This world will not live up to your efforts.
The first trough of my life was at the age of fifteen. At that time, I first understood the peace of mind that you hoped for. In the end, it evolved into a single shadow.
When I first entered middle school, I was especially concerned by the teacher. Because it is high, because it is thin, because the results are good, and because there is still some talent. You know that the best encouragement for adolescent girls is not a certificate, but the name of the teacher in the radio station, and you always stand in the first row during the performance. At that time, you already know that the envy and attention of others is more important than anything else. .
My sudden turn is from two things.
One thing is inexplicably being "early love." Regarding this matter, I have not had the opportunity to clarify until now. Of course, there was no chance at that time. Almost all of my classmates have identified my "early love", and it is ironic that they gloated that the boy did not like me. The class teacher and the language teacher at the time said to my parents: She is too self-satisfied, and the boys do not like her at all. The mother was very angry, and her teacher was demeaning to her daughter, and her daughter’s disappointment. During that semester, I slipped from the fifth place in the class to 20.
The other thing is the change from my body. That year, I was fat from 100 pounds to 130 pounds, and I didn’t know why. Now, every time I see girls who wear glasses, school uniforms, and fat face, I can clearly fill out my own look at the same time. Adolescence is simply cruel to me. In the student era, the destruction of a girl’s self-confidence has never been a result, but an image. The boy who had been rumored to be rumored to be afraid of me, and I never dared to look up at him, as if a pair of eyes, is an invisible ridicule.
I don't know how I spent the time. I felt like a substitute from the protagonist to the incompetent player. I sat on the bench and sizzled over and over again. Only. But I am especially grateful to myself at that time, I have never given up on myself, the cold bench is cold, but my heart always warms myself.
When there are no friends, one person goes to the cafeteria to eat, one person to do the class exercises, one person skipping the rope, one person shooting. I don't mind that my tall, obese body will never be a partner, and no one is willing to partner. I am serious in class, because I know that if I don't do a problem, I have no chance to ask my classmates. Including the teacher, she never paid attention to me. In addition to my good results, I can win a place for the class in the top 100 of the whole year, but there is no qualification for any evaluation.
But I always smile, I don't want to use my sadness to let those who don't like it to be forgotten. I want to influence myself with a smile, even if I am always alone.
One of the class teachers liked me very much. When she met me a few years later, I asked why I always watched my class very busy. I said that if you didn’t have a helping hand at home alone, it was not a mess. She said, you can ask me for help. I said that you have so many students, I don't want to be embarrassed about you, so rely on myself.
After many years, some people say that I always look like I have to slap my teeth and leave everything, I said, because only you will never leave yourself.
I studied at the university two local colleges, which are very unknown. When I was a child, once the test scores were broken, my grandmother would always scare me: reading is so bad that I can only read a certain university in the future. The people in the small places are always very strange. They are more embarrassed to the outside world, so they become sacred, and everything that they have in their own city seems to be a place where there is no talent to jump out of this place and steal.
It’s a coincidence that I just filled in a local school after I’ve taken a two-point score, and I’m proud of it.
But a distant relative does not think so. She didn't know that I was studying at a local university before, and then we met at a very casual dinner. She also guessed that I was graduating soon, so I asked where I was studying at the university and said that I had a good job to introduce to me. But when I reported the name of the school, she was silent. At that time, the atmosphere of the entire dinner was suddenly paralyzed, and the relatives around me, including my parents, did not know how to clean up the scene. She said one thing: Now, in this kind of local college, if you graduate, it is hard to find a job. No one wants 1000 yuan a month. Later, the father said that it is not allowed to say that his daughter is like this, that his daughter is ugly, and that others cannot be degraded.
At the time of graduation, my graduates were not bad, and I also got a fixed job. Of course, I chose the latter. I don't want to say how my senior year is. After everyone leaves the campus, one person sleeps in the cold bedroom. The people around are going out for an internship. I am reading, backing English, and then I have to write various manuscripts when I have time. A desperate attempt in the future. I always remember the words of a distant relative, but I tried not to refute her, but to make myself live better.
Later, I met this distant relative, she pretended to be as if nothing had happened, and still pushed me to help, I never mentioned it. But I always remember the look of her face when she met me again, until I and her patted her shoulders to resolve. Sometimes, all your qi is from yourself. You can sit down with others and talk and laugh. The temperament comes from yourself. You resist all the best weapons and never take up the shield. Instead, you pick up the weapon and do nothing with her. Also communicate freely.
I have been writing a manuscript for a while and also experienced a sea vote. Haitou is actually a very painful thing, just like you suddenly fell into the river, waiting for someone to pull you ashore, but he only has one, so it does not necessarily belong to you.
In fact, my submission was quite smooth. I started to vote for almost five and I can hire one. Some very responsible editors will take the initiative to write to me, tell me to reject the manuscript, and ask me to vote. Of course, most newspapers and magazines are sinking. For a long time, I almost can't keep going, and the determination of people to be big will also be knocked down, let alone a test of water.
That year, I met an editor, which almost became a turning point in my life. At that time, I had not written a column yet, nor did I have a large number of drafts. I was able to express it through Haitou, and I could be excited for many days. The editor is a very cold editor. Until now, we rarely chat except that the manuscript was sent to her.
But she is very respectful
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