Ai Lun: What do I talk about when I talk about yoga?

For a while, I was thinking about practicing Ashtango Yoga. Just across the street from my apartment, there was a well-respected Astor Yoga Studio, which was practiced every morning. This kind of time and place, want to come is necessarily the beginning of good practice.

But unfortunately, my practice died halfway through the practice in less than a week. In the middle, of course, there are reasons for getting up early, but the biggest obstacle that prevents me from continuing to practice is the murderous gas field in that classroom. It’s probably a bit alarmist to say that murderousness is overwhelming, but the seriousness and seriousness of the practice in this classroom is really enough for beginners who are just beginning to get in touch with Ashtango. The power of shock.

When I struggled to touch the top of my head in the action of the two-legged C, others could easily touch the ground with both hands. My headstand needs to be swayed against the wall, while others But you can gracefully jump from standing to handstand. Not to mention the contrast between the bulky sound that I made when I jumped back and forth before each jump and the light figure of others.

In each class, I can only finish half of the first sequence, and then quietly pack the yoga mat out of the classroom while other students are fascinating with a variety of strange actions. At this time, I always have the feeling of not being able to accidentally enter other people's sites. It seems that there are countless contempt eyes behind me.

This kind of pressure has made me finally give up the practice in this classroom.

I talked to my yoga teacher about this short practice. I said that the pressure to practice with the people is too great, I can not bear the gaze of others.

She is also an exerciser of Astor. She said that Ashtango is a relatively serious exercise. In fact, everyone is paying attention to themselves while practicing. Especially people, they will be more focused on their own practice, and will not be distracted during practice to observe other people's exercises, and even make comments.

And the gaze of others that I think is just my own imaginary situation. In fact, others are in their own practice, who would care about me?

Then she shared her own experience. She said that as a yoga teacher, she rarely used to demonstrate handstands in the classroom, and she did not try to practice together in many people's classrooms. At that time, her handstand had not reached a very stable stage, and occasionally turned over. Of course, even if you turn over, you can still make a back bend, not a situation of irresistible slamming to the ground. Her hesitation is not afraid of the failure of the action itself, but the fear of others' perception of her after the failure, whether it will question her practice and teaching.

She said that one time she somehow demonstrated a handstand in the classroom and then accidentally turned it into a wheel. But it seems that this mistake was not as terrible as she imagined. Even if it is a mistake, it can still bring useful things to the students, such as how to safely quit when the handstand is out of balance. For example, even the teacher will make mistakes. This is to practice such a positive message. She smiled and said that in fact, others are very tolerant. The thoughts of others that you think are often the limits that you set yourself.

Later, I met my classmates at the entrance of the yoga studio. One said, it seems that I have not seen you recently.

I am a little shy to say that the gap with you is too big, I am sorry to come.

She was shocked to say, how could this? This classmate can easily walk in and out of this pose every time I am dying to do the wheel. Every time I had a sense of powerlessness at that time, I thought about how she would look at the clumsy and stiff practitioner next to her.

Perhaps we all wish to magnify the views of others. Perhaps we think that others are staring at us with intent. And that view and gaze, like an invisible cage, binds our actions and thoughts. But the truth is that others don't care about you that much. The eyes and opinions of others you think are just your own judgments and projections. You zoom in on your fears and then hide in the huge shadows.

Sometimes you feel that your voice is not good enough and you don't dare to sing in KTV. It doesn't matter if you hear other people's ruins. Sometimes you cut a failed haircut and feel that you are almost faceless. When you meet an acquaintance, others are understatement and cut your hair. Sometimes you fell on the road and saw a big head and was seen. I felt that such a stupid thing should be faced, but the passers-by were probably not familiar with the quality of helping you.

There are inevitably various failures and ugly moments in life, and the development of social media gives us an illusion that such failures and ugliness will spread widely and be ridiculed by everyone, and there will never be a day of turning around. But the truth is that even if people who are irrelevant are ridiculed, this situation will only last for a short period of time. No matter how stupid you are, you can't take the attention of others for a long time.

More importantly, what kind of material impact does these people's ridicule have on you? It may be just a completely unconscious discourse, a commentary about people, he may not know you, or he knows you but is not clear about things. Cause and effect. And because of the fear of such comments, we have chosen to stay behind.

A few years ago, the Winter Olympics, Guan Yingshan had a major mistake. The medals are naturally gone. The next day's newspapers and major websites published photos of those embarrassing falls. Even if I once completed the difficult movements one after another, and stood gracefully on the podium again and again, now I have to face the picture of the failure of the tv on the TV. She still said calmly, very Unfortunately, but this is life.

Compared to the scenes of thousands of spectators with the expectations of countless people facing the ground, these little shackles are nothing. Mature athletes have probably trained such a calm, no matter how many people are watching you, no matter whether they succeed or fail, there is no other person's eyes. You are in your own life after all.

We dare not do things different from ordinary people because we are afraid of others' eyes. We dare not challenge ourselves and do what we want to do. However, where are these other people? This gaze stems from our own judgments about ourselves, our self-respect, our competitive heart, our recognition and desire for mainstream values, our fear and rejection of failure and backwardness. In fact, where are the eyes of others?