The secretary is a man: how to get along with people of different temperaments

In life, there is a phenomenon: because of different temperament, it leads to "unsocial", "acute" people and "tired" people are difficult to join together, "fast people fast" and "old-heavy" people can not get together, "literally and polite" It is difficult for people with the "Dragon and Tiger" to get together. This is a disadvantage to life, work and communication. So, how can we “combine” people with different temperaments?
First, to establish the concept of equality The so-called "community" is to maintain equal exchanges and get along with others through psychological compatibility, which is commonly referred to as "coming together." Therefore, in order to "combine" with people, we must first be able to wait for people and not have a hierarchy. If you feel that they are vulgar, lacking in cultivation, low in cultural level, despising them, and not contacting them at any occasion, this is the unequal mentality that will only lead to mutual separation and opposition. In fact, a person who looks down on others will certainly be looked down upon and even cast aside. Therefore, when you don't like the lifestyle or habits of others, it is best to respect them and treat each other as equals. Don't despise them. Don't think that you have a decent relationship with people who are lower than your own. In fact, "the turn of the cloth" is the most intimate and reliable, and it is also the most beneficial to you.
Second, to learn from the other side Austrian famous psychologist Alf Adler once said: "People who are not interested in others, he has the most difficulties in his life, and the greatest harm to others." This is the case, A person you are not interested in will not "follow" with him. Because being uninterested will lead to emotional alienation. Once the feelings are alienated, there will be gaps. If there is a gap, it will become out of place. This will make you more and more isolated. You will lose the care and help of others and become an irrelevant. An important lonely man. Therefore, to get rid of loneliness and to "combine" with others, we must learn to be interested in people sincerely, and to show great enthusiasm and concern for others from some life sections. For example, pay attention to observe each other's life and work, see if there is any need for help; remember each other's birthday, and then say "Happy birthday to you"; the other party's work has achieved results or has been promoted, do not I forgot to say "Congratulations"; the other party encountered a dissatisfied thing or a natural disaster, to show comfort and so on. In this way, in frequent contact, it will enhance understanding and enhance compatibility. The other party will also feel that you always put him in the heart and feel grateful to you, and take the initiative to contact you.
Third, to show tolerance to people, "Confucius Family" said: "There is no fish in the water to the Qing, and there is no one in the people." That is to say: a clear river, often no fish and shrimp to breed People are too harsh to be blamed, and no one is acquainted with them. Often a person with a pure heart and a high self-cultivation is prone to lack of tolerance. Because of his moral self-discipline, he is difficult to tolerate the shortcomings and shortcomings of others. If you are too self-satisfied and self-sufficient, it will be difficult to "group" with others, and your career will suffer setbacks.
Fourth, be good at respecting and understanding each other
"Understanding can be a heart of people." In interpersonal communication, understanding is the basis of communication. Only when they are fully understood by each other can they be mutually intimate and affect each other. Of course, understanding is based on mutual respect. Without respect, there is no understanding or even misinterpretation.
Respecting others is first of all to respect the opinions of others. Those who can speak straightforward rules can be described as friends. Being able to make opinions in person is a manifestation of mutual understanding and trust. Only a true friend can speak out. Therefore, in dealings, we must be good at listening to each other's opinions, and learn from each other's strengths. Only in this way can we make the roads thicker and thicker. Second, we must respect the living habits of others. A person's living habits are cultivated at an early age and are the result of subtle influences influenced by the family's education and the surrounding environment. Living habits are hard to change for everyone. A person's living habits have no direct interest to society and others. It is only determined by their different temperaments. In general, what kind of temperament will develop what kind of living habits. Therefore, respecting the habits of others is tantamount to respecting the personality of others. Throughout the ages, no one has been able to "fire" with those who have insulted their personality.
Fifth, we must try to make ourselves "resonate" with each other.
There are not only differences in temperament and interest between people, but also similarities. The same is the same, common interests and hobbies can screw people together, and common goals and ambitions can bring people together. Therefore, the key to whether people are "combined" or not is whether the two sides can "resonate" in the same place. Therefore, in interpersonal communication, we should try to find common ground between the two sides, so that each other has a psychological "resonance" to weaken the unfavorable factors affecting communication, and put the characteristics of mutual disagreement in the secondary position of communication, seeking Datong Keep it small. For example, both sides of the communication have literary hobbies and like to write articles, but there are big differences in personality between the two sides. In this case, it is necessary to choose the former as the starting point of communication and to generate "resonance" with common hobbies. This is the basis for mutual cooperation. If you discard the common hobbies and blame or care about each other in different personalities, it will make the two parties who are supposed to get together "can not come together." We should see more of the commonality of others and ourselves, and should not care about aspects that are different from ourselves. Only in this way can we "combine" with people.
Of course, "community" should also be based on the principle of being a human being. If it is "combined with the same stream," it is better not to "communicate with the group". Only the "community" based on the socialist spiritual civilization can last forever.