My postgraduate road: believe in yourself, never give up

My postgraduate road: Believe in yourself, never give up <br /> text / Wang Jiangtao
In 1996, I worked in a government agency. I was treated well and could be divided into rooms. However, I could not adapt to the life of the institution and decided to take a postgraduate degree. At that time, I carefully considered my actual situation, and my life was free and unsuitable for the company. I like to be a university teacher. Since I was admired from Peking University since childhood, I loved classical literature since I was a child. I decided to apply for the classical literature major of the Chinese Department of Peking University, specializing in the direction of literature in the Wei, Jin and Tang Dynasties, and later strive to stay in school. At that time, I didn't care. I was a cross-city, cross-school, and cross-professional postgraduate exam, which was extremely difficult.
In September 1996, I made a special trip to Peking University to consult the postgraduate information. The Chinese Department only provides professional reference books, no annual examination papers, and no contact information for tutors. It is very depressed. I have witnessed the students from all over the country going to the Chinese Department and determined to take the postgraduate examination. The pressure is not small. After all, they are only personal interests and have never learned professionally. Fortunately, a high school student graduated from the Chinese Department of Peking University, so he found the Chinese-style graduate dormitory to find acquaintances. It happened that my classmates’ friends were studying in the Chinese department and learned a lot about the situation. They are preparing to apply for Mr. Qian Zhixi’s master’s degree. Mr. Qian is a disciple of Professor Ge Xiaoyin. Professor Yuan Xingyu’s re-transmission disciple has long been admired. Stay overnight in a friend's dormitory.
The next morning, I saw a Peking University newspaper in my friend’s dormitory. There was a message on it that caused me great interest: In September 1996, the first religious department in China, Peking University’s Department of Religious Studies, was established. ! The spirit is a vibration. At that time, the interest in religion was greater than literature. I felt that my destiny was calling me. After careful consideration, he decided to transfer to the Department of Religious Studies at Peking University. Fortunately, I have no interest in promoting a fortune from a young age. After graduating from a master's degree, I went to the United States to study Bo, and then I will fight back to teach at Peking University.
Immediately went to the Department of Religious Studies to understand the relevant situation, at that time to test five: English, politics, Marxist philosophy, Chinese and Western philosophy history and religious principles. Since the undergraduate study English, it is not necessary to review English. It is difficult to be in a professional class and has never been exposed. The Department of Religious Studies at Peking University is a major in the Department of Philosophy. In 1996, it was independent and in fact belonged to the Department of Philosophy. In the country, religious studies have traditionally been studied as a branch of philosophy, while in foreign countries, religious studies and philosophical chambers have resisted courtesy. I have always believed that religion is similar to literature and art, and it pays attention to sensibility and intuition. Philosophy is similar to science, and it is rational and logical. The two are very different. The professional course of religious studies is mainly based on philosophy, not my long term, but also a major difficulty.
According to the bibliography published in the department, I ran all over Beijing's major bookstores and finally bought all the necessary books, including Mr. Zhao Guangwu's "Dialectical Materialism and Historical Materialism", Peking University's Chinese Philosophy Department, "The History of Chinese Philosophy", Nankai The university's "General History of Western Philosophy" and Mr. Lu Daji's "General Theory of Religion" have more than ten books.
Due to the on-the-job examination, the work is very busy and can only be reviewed in my spare time. It was not until December 1996 that I really started a comprehensive review. Every night I went back to the dormitory and took the night fight. It was very hard. I felt that this philosopher was really sick and I couldn’t wait to die. Due to the low IQ, I still don't know why. At the time of the exam, the professional class reference book was not seen in half. With a score of 500, I scored 254 points. Only after the English was over, the other four doors were all hanged. The average number of professional courses was 30 to 40. It was very tragic. In the first year, the postgraduate examination ended in a big defeat.
The postgraduate examination failed, and the unit also knew. At that time, the localities were streamlining the organization. Since I have the highest academic qualifications in the unit and the most professional counterparts, I am sure that it will not be me. There are many old comrades in the unit, and I am going to retire. I think someone will retire early. One day, the leader asked me to talk and asked if I knew I wanted to streamline the organization. I naturally know. The leader told me that our unit has only one indicator. I curiously asked who it was, and the leader said seriously: "It is you." At that time, it felt like a thunder. I question why the leader is me? The leader said: "Because your work attitude is not correct, you have to take a postgraduate degree." I have nothing to say, because I don't like the work of the organs, I often read some leisure books like "Tai Ping Guang Ji" in the class, and also put the British writers. Lawrence’s banned book, Lady Chatterley’s Lover, translated a third, and later felt that the publication was unlikely and all destroyed.
At that time, I decided to take a postgraduate entrance examination. I didn't want to spend a lifetime in the office. I asked the unit for a half-year vacation and went home to review. The unit allowed me to pay a review, but told me that if I couldn’t take the test again next year, my work would be gone. My parents and I are under a lot of pressure. I just graduated from college and found a job that is still alive. I don’t see it anymore. I didn’t have much confidence in the postgraduate study. Fortunately, the parents are very open and have not shown.
In July 1997, I returned to my parents again and faced the second "high school entrance examination." The review from July to September is OK, and unfortunately, the September issue has arisen. Since my parents thought that I was very hard, I ordered milk supplements every day. I have been suffering from a small family and have not had milk. I wake up every morning. I usually don't eat breakfast. I drink a pound of milk on an empty stomach and occasionally eat an egg. When I drink it in September, my stomach starts to get sick. Every day, my stomach rises, my food is completely indigestible, and I can't eat it every day.
I and my family are very anxious, went to a lot of hospitals, and ate stomach, Ma Dinglin, various stomach medicines, the effect is very small. Because of the small amount of food, the nutrients are supplemented by milk every day. While drinking milk, taking medicine, the review effect is very poor. Because I can't eat, my brain is empty, I can only study for a short four hours a day, two in the morning, two in the afternoon, and I can only watch TV at night. Many postgraduate students may envy my happy life, but I was more painful to watch TV than to study. Until May, after the end of the postgraduate study in 1998, I accidentally saw a message in a newspaper: Many Orientals, especially Chinese, lack an enzyme in their stomachs, so some people are not suitable for drinking milk and can drink yogurt. At that time, I suddenly realized that when I quit milk, my stomach slowly improved, but it was too late. Sometimes, a trivial little thing may ruin the postgraduate career, and I am deeply touched.
I spent the great mental stress and discomfort in September 1997 until the exam. At that time, I thought that the exercise was not enough, so I walked twice in the morning and evening. Putting on the headphones, squatting on the confused streets, watching the bustling traffic, only I am deeply trapped in a lonely world. I don't know what kind of ending I will face next year, and I don't know where my future is.
After half a year of review, the reference book has finally been basically read. In March 1998, the results of the postgraduate examinations were down, with 315 points, out of 500 points. I remember that the passing line of the passing line was 310 points and passed. Unfortunately, politics only scored 49 points, while the single pass line scored 51 points. I immediately ran to Peking University Graduate School and spent 10 yuan to submit a political class application form. As a result, God helped me and even found two points. Politics became 51 points and finally passed! At that time, the Peking University Department of Religious Studies only accepted one master's degree student, and more than 20 people from all over the country applied for the exam. Only one person crossed the line. Call the school and get good news: I was accepted! Wait for the retest notice! Good news told the family that the parents were also very happy and the unit began to prepare for my departure.
The embarrassing thing is that until April, there will be no news after the retest notice. I hurriedly called the school and told me that I could not accept it. I was busy asking the reason, saying that I was a Western philosophical major with the journal. I took 345 points and was not admitted. So I transferred to the major of religion, and the total score is higher than me. I can’t go public, I can only read the tuition or commission, tuition. Twenty-eight thousand, there is no living expenses, accommodation is self-care, a total of about 50,000.
I contacted all major universities in the country for religious studies. Most schools such as the National People's Congress, Fudan University, Nanjing, and Zhongshan have already been filled. Only Sichuan University and the Shanghai Academy of Social Sciences are interested in me. Later, due to various reasons, Sichuan University failed to do so, and Shanghai needed to pay a fee of one thousand eight. After comprehensive measurement, I finally chose Peking University, spent 40,000 yuan of work for four years in Peking University, and borrowed 10,000 from home. But I don't regret it. If God gives me another chance, I will choose Peking University. I personally feel that campus edification is more profound than the specific profession.
When I was in the postgraduate entrance examination, Yu Quan just released the first album "The Most Beautiful", and the tape accompanied me through the darkest postgraduate years. Finally, give the "Love yourself" to my brothers and sisters who are as confused and painful as I was in the past: "When the most lonely, there will be no one to accompany you; when the most sad, no one will care for you. Only you, you have experienced some must-have experiences; you can answer some of the problems in your life only by yourself."
trust yourself! never give up!