.

In the third year of high school, I often felt terribly nervous when I saw the college entrance examination countdown table hanging next to the blackboard. I recited the "political history" over and over again, and the test papers piled up the entire desk. I dared not slack off. At night, other students slept. I also took a flashlight and hid in the bed. Every morning, before dawn, I have already finished washing, rushed to the classroom, read the text aloud while eating breakfast, and even took an English book in the toilet. However, no matter how hard I try, the results of each monthly test are always not satisfactory.

That year, I finally failed to get into college.

I am like the last player in the long-distance running, exhausted, how can I not catch up with the players in front. I don't understand why I have worked so hard and got the result. God knows what kind of loneliness and despair is for me. I can't touch my future life. I feel that I am suspicious of myself. I even think that my life is like this. Like most people in my hometown, I will marry my wife and children. .

But I am afraid of such a life, afraid of the life that can be seen at a glance.

After the college entrance examination, I went to Guangzhou to visit my mother. For so many years, all the work in the family is undertaken by my parents, my brother and sister. My only task is to learn. Now, I don’t know how to face my mother. I don’t know how to face the hardships and hard work of her work. I don’t know how to face her disappointment.

Seeing my mother, I blame myself. And the mother just said calmly, give yourself another chance.

After staying in Guangzhou for a month, I bought a train ticket back to my hometown and started my re-reading career.

After a year of hard work, I finally got the chance to enter an ordinary two colleges.

I have never been a talented person. I always envy those students who can be very good without hard work. But it's just envy. I don't have much time to think about the things behind this. The only thing I can do is pay more time than they do, and then take a score similar to them, and that's it.

2

After filling in the college entrance examination, my parents asked me to study finance after asking for a lot of opinions. I said that I would find a job later.

At that time, I didn't know what to fill in, and I didn't know what I would do in the future, but my interest in reading and writing articles was always hidden in my heart. So in order to realize this dream, I broke my parents' wishes and secretly filled in the volunteer column. The Chinese Department of Chinese Language and Literature.

Life can't be played in exactly the way you set. During the four years of college, all the submissions I gave to the magazine were returned, and all the entries on the Internet were also unsuccessful.

In the winter of that year, in order to participate in an essay contest, I locked myself in a rented lodge and wrote a 20,000-word novella for the entire winter vacation.

A few cold and rainy nights, a dimly lit floor lamp, a lonely and ridiculous night outside the window, only the sound of the computer keyboard and the sound of the wind blowing the leaves. I repeatedly tried to figure out the plot of the novel and the dialogue of the characters. Sometimes I wrote about it and forgot the time. I came back and found that it was four in the morning.

One month after submitting the manuscript, I received only a cold and frozen line: Your article is not suitable for publication in this magazine, thank you for your participation.

What is really cold is not a sentence without any temperature, but a desperate state of mind. I know that all my hard work is in vain, and all the efforts have no results. I thought that except for writing, I wouldn't have anything, but the reality is that I can't even write.

A month's hard work and energy is only a dozen words, this is a big blow!

I began to doubt my choice. I don't know what such persistence will eventually bring to myself. I don't know if after so many failures, I will really succeed in waiting for me in the distance. Looking at the number of instant noodles in a large box is constantly decreasing. I have read the tempering of this society. I know that not every effort can produce results. I know that all failures are simply because your efforts are not enough.

I have never been an extraordinary writer, and I don’t have the talents of Guo Jingming and Han Han, but this cannot be an excuse for me to forgive my failure. I asked myself, is this writing for me to be love or to be famous and earn money? If you are sure that writing is your hobby, then I should continue to work hard, grow up in thorns and bumps, and one day it will get better and better.

I gave myself a definitive answer, so I picked up my frustration and continued my possible failure. At this time, I am not afraid of failure. I believe that every failure of me is just the result of not being able to work hard enough. If we deliberately seek the final answer, we will be deeply trapped in it.

I remember that Pamuk once said: I write because I need to write when I am born. I write because I can't do normal work like everyone else; I write because I am eager to read the kind of books I write... I write because I can only share real life by change; I write, Because I want other people, all of us, and the whole world to know how we lived in Turkey, how we lived in Istanbul, and how we will live in the future... I write because I believe in literature and believe in the art of fiction. Far better than everything else... I write for loneliness... I write not to tell stories, but to make stories... I write because I have never been happy. I write for happiness.

The so-called interest, that is, what you like is often just the thing itself, and there is not much purpose. I write because I can get a sense of pleasure from writing, and this kind of pleasure can't be achieved by anything else, so even if no one appreciates it, I will stick to it. I don't want this desire to be bound by too much utilitarian things, even if I don't get a little return in the end.

3

When I was a freshman, I liked a girl. She was beautiful. She was very fluent in English and the article was well written. She is gentle to people, never loses her temper, and is as gentle as a little sheep. She is simply the one in my heart.

During that time, I loved her, I almost forgot myself. I have never liked a person so much since I was so old. I was in her mind almost 24 hours a day: she was together, I thought she was going to drink. Water; as soon as she smiles, I feel that even the cloudy days have turned into sunny days; she said a word to me, I have to be happy for a long time. Every day I diligently wandered around her, just to let her notice me one day. Until now, I feel that this is the most crazy lovesickness in my life.

Of course, everything is all my own one-man show.

In a year's time, I always kept a detached relationship with her. I didn't dare to confess. I always felt that I couldn't match her. I was afraid that even my friends could not do it after confession.

At a friend's birthday party, this situation has finally changed.

That night, in the snoring of the crowd, I felt very lonely. Although the friends around me are constantly making laughter, but my eyes are dangling, there is only her shadow. I sit alone in the corner, no mood to talk to anyone, just drinking a glass of wine.

Missing her thoughts hurts me. I am fed up with the pain that I can only secretly like her and dare not say it, plus the few glasses of wine I just drank, and I also gave me the courage. I was fascinated by the drunkenness and took the courage to send her a confession.

The five minutes that waited for her to return to the information was as long as a century for me. I regretted my own rashness for a while, for fear that she would reply, and would crush my expectations; I would like to hear back from her, and I feel that there is still one in ten hope. My heart is beating sharply, I don't know if it is because of strong expectations, or deep concern, or both.

The phone finally rang. There is an unread newsletter on the screen. I closed my eyes tightly and couldn’t open this message.

I turned my face to the wall. No matter what kind of expression on my face - the ecstasy after fulfilling my wish, or the pain after disappointment - I don't want to be seen by other students in the room.

I shuddered my hands and opened the message with trepidation.

I only wrote three words on the screen: Sorry.

Everything is expected!

I thought I had to show my courage and express my own voice. No matter what the ending, I have no regrets. However, when this line of words is really in front of me, I still feel that my heart has fallen into the abyss.

I sat there, and the laughter of the people around me made me feel more miserable. I don't want to move, I don't want to talk, just drink one cup after another and want to numb myself.

The next day, I took three days off on the grounds of physical discomfort. I wanted to avoid her for a while and give myself a chance to recover.

In three days, I played desperately and wanted to convince myself that there are many things in the world that can make people happy. Love is not the only thing that makes people feel happy. I am immersed in the virtual world, I want to forget this pain for my own pain. Unexpectedly, the more you want to forget, the more you remember.

So, a few days later, when I went back, the situation that I thought of leaving was not shocked and my heart stopped. I found myself too deep and not so easy to recover.

I still always think of her. When I saw the seat she liked to sit in and heard a song she liked, I would hurt myself. All of this, I could have made my heart move, and remembered her with a warm feeling. And now, I know that they have nothing to do with me like her; they are like her, no longer belong to me. She has had a position in my heart, she is gone, and that position is empty. There seems to be a black hole in my heart that constantly devours my energy, but nothing can fill it.

The only good thing is that I am no longer so entangled. I have worked hard, and even if I didn't get it, there is nothing to regret. I decided to pack my mind and continue my life. I believe that God will give me the best things.

4

This road of life is destined to be a difficult journey. Pain is the essence of life, it makes you feel the truth of life.

Many things are doomed to require talent. Maybe you can't get an "A" in a certain life, you can enjoy the happiness and happiness brought by "B" at the stage of "B". At this time, you only need to work hard in the direction of "A". This is your life's pursuit, the hope of a lifetime, the belief of a lifetime, and there is always a reason for you to live worth a lifetime. If you persist in this way, it will become less important to get the "A" in the end, because you will find that your life is full and satisfied.

The people who can become hawks are a minority of them. Most of us can't even become a bird. We may try our best to become a kite in our lifetime. We must not escape, let the wind and rain hit, and we will be restrained by a line for the rest of our lives. If you can't be an eagle in your life, you can only do kites, then you can enjoy the happiness of making kites.

Many times, the things you chase may not be available. This is not the most important thing. The most important thing is that you are still willing to pursue. If you like, even if you don't succeed in the end, you will also get a different view.

Yes, not every effort will have results, but every effort, we are growing. It is also this time and again that every bit of growth and progress can finally crown our lives.