Eight hurdles that life needs to take

Eriksson, a famous American development psychologist, believes that the development of human self-consciousness lasts a lifetime. He proposed the classic "Psychosocial Stage Theory", which divided the human psychological development process into eight stages, each of which had a major psychological conflict. Whether you can successfully pass these 8 hurdles is related to your physical and mental health.

Infancy

Important relationship: parents

Success: building trust and optimism

Failure: no trust

Psychological Interpretation: Babies are helpless. When crying or starving, it is difficult to build a sense of trust in the world without the timely response of parents, and it is difficult to see hope in future life. Children with trust are rich in ideals and see things objectively; on the contrary, they dare not have hope, and always worry that their needs are not met. Therefore, it is best for parents to “require” for babies and often hug or care for their children. Of course, a moderate sense of distrust can make people prepared for the dangers of the outside world, expecting unpleasant things, and avoiding setbacks. If you don't build a sense of trust in your infancy, you should first be worthy of being trusted, and at the same time interact with simple, sincere friends to develop trust in people.

Childhood

Important relationship: parents

Success: autonomy and self-discipline

Failure: self-doubt and shame

Psychological Interpretation: At this time, the child begins to have a personal will and can decide what to do or not to do. Parents should let their children develop good habits, such as saving food, not urinating, etc.; but children's self-awareness insists on their own way of eating and excreting. Children will use "I", "we", "no" and other vocabulary to resist the control of their parents. It is not conducive to the socialization of children. Too harsh and will hurt their self-control ability and begin self-doubt. Therefore, parents should grasp the "degree", let the children try, give the necessary encouragement and assistance, and use social norms to regulate their behavior so that they can continue to experience success. However, people with unrestricted self-awareness are difficult to adapt to society and are easy to dictate, so parents may wish to let their children experience a little failed experience. If you fail to develop an independent consciousness when you are a child, you must plan to make your work and life independent and grow up and reduce your dependence on others.

Early school age

Important relationship: family

Success: self-confidence, creativity

Failure: fear of rejection, poor initiative

Psychological Interpretation: Young children often try to do something beyond their ability. If encouraged, young children will form an initiative to lay the foundation for a future person who is responsible, creative, and enterprising; if ridiculed or criticized, He will become shy, timid, retreat, and gradually lose self-confidence. When he grows up, he tends to live in a circle that others have arranged for them. There is no goal, and there is no initiative to create a happy life. Parents are advised not to laugh at or obstruct the child's exploration behavior, give them more opportunities to participate in various activities, and patiently answer their questions.

School age

Important relationship: school

Success: hardworking, competitive

Failure: low self-esteem

Psychological Interpretation: At this time, the biggest influence on children is not parents, but peers and teachers. If children get their love and support, master the required knowledge and social skills, they will experience a sense of success and full of confidence; if they fail repeatedly in their study and interaction, they will feel inferior. It should be noted that the child at this time may have thoughts that measure all values ​​by performance, and may become "nerds" and "workaholics". Parents should encourage their children to communicate and believe that they are capable and intelligent; they should also coordinate the relationship between teachers and children to avoid disharmony between teachers and students affecting children's development. If you fail to develop an initiative during school age, you can set a timetable for yourself in adulthood and self-urging to form a habit.

puberty

Important relationship: peers

Success: Loyalty, with independent personality

Failure: role confusion, weak self-awareness

Psychological Interpretation: Young people gradually get rid of their dependence on their parents and build a deep friendship with their peers. They often have questions such as "Who am I" and "Is it really me?" If you can unify the roles that you will assume in all aspects, you will have independent personality and loyal qualities; otherwise you will be confused, painful, do not know your position in society, and have no direction in life. It is recommended that parents create an open and democratic atmosphere in the family, let the young people choose their own development direction, and hope that they should not be too high or unrealistic; young people should read more, make friends, touch various outlooks on life and values, and then decide their own value orientation and Direction in life.

From this time on, everyone is responsible for their own lives. If you have any psychological problems, you can't resent your parents, but you have to rely on your own strength to make up for it. When you are an adult, you need to develop a knowledge or skill that you are proud of, and then gradually develop other abilities, gain recognition from others and identify with yourself.

Early adulthood

Important relationship: spouse, friend

Success: know how to love and share

Failure: lonely, unable to get along with people

Psychological Interpretation: When young people go to the society, they need to establish close relationships in different relationships such as friends, colleagues, and husbands and wives. Intimacy allows people to care for each other and get support when they are in trouble. If you can build good friendship, love, and even get married, you will feel safe and satisfied psychologically. If you can't share happiness and pain with others, and you can't communicate emotionally, people will fall into loneliness. It is recommended that young people should interact more with others, learn to care for people, and feel the joy of sharing. When you meet your favorite person, you will express your feelings boldly. What kind of things you will do when you are old is the foundation of your mental health. Frustrated in friendship and love, you must quickly get rid of the shadows, reflect on and explore yourself, and constantly increase your understanding of yourself. When you need it, ask a psychologist to help.

Adulthood

Important relationship: workplace, family

Success: Responsibility

Failure: low sentiment, selfishness

Psychological Interpretation: The main life issue in adulthood is to establish a family, that is, to maintain the family, raise children, and do some business. Dare to work hard in the career, let the family live better, such people can achieve a sense of accomplishment, willing to shoulder the social responsibility, know how to care for others, become strong; those who are unwilling or unable to bear these responsibilities will become Decadence, lag, or self-centeredness, selfishness, and life is meaningless. The key to breaking the predicament is to have children. People with children will try to pass on the rich living conditions to the next generation, and let them live better through struggle and creation. At the same time, we must continue to break through ourselves, rather than stagnate at a certain level of our career, and we are unwilling to move forward.

Old age

Important relationship: human

Success: wisdom, satisfaction

Failure: regret, pain, disappointment

Psychological Interpretation: The physical and mental energy of the elderly is deteriorating, and adjustments must be made to recognize the reality. If you adjust it properly, you will feel that your life is full and meaningful, and you will have a sense of perfection. You will become a wise old man and treat life and death with a detached attitude. If you have poor adaptability and regret for the past, you will have pessimism and inevitably desolate. Therefore, when people are old, they must think about it, and they must be content. Even if there is regret in life, let the old age become full, at least not a lifetime.

It is worth reminding that these eight stages are related to each other in a loop. For example, the attitude of the elderly to death directly affects the formation of trust in the grandchildren's infants. Therefore, even for the next generation, you must be a detached old man.