I am willing to be a desperate, and fight against the world.

I have always been a very hard person, doing things hard, learning hard, losing weight hard, and even trying to like someone.

I don't know if the force will be able to get any results. I just feel that I am too different from others, and my life is too short. If I don't work hard to burn myself, I am afraid that I will never have a chance to bloom again.

In May of this year, the school announced that it will participate in the national reform examination. The scores are included in the ranking of the insurance research in the proportion of 600 hours, which is equivalent to the scores of all subjects in one and a half years, and the students who promised the top ten in this exam can Direct access to the salary research quota. When the message came out, it was awkward, but the school was bent on it. We said that there was no way to change anything. We only chose to accept it. To be honest, I am very dissatisfied, because I don't want to change my own plan because of this exam, but the results of this exam are too critical, and I can't pay attention to it. At that time, many people were persuading me that your plan could be implemented after the completion of the research. In this paragraph, you should study everything with peace of mind.

Yes, isn't there a world of helpless reality? Don't be stupid, what freedom is there, don't you still have to fall into this frame in the end? Isn't it still going to be changed by this world?

But this time, I chose not to say.

I just want to give it a try. Even if I am willful once, I want to choose my life. If I fail, I will give up and stop the imagination of those daydreams. So, I chose to review the exam while applying for the summer camp, while also running fitness and reading the literature. Just because of hard work, I always set myself a difficult goal. I want to see if I can do this series at the same time. I want to try my life of choice.

Not crazy, not live.

I have never lived so hard, I want to squeeze myself when I do everything, because I am afraid that the battle of my dreams will fail because I can't afford to lose. At that time, I didn't even dare to let myself go. I was afraid that if I stopped busy, I would be cranky. I fear that fear and anxiety about the future will swallow me up.

In two months, I watched more than 3,000 pages of tutorial materials and dozens of professional books.

In two months, I used my mobile phone to brush the questions when I was eating. I smashed all three workbooks and finished more than 20,000 multiple-choice questions.

In two months, I walked on the road every day to memorize my own knowledge points. Even when I got up in the morning, my roommate told me that I was talking about my dreams last night.

In two months, I insisted on fitness, weight loss, and do the support of the tablet to make it soft, and the running to the panting and gnashing teeth.

In two months, I changed the application materials from 2 to 2 in the morning and took time out of the teeth to complete the summer camp interview.

In two months, I forced myself to read the English literature. I would check if I couldn’t read the words. I couldn’t read it twice, and I couldn’t go it three times.

In two months, I applied for more than a dozen summer camps in one breath, and consulted the literature to understand the areas that I was completely strange, because I wanted to see the bigger world and discover more things.

I am like a dry sponge that finally meets the sea water, smothered and absorbed, and life is so bitter, but I still feel the joy from the heart, because this is my own choice of life, this is all I want. Things to do. When hard work is replaced by desperation, you will eventually be strong enough to add.

Two months later, the reform exam held by the school, I finally took the first place in the school; I lost nearly 20 pounds in two months, and now I can easily run five kilometers; from almost every Words need to be translated, and now they can basically read the literature; receive the summer camp admission notices of many colleges and universities, the profession involves many fields; throughout the summer vacation, I almost traveled all over the country and was finally admitted to my favorite school. .

Many people are envious of me, I feel that I am going smoothly, life is like opening a plug-in, as if I have never encountered any problems, what I want and what I want to do can always be achieved, it is easy to be dazzling, but only myself. I know that what they see is only the splendour and beauty of realizing their dreams. What they can’t see is the forbearance and suffering of countless nights.

Many people have asked me why you can bite your teeth when you are so bitter and so tired. Why do you want to work so hard, why should you use it so hard? I just think that since life is your choice, then I just want to forcefully It's too good, even if it's a fight, I want to give it a try and see if I can do it. I am not afraid of thousands of people blocking, I am afraid that I will surrender myself, because once people give up, they will never have the courage.

I have never felt that I have any talent or embarrassment to do things. I just have been working hard, and sometimes I am not so likable because I am too hard, but I always think if I can stick to it more, is it life? It may be different. I am like a stone with a full edge and corner, ramming in this world, even if it is full of injuries, I also want to try to do more yourself.

When I was young, I always felt that Don Quixote in the cartoon was a fool. I lived in a false fantasy every day, but I always felt that I was a hero. But until now, I have envied his life very much. For my heroic dream, I can fight against the evil dragon. No matter how badly I am being beaten, I still go on the road. Even if I am awkward, my heart is very powerful.

If I can, I also want to be Don Quixote and be a veteran knight in my own world.

I don't know how long I can still be so stupid. I don't know how long I can be free. Maybe one day I will be flattened by the world, falling into the frame and no longer have a daydreaming fantasy. But at least until then, I would like to be a desperate, and fight with the world.