Funny sentence 2019

1. I just met my wife every few days and didn't even pull my hand. Once, in the evening, we walked in the park, I wanted to scare her, let her drill into my arms, and sometimes, I suddenly pointed to a dark corner and shouted "There are mice!" The daughter-in-law quickly put me to the side, bent down and grabbed a brick, and jumped in the direction of my finger. "What? The mouse is there? Don't be afraid...",

2. A: "I want to find out what kind of person my goddess is, I paid attention to her trumpet." B: "And then?" A: "I was slapped by her and then drove out of the toilet..."

3. I went to the market yesterday to buy food. I saw a girl who wanted to buy cucumber. The boss was busy selling and said: "Beauty, this melon is good, fresh and sweet." The girl calmly said: "I don't eat, I bought it." The proprietress instantly petrified, followed by a whispered: "You can eat it when you run out, wash it just fine..." The girl was very surprised to hear: "Can you cook with your face?"

4. Chatting with my wife's girlfriends, my wife's girlfriend suddenly said: "My husband is not at home tonight, the home lights are broken, can you help me?" Just the wife called to say that the overtime work will not come back at night, I Going to the girlfriend's house. I found my wife waiting for me with a rolling pin! All the TVs are deceptive....呜呜

5. Just eating out, the neighboring table is for the little couple, the man is very intimate to feed the girl to eat, the sister lyrically asked: Dear, who have you fed me, have you fed it? To tell the truth 喔The man’s stunned for a long time, the sincere goddess came to the sentence: the dog

6. I don't know if you have ever seen such a person. When you see an old man standing on the bus, you can sleep and sleep. It’s not good to install and install, and from time to time, I’m still blind to see if the old man got off the bus. I am different from them. I installed the special image. Who told me that I didn’t agree. When I got to the terminal, the driver called and did not agree. The police doctor did not agree, the forensic doctor did not agree, and finally was cremated...

7. One day, a confessor came to the church. He said to the priest: Father, I am wrong. The priest said: God will forgive you as long as you admit your mistakes. The confessor said: I stole a person's bicycle, and I will give it to you now. The priest said: No! Don't give it to me and return it to the owner. The confessor said: I have already asked him, but he does not. The priest said: Then take it away! After the priest got off work, he found that the bicycle was gone!

8. One time a girl wears a navel dress and is called to the office. A group of teachers are persuading, and the girl is not changing her heart. Then the director of the Department of Political Affairs and Education only said one sentence, the girl immediately cried... He said: "You still wear a navel dress! You see your belly button is so dirty, it is all gray!"

9. After a group of animals opened PARTY, they rushed into the 7-11 convenience store to buy things. Because they were too noisy, they were all beaten by the clerk, but they left the lambs in the store. Why is it? The convenience store does not fight for 24 hours. Ah.........a little quotation

10. Love in a long distance, the boy said that I will be back in 81 days, so I bought 81 kinds of snacks for my girlfriend and said: You eat one every day, and I will be back when I finish eating. Later, in order to give the girl a surprise, the boy came back on the third day. The girl cried and said: You didn’t lie to me. I just came back after you finished eating.

11. Last night, my daughter-in-law was watching the TV show. At 10:30, I let her go to bed. She reluctantly shut down the TV... Then we quarreled, and finally figured out that the reason was that she turned off the TV. I didn't praise her for being obedient. ..

12. When I was in school, one night, a dormitory person was discussing the criteria for finding a girlfriend. There is a 1 meter 65 buddy in the dormitory who interjected: "The only standard for finding a girlfriend is that you can't be taller than you! Or you have to add a stool if you want to kiss your mouth." Just when we shouted the truth, it was normal. The buddies who spoke very little turned and said, "Yeah, it is best to find a one meter or so, and the train can still have half a ticket..."

13. Several female colleagues talked about how accurate their sixth sense was, and the conversation was starting. Another female colleague passed by and asked: "What are you talking about?" A: "Sixth sense." She immediately heard the spirit: "I have used this, but I prefer Durex..."

14. At the school, the classmate and his girlfriend went out to play. At night, his girlfriend said that he would not go home at night and wanted to be with you. The classmate said that I would go back soon, and I would be worried if I didn’t go back to the family so late. Looking at the back of his girlfriend, he held the only five yuan in his hand...

15. I am stinky, I love to take photos of myself, and I went outside to blow a haircut one day. I used to find a rearview mirror and squinted to find that my brother on the car smiled at me and tightened. Shotgun on hand. . .

16. Planting grass does not make people lie down, it is better to replant cactus!

17. My mind is a little small, but not lacking; I have a good temper, but not without it!

18. The difference between a person and a pig is that the pig is always a pig, and sometimes the person is not a person!

19. It turns out that as long as they are separated, no matter how familiar they are, they will gradually become alienated.

20. Go to the pizza shop to buy pizza! The waiter asked me if I want to cut into 8 or 12 pieces? I thought about it: 8 pieces! 12 pieces can't be eaten!

21. A man flicks a woman, calling a play; a woman flicks a man, seduce; men and women flicker each other, called love.

22. The government is thinking about how to levy taxes reasonably. The boss is thinking about how to avoid taxation reasonably, and I think how to sleep reasonably!

23. Time is used for wandering, body is used to love, life is forgotten, and soul is used to sing.

24. Love is like a ghost, there are many people who believe, and there are few people who see it.

25. How far is it forever? How far will your kid roll me!

26. I met a writer's signature: Maybe it seems to be, but it may not be. I met a GG signature: Give me a girl, I can create a nation.

27. Since I became a shit, no one has ever stepped on my head.

28. I want to fall in love, but it is already late...

29. God! My clothes are thin.

30. The important task after the 80s is to manufacture after 08.

31. Some people have a background, and all I have is a back ~~.

32. It is gold that always shines, but when the earth is full of gold, I don’t know which one I am.

33. Remind everyone to learn to repair their own notebooks. This is very important! Once upon a time there was a person who would not fix his own notebook... Everyone knows what happened later.

34. I am not counting on the square, I can't tell you so much that you love to hear.

35. It’s not that the ending of the story is not good enough, but that we have too many demands on the story!

36. Flowers are often not owned by flowers, but belong to cow dung.

37. The difference between a lie and an oath is that one is the person who listens to be true, and the other is the person who said it is true.

38. It is not difficult to be single. It is difficult to deal with those who do everything possible to let you end single.

39. Sometimes, not the other person does not care about you, but you see the other person too heavy.

40. Even if you are believe, there is a lie hidden in the middle.

41. A true good friend is not a topic that can be talked about together, but together, even if you don’t speak, you won’t feel embarrassed.

42. The other half without 100 points, only two people with 50 points!