When parents ask us to have a good time...

You must work hard to have a future!

This sentence must have been familiar to everyone.

When the parents are young, they will instill a lot of ideas and correct many of our behaviors. After the study, this task will be handed over to the school, the teacher, and the self-righteous society.

Of course, I will recognize the important position that education plays in the process of children's growth. However, many of our current education and many ideas advocated by the society fail.

Therefore, I have been skeptical about this unthinkable "you have to have a good future."

I asked the readers "When is your only child, what is your biggest worry and doubt?", I received a lot of replies, among which a considerable number of friends talked about; they are under tremendous pressure, these pressures, From the requirements of parents, the expectations of society.

These requirements, expectations, some soft, some hard, or loose or tightly wrapped around them, this pressure, commitment, from a certain point of view inhibit the child's independent choice and free development.

And I have always wanted to ask these parents: What exactly is the future? !

A pair of parents are very strict with their children. In addition to reading classics, they also need to play chess and painting. Of course, the academics can't relax at all. The test scores become a barometer on their faces. The children are overwhelmed and finally jump off the building. Parents are crying on their children: I know that you will be like this, we will not force you anything, as long as you can live, we must not ask you like this...

Rethinking these tragedies, I feel sad, we find that the parents’ demands for their parents have become: living well. They simply don't know what is going on.

In fact, there is a more acute problem. Parents who have been asking their children to have a good future: What kind of pride have you achieved so far, and what is the future?

In the eyes of the world, the "promising" is the most direct utilitarian, gaining wealth, fame, knowledge, and rights.

Since ancient times, we have liked to say: promotion and wealth, such as: financial resources, Guangzong Yaozu, fame and fortune, fame and fortune... It seems that only work decent, rich income, can give parents a long face, become a "promising" performance.

In fact, this single value and judging standard has caused many children's anxiety and pain, and you can't ask questions, otherwise you will become ignorant and unfilial.

On the other hand, many of the parents who have achieved certain "achievements" in the utilitarian society, who have gained fame and earned wealth, have less demanded that their children must go to "build a career, promote the government and make a fortune" and go face-up for them. They often encourage The child goes to do what he wants to do.

In addition to explaining that they have some insights, they also explain that although fame and fortune are good, they are far from being the mainstay of life. If this is the true meaning of life and the pursuit of life, how can those who have the right to have money be willing to let their children go? What about your own life? It is reasonable to let them pay for their money and to give their lives for the right.

So, for those parents who can't provide more convincing answers to “promising”, but keep asking their children to “have a good time”, in my opinion, this is because they don’t really experience the most important things in life. Something, it is not clear what is "promising." Their "view of interest" is a hearsay, and people are clouded. The second is to kill the face but let the child suffer. The third is to uphold the "unfinished" complex, intent to let the child "father debts back", find a saying: We are here for you.

I’ve got rid of my child’s self. Where is it? !

If we go to see the "promising" as the purpose of life, we should be clear:

Some people expect to win fame and earn wealth. Of course, this is not wrong. Some people advocate full self-examination, constant enlightenment, and have gone through an ascetic life. This is also very good. Some people expect to continue to transcend and overcome obstacles through powerful actions. , scientific, natural, and thus the pleasure of adventure, so of course there is no problem; others will think that life is full of joy, so that gold is empty to the moon, indulge in pleasure, happy, but also OK.

However, what is bad in our culture is that we only believe that a certain type of life philosophy is good, there is interest, and the rest are all "side-by-side, fallacies."

Too small to say, this will curb human development, and said that this will lead to the loss of energy and vitality in society. For example, our society is now advocating a single value, not tolerant, and lacking foresight, which will put tremendous pressure on individual psychology. Because all "different" are wrong, they should not be, then those who are born differently will be excluded, accused, and even directly injured and slaughtered.

All these "not free" and "intolerance" are concentrated, which constitutes a society that is not free, can not tolerate heresy, can not stand the opposition, self-righteous, self-righteous, eager to eradicate dissidents, like to "prun" others, can not listen to a little different Opinion, this kind of environment, will cause a lot of confused, painful people, because they have been blinded by their eyes, and then lost their way.

The prescription is to let them learn to think independently and strive to be themselves: to understand that asceticism is asceticism, that bankers are bankers, explorers are explorers, entertainers are entertainers... and everyone has to choose themselves. The freedom of life, this is the real interest.

If everyone can do their jobs, enjoy themselves, respect each other, and not interfere with each other, society will become a comfortable and livable society.

For those who are now suffering from "control" and are accused of having no interest, what I want to talk about is:

First of all, abandon all external, compelling concepts, no longer evaluate in the accident world, insist on doing what you want to do. This kind of understanding is sent from the heart, when you become able to face your heart and become Real self, you will become full of power, no longer suffer from loss, fear and fear.

Secondly, understand that nothing is “should be”. Nothing is necessary. If it is not, you will always have the freedom of choice, go or not, do or not, think or not, want or not, All of this goes through your heart and you make decisions, so you have to be responsible for yourself. No one can force you, including your parents.

The refusal will refuse, the resistance will fight, you have to learn to dominate your life.

Once again, do what you want to do. When you no longer feel that you should do it because of external forcing, or inner anxiety, when you have to, you take the initiative to choose, you remember, imagine, can’t wait, day Thinking about the night, it is bound to be what you are good at, to do this thing, believe me, even if it is not so smooth, but it will make you live like a decent, comfortable.

Finally, when you try to be a real person, you don't have to endure external persecution. The inner accusation, you will become accessible, harmonious, less and less used, and the more you love. The more you start, the more you will feel that people are living, and you will look at everything around you, others, yourself, and your parents. You will begin to understand them and find a comfortable way to fit them. The path, to communicate with them, bring them into the real world.

The more these real people, the more unchanging society will change.