Yu Minhong's inspirational speech: It is not just studying abroad to decide the success of children.

——Yu Minhong's speech on May 26, 2019 at the Inner Mongolia Hotel “Learning Forum for Studying Abroad”

good morning guys!

The theme of this morning is studying abroad, but my theme is not just studying abroad. Because I always think that studying abroad is only a stage of life's progress. If people want to succeed in their whole life, they don't necessarily depend on studying abroad. Studying abroad only increases the chances that your child may succeed. Being a complete person is more important than studying abroad.

First of all, from the perspective of people, the idea of ​​educating children is actually to train him to become a sound person. What is the concept of a sound person? First of all, his psychology is particularly healthy. If you encounter difficulties and encounter setbacks, you will not be discouraged; if you encounter difficulties in life, you will be desperate, or you will be willing to struggle; always have a broad mind and personality. More cheerful, always able to maintain a positive and optimistic spirit, this is the most important sign of sound. Every parent here does not want their children to be narrow-minded. Although many of our parents are narrow-minded, we definitely don't want our children to have depression, and there is no tolerance for anything. If a child loves life, loves life, and of course loves work and study, it will make this child happy and contented for a lifetime. If you send a child to a prestigious university to study, and finally feel unhappy and have depression, then I suggest you still choose to keep your child in the country. Therefore, the cultivation of children must be based on a sound personality, with positive and cheerful lines.

The child's growth is closely related to the parents. For example, how to encourage him when the child's grades are poor, how to communicate with him when the child is doing something wrong instead of hitting him? Now, our parents can use the method of insulting personality. To educate children, for example, the parent general will say that the child next door is ranked fifth, how are you the twenty-fifth? This is the blow to the child, it is the wrong approach. There is also an unreasonable request for the child. For example, if a child can get into a general university, you must let the child take the test of Peking University. This is not appropriate. As long as you can see that your child is working hard and the child is working hard, what is the result of the effort, you do not have to set a standard for the child, this standard will put tremendous pressure on the child. Don't look at the child's usual confrontation with you, and don't look at the words you usually can't listen to. In fact, the child's request to the child is especially concerned with the child, no matter how he usually confronts you. Sometimes a word that we accidentally say will put tremendous pressure on our children. For example, if you inadvertently say that Peking University is quite good, your child will be nervous for several days, because you seem to tell him that Peking University is the school he must go to. Your child will have a lot of thoughts during adolescence, so as long as you see him studying hard, you don't have to say anything. The wise move is to let him feel happy and have a good meal. That's enough.

In addition to mental health, the second element is to ensure the child's moral correctness. The so-called correctness is that a child cannot be a person without ethics. The prerequisite for his active and cheerful is that he is a good person. For example, we need to develop a child's ability to help others. If this ability can be cultivated, then the child will not suffer much in his life. If he has such a ability to actively help his classmates, as a child, Respecting the old and loving the young, the child will not be alone for a lifetime. Why? As long as he encounters something, his friends around will come out to help; he is very good to the people around him, and everyone around him will be very good to him. Because the relationship between people is a mirror, including the adults we are here, if you find that people around you have been unable to go with you, calm down and think that you actually can't get along with the people around you. Is there anyone in the world who will never go with you? There must be. As far as I am concerned, I am already very helpful to others. I am already very good at paying attention to the needs of others, otherwise I will not make New Oriental so big. Even so, I have encountered six or seven people in my life who are dead with you. You don't care how good you are. If you come across someone who has a psychological problem or is mentally dark, there is no way at all. In this world, we are not afraid of criminals, and we are afraid of villains. Small people are certain, but such a small person will not exceed 1% compared with the group you know. If you encounter such a villain, you should never think of the villain to learn, and finally turn yourself into a villain. At the university, there are six people in a dormitory. If four people are very good with you, only one person is facing you. It may indicate that the problem is not with you. It is the problem of that person; but if there are three people in a dormitory, three of them are You are not good, two people are good with you, that means you have a problem. Because, there will never be a situation in which three small people appear in a dormitory at the same time, and China is not a country that achieves villain. So, at work, on other occasions, if you find people who are facing you everywhere, then you must think about it in reverse, you must have a problem.

How should we educate our children? You must let him get along with most of the people around you. After I founded New Oriental, college students came to help me, and middle school students came to help me because they felt that they would not suffer from me. In fact, the one who does not suffer the most is me. Recently, a film entitled "China Partner" was filmed in the background of New Oriental. It is about the story of the development of friends and partners. When you are willing to serve others, the popularity around you will rise. There is any dilemma around me, it will not be my own independent support, there must be friends to help me. So the second element I said is that character morality must be good. In "truth, goodness, beauty", the word "good" is the most important. This is the second element in cultivating your child's growth.

The third element of a child's growth is that we have to pay attention to what he is learning. It is important to emphasize that you have to look through long-term observations to find out what the child likes. I met many parents who forced their children to learn what they thought was important. Like the law taught by New Oriental Hu Nan, the children want to go to school if they like the law. Don't think that the law school has cultivated many successful talents and think that the law school is good for your children. I graduated from the English Department and there is nothing wrong with learning English. The point is to see if your child likes it or not, not whether the parent likes it. I have met a parent who knows that children like to study literature. Parents say that they have no interest in learning literature and forced their children to learn computers. In the third semester, the child wants to vomit when he sees the computer. Finally, the child came to me, I called the child and the parents, and had deep communication with the parents. Finally, the child was transferred to the literature department, and the child was happy. If the child's future is arranged according to the parents' wishes, the child does not like the parent's arrangement, and the parents will harm the child.

There are too many such situations. Many parents ask their children to go to school, study finance, study law, learn a job that is very good at finding a job or make a lot of money, and don't pay attention to what the child likes most. Children like to paint. You let your child go to science, then you may have wiped out one of the greatest painters. Although the painter may rarely be able to make a fortune, such as Van Gogh, a painting can't be sold until he dies, but now Van Gogh's paintings are tens of millions of dollars per painting, leaving a copy of the world. Great cultural heritage. Therefore, it is necessary to cater to the children's hobbies. But this hobby needs to be regulated, and it is a positive hobby. If your child hits the motor every day and has internet addiction, it can't be called a child's hobby. If your child's hobby is talking about a girlfriend, talking about ten, but also talking about the eleventh, this is not normal, there must be psychological problems. Right? If you find that your child's hobby is correct, don't ruin it; if you find that your child's behavior is wrong, patiently communicate with the child and help correct it. The most important task for parents is to cultivate children's respect for the rules. Parents and children agree on what to do and what not to do. As long as the parents are unshakable about the question "what to do and what not to do," the child will basically respect the parents' opinions.

There are three decisive factors for a person to want to do things: will, ability, and resources, and this will play the most important role. Why did I take the three-year joint entrance exam and finally I was admitted to Peking University? It was a strong will. I don't think I was capable at the time. I don't think I have any resources at the time, but I have a strong desire: I have to leave the countryside. Therefore, I was not reconciled to the one-year test. I was not reconciled after two years of examination. I was admitted in the third year. Willingness is the most important, and willingness can bring the ability out. On the issue of going abroad, the child must have a strong willingness to go abroad to study. When the child's will is strong, the child's ability to learn English will naturally come out. Because English is not so difficult to learn, English is not a knowledge, knowledge is to use the brain to think, English is a tool, as long as repeated training, you can go up, it does not need brain thinking. Do you think it is difficult to learn Chinese? It is not difficult to learn Chinese. Only when you study Chinese literature to the Chinese Department of Writing, you will find it difficult to speak Chinese. Why? Because this time you need to use language to express profound thoughts and independent thoughts. However, as a daily communication language, do you find it difficult? It is not difficult. Because language learning has nothing to do with a person's IQ, learning a language only requires repeated practice. My language talent is actually not strong, my imitation ability is not strong, but I also learn English well, repeat it repeatedly, practice constantly, and repeat the recording machine hundreds of times every day.

For studying abroad, resources are a very real thing, because the most important resource is money. Nowadays, foreign universities donate a lot of scholarships to Chinese students, most of which are self-funded, so there must be sufficient fees for studying abroad. ready. The most important resource in China is the network. If you know someone, you can do things. But in a foreign university, it doesn't matter if you don't know people, because foreign universities don't know anyone. I know a lot of university presidents, but it doesn't necessarily work for me to write a recommendation letter for my child. Admission to students at foreign universities depends entirely on your strength. In addition, I do not advocate that parents must send their children to the top universities in the United States. It’s great to be able to go to the top universities in the United States, but as long as the children can enter the top 150 universities in the United States, I think it’s amazing. Thousands of universities in the United States, the top 150 have already been ranked very high in the world. The key is whether the child's major is a profession that you like.

Parents are also advised not to help their children make fakes, fake transcripts, and fake experiences in order to get their children into college. What the Americans can't tolerate is fraud. Some students were sent back by American universities because high school transcripts were discovered. New Oriental has its own high school. Two students failed the exam results. Parents came to me and asked me to help me change my grades. I firmly refused to change, let the parents tell the other reason why the college students failed, and let the children truly show up to others. before. Finally, both children were admitted to American universities. American universities like your honesty and sincerity. We and the American university said that you can't negate the child because the child fails one or two courses. Because one or two courses fail to pass the exam, you will not be admitted. This indicates that your university's values ​​are problematic, and you don't pay attention to talents and only pay attention to the scores. Of course, if your child does not pass the homework, it means that your child really does not like to study, so don't move the idea of ​​sending the child abroad, otherwise it will kill the child.

My speech today is here. I hope that we can work together with our parents and work together to make our children's future better and make their children's character better.

thank you all!