Monologue of a rural girl: What is the use of college?

When I was young, the villagers called my college students because they felt that children who love reading books would definitely go to college. In their eyes, there are only two universities in China, one is Tsinghua and the other is Peking University. This is a good thing and a bad thing. The good thing is that for a long time, the picture of the cow on the hillside under the arm of my arm is relished by the villagers, and it is widely used as a blueprint to educate my children. I have already enjoyed the glory of the exam without even taking the test.

The bad thing is that after a few years, although I was admitted to the university, it is not Tsinghua, nor is it Peking University, or even the focus. This incident has failed the expectations of our entire village, because in their eyes, there are only two universities in China, one is called Tsinghua, the other is Peking University, and the others are the same as the ones that have not been tested.

When the first college entrance examination fell, I tore the book and went out to work. At that time, some of the girls in our village who went out to work were rich, and they built up the buildings. Only one girl in the village was studying, and only a few people in my house were still crowded in small and broken houses.捡 wear the rest of others.

I am not willing, I can't bear it. My mother didn't bother to persuade me, just said faintly, you see that when they came back from work, they were glamorous, and they couldn't see how much hard people were suffering outside. They didn't have culture, they all did the work of the assembly line, and they were young. Eyes must be paralyzed. Girls have been so young for so many years, when they are older, they are coming back to find someone to marry, and this is the case for a lifetime.

If you want to be like this for a lifetime, you will go, I will not stop you.

I know what it is like for a lifetime, a friend of the best in childhood, a very beautiful girl. Let's go to school together and make an appointment to study the same university. She has a good grade and is willing to study. However, she does not want her parents to drop out of school. A few years later, I went back to my hometown. She was married as a woman. She was breast-feeding on the mahjong table, and she was laughing at the men around her. She is not the gentle and meticulous girl in my memory, but a common peasant woman in this village. We looked at each other that day, and each other’s eyes had a sly look. She smiled at me and licked her clothes, then went back and touched the cards.

I went to repeat because I was not willing. Not willing to live in a village for a lifetime, forgotten by time. There are towns outside this village, and there are rivers outside the mountains. I want to see the rivers and towns outside, the land and the crowd, I want to decide my own pace and speed. Everything in life should be chosen by myself, not forced to make a living.

Then I went to the north.

In September 2019, I dragged my luggage to Anshan and dreamed for four years.

In October, I found the first part-time job in life, and the recruitment notice posted at the entrance of the library. I watched the phone and the other party said that I was embarrassed to have found someone. Hanging up the phone, I am not willing to give her a newsletter, my sister, not to interfere with your decision, but in case, if there is an accident, please consider me. Later, I really got the job and gave a little girl an English teacher for four years.

Recalling the four years, I joined the student union to participate in various activities and competitions, and found more part-time jobs. The life was filled up, like a plant that had just been transplanted, trying to make every root deep. Deep into the mud, with desperate paranoia and courage, want to stand up with your own strength.

Slowly, you can stand up, you can stand firm, you can achieve good results in your favorite field, you can make a lot of like-minded friends, you can have a lot of time, do whatever you want, After experiencing a feeling of failure, I met Mr. Zhang.

My four-year college, really, is wonderful.

I have always felt that even in the eyes of others, it is nothing, but I know that I have lived hard. Everything is deeply engraved in life, and is made into a monument, which is enough to warm the glory of a lifetime.

The story is here, do you think that the next step is the bloody inspiration of the rebellion?

Sorry to disappoint you.

In June of 2019, I dragged my suitcase to Dalian, lived in a 5 square meter cubicle, internship in a pothole early education company, doing marketing and planning activities to do translations, making fools and female bosses to do fools on a whim. Copywriting, work overtime every day until 9:30 in the night, two months later I left, to Ted to be the front desk.

I haven't figured out why I was chosen because I know clearly that my looks are difficult to convince. Fortunately, Ted's front desk is not to cultivate vases, to do a lot of administrative affairs, and there are many opportunities for transfer. I told myself, then I would sink my heart and start with trivial things, starting with the delivery of tea.

I think it is ironic when I think of it. When I was not willing to repeat it in 2008, my mom discussed with me that I wanted to arrange for me to work in the postal service. I said to her that I didn’t want to distribute newspaper letters every day for a month. Earn some money. I didn't expect this sentence to become a slogan six years later. For half a year, most of my daily work is to distribute newspapers and letters, and earn a little money in a month, barely make ends meet.

Life, sometimes it’s weird. You think that you’re wearing a pair of teeth and you’re not afraid of it. The world will give you a way, but fate just smiles scornfully, and a slap can make you fan the floor. Rolling, reshaping the world view.

In June of 2019, it was a full year of graduation. Worked in Ted for 9 months and was in contact with people of all shapes and sizes. The university has not taught me how to get along with the leaders, get along with my colleagues, and have never taught me. When doing a job, in addition to the task itself, what should be considered. I sometimes think too much, sometimes I don't think enough, I can't always grasp the degree accurately. I seem to have changed back to a child who can't talk. Every word that blurted out is wrong, so I have to choose silence.

I didn't choose English-related majors after graduating from college. The accumulation of four years slowly began to become embarrassing, and I am not sure if I want to pick it up again, or just forget it. Too many thoughts, too much, too much trifles, many times when watching the passage of time in a meaningless trivial, but powerless.

I suddenly questioned the value of all work, and it seems that everything is wasted. I thought I could refine my time into a pure clock, but I clearly saw too much impurities inside. Maybe it is, there is nothing to be perfect, let alone life. The book seems to teach me everything, but I don't seem to learn anything.

I moved to a maritime university that is closer to the company, and I have to pay half of my monthly salary to pay the rent. There are also small pieces of manuscript fees coming in, but not much. Dreams become something that is out of reach. How to make more money and get out of the rent in the next quarter in advance is the actual problem to be solved.

Originally thought that the salary of 2000 for a month has been low, but when I went out, I found that the original 1500 is also everywhere. The world is suddenly full of college students, and dreams are as cheap as college students. I did not rely on the profession to find a job in the tall, but became a white-collar worker in this world. Sometimes I will remember that I was not reconciled. Sometimes I suddenly think of everyone in Tiannanhaibei. I want to ask, is your life like this? However, I just got tired after I graduated. How can I live a long life?

So, here, do you think this is a useless slogan that is useless in college?

Sorry, you have to be disappointed again.

More often, I said to myself, don't worry, take your time and think about the way out. No matter how low the salary is, I insist on buying books every month, insist on writing, keep thinking, remind me from time to time, don't follow the tide, don't be numb by the seemingly comfortable life, don't become the person I once hated the most. Maybe I still can't live the life I have thought of, but at least I have the ability to avoid the days I don't want to.

Today, I am grateful for the life of the four-year ivory tower. The utilitarian point is that the four years of college allowed me to complete the various dimensions of life at the lowest cost. I worked part-time for four years and I earned most of my living expenses. Even able to buy some slightly expensive clothes, can go to some slightly better places to eat, can not grieve others and do not grievances to maintain a normal social, three-year activities, met many like-minded friends, they The simple adherence to the dream makes me feel that people are alive and very interesting. More importantly, the university made me know Mr. Zhang and made me a good luck in my life.

Maybe if I didn't go to college, I chose to go out to work with the girl in the same village. Maybe I have a different life now. Maybe I have married a small classmate in a neighboring village. I have a bear child who can make soy sauce. Maybe I can earn more than I have now, I have exchanged money for youth and blood and sweat, and I have exchanged three bright and spacious large tile houses in my house. I also have a group of pigs in the yard; maybe I can get closer to home. When the mother is sick, I can go back to take care of her the first time, instead of only taking her medicine and taking injections on the phone; maybe there are too many, maybe every deviation has gone to countless possibilities, and too much The assumptions and possibilities are not enough to clearly outline another version of life.

There are too many choices in life. Every time I finish one, I feel that I have lost too much. It is only the pros and cons of this. How can I calculate the difference between the two places before making a choice? People's nature is to avoid disadvantages, but how can there be a life in this world?

University is just one of your many choices, it can't decide anyone's life. It’s not that you went to college or college, you will have any qualitative changes in four years. But in your most savage and brave youth years, it opens the door to an unknown world. Here, you don't have to shoulder the burden of raising a family, and you don't have to learn adult calculations too early. It allows you to stand on the edge of the world and experience young, knowledge, courage, hard work, friends, and so on. Bring the good.

Let you really step into the lonely and desolate world of life, you can use your original memory to light yourself.

Because you know that those beautiful things can't be met anymore, so you can wipe your tears, squat your heart, and fix your armor and sharpen your sword.

Ready to start to enter the adult world.