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Twenty ideas in the negotiations (14)

Insights: How to prevent "dangerous relationships" Many people are not good at measuring and evaluating friends. In the crisis, they often choose shelters, betrayed or even fallen. Using the three touchstones of adversity, official position, and interest to measure the hearts of friends, there are few examples of inaccuracies. Of course, this method is costly, time consuming, and has a passive shortcoming. By adjusting the world, please take the initiative to infer the hearts of the people, paying a small price for reality, but it is a technique that is generally difficult to control. This method has the suspicion of catching the wind and catching shadows. Depending on the circumstances of each person, errors often occur. Use stress to infer that people are unique. It relies on the frontal indiscriminate bombing and destroys the psychological defense line of the other side, which is a frontal offensive type. Reducing the pressure and making it relax can also make him look good. This approach applies to powerful operators. Reverse speculation, anti-touch is very clever behind the offensive, and then must choose the right target, and strive to break the adverse consequences, that is, "in the heart of the villain, the version of the gentleman." The admirable adversary may not be sinister, and it is difficult to deal with the wicked wickedness of the appearance, because he is easy for us to indulge in negligence. Although the weak people may not be taken care of, they should be more guarded against them. 1. Knowing people know each other, but also knowing that in the end of the Spring and Autumn Period, the Jinzhong Zhongxing Wenzi was forced to go into exile. Once, after passing through a boundary city, his entourage reminded him: "Lord, the bureaucrat here is your old friend, why? Don't take a break here, waiting for the car behind you?” Zhongxing Wenzi replied: “Yes, I used to treat me very well. I liked music for a while, he gave me a violin; then I liked it. Pei, he gave me some jade ring. This is what I voted for, so that I can accept him, and now I am worried that he will sell me to please the enemy. So I quickly left." Sure enough, Soon, the bureaucrat sent people to detain the two cars behind the Zhongxing Wenzi and dedicated them to the King of Jin. Among the ordinary people, there are few people who have such a good understanding of the world. And the deer like the one below is everywhere: the deer is thirsty and comes to a spring. When he drank water, he looked at his shadow in the water and saw that his horn was long and beautiful, and he was proud of it, but he saw his legs seem thin and weak, and he was unhappy. The deer is thinking about it and comes out with a lion chasing him. It turned and fled, pulling the lion down far, because the power of the deer was on the leg, and the power of the lion was in the heart. In this way, on the open plain, the deer has been running ahead and saved his life; in the jungle, its horns are covered by branches, and they can no longer run, and they are caught by the lion. When the deer died, he said to himself: "I am unlucky. I thought it would corrupt me and save me. I am very trustworthy, but it kills me." Similarly, in times of danger, friends who have been suspected often become saviors. A very trusted friend often becomes rebellious. It must be known that there are many people in the world who have different opinions and different appearances. It is difficult to see that it is very difficult. In good times, especially when you are proud of the spring breeze, all who come and go can be called friends. Everyone is going to courtesy, and the cups are entertaining and related. But if the storm suddenly rises, the disaster will fall from the sky, for example, if you fall down because of things, or if you are trapped, or your career is frustrated, or you are ill, or you don’t have the right to wait, then you are unlucky to say, even the past Friends who are relatively smiling and who are very close will also be severely tested. Their attitudes and distances to their friends will surely be clear. At that time, the snobbish villain would shun the house and hide far away; those who feared that their careers would be frustrated would draw a line; the friends of the wine and meat would find another meal because of the lack of alcohol and meat; even some people would smash the stone, stepping on the stone Other people's shoulders climb up. Of course, there are also people who are consistently standing by your side, holding a golden heart to you, and relying on your misfortunes and blessings. As the ancients said: "The heart is speculative, even knowing the heavens, the abdomen is hidden, why is it obvious?" Answer, in times of trouble. At this time, true friends, fake friends, intimate, general, "iron buddies" and "speculators" are clearly defined. Power positions and money interests have always been the touchstone of the people. Some people consciously whisper when they are ordinary soldiers, and they are still brothers and sisters with their partners. Once his status has risen, his official temper will rise, and the concept of making friends will change. For the "poor friends" and "common friends" in the past, they will be ashamed to stay with them and keep a certain distance. For example, two comrades in the war years shared their hardships. Later, one left the army because of a general error. In the "Cultural Revolution", his history was regarded as a serious historical issue, and he was wrongly criticized. In order to clarify the problem, he went to find his comrades in the past to prove his own problems, but the comrade-in-arms who was the leader was afraid of losing himself, refused to see, and said he did not know him. The veteran fell sadly in tears. It is clear that this leader is not enough friends at the crucial moment. What is the difference between this practice and the downfall? In reality, people who "only suffer a lot from each other" can be described as black! The souls of all kinds of people will be exposed nakedly in the face of interests. Some people can be called brothers and sisters when they are good or bad for themselves. They seem to be intimate. However, once they are detrimental to their interests, they are like being personal, seeing forgiveness, mercenary, what friendship, and what emotions are left behind. For example, colleagues who work together, on weekdays, everyone laughs and laughs, and the relationship is harmonious. However, when it was promoted, the number of places was limited, and there were "small and porridge". Some people really showed up. They no longer recognize colleagues and friends. They bluntly put their own strengths at the meeting, exposing others' shortcomings, scorning and swearing behind them, doing activities everywhere, trying every means to pull others down and squeezing themselves up. This kind of person's inner world is exposed in the face of interests. After the incident, who dares to meet with their friends? Of course, the selflessness, the loss of people, and the majority of friendships. However, in the face of gains and losses, everyone will always appear, everyone's mind will be drilled out in public, and they can't hide. Therefore, this moment is also a good time to identify people's hearts. In other words, the years can also become truly fair judges. Some people can be called friends and friends for a long time in a matter of time. When they work together for a long time, they will have a deeper understanding of their people and their character. "The road is far from knowing the horsepower, and it will be seen for a long time." This is what it means. Such long-term exchanges and long-term observations will reach such a realm: knowing people and knowing each other. When the Chinese writers are in trouble, they can infer the sale of "old friends" and avoid the disaster of being downgraded by them. This allows us to get the following revelation: When a friend is against you, especially when you are in a high position, you deliberately vote for it. Ok, then he is mostly due to your status, not to the person you are. It is very difficult for such friends to help in the midst of danger. Then again, through the adversity to test the hearts of the people, although the cost, time is long, and too passive, but its reliability is greater than the conclusions of reasoning. Therefore, we say: measuring the human heart is a safe method when it is mild. 2. The weak person may not be the gentleman of the Eastern Jin Dynasty, after the death of Wang Dun, his brother Wang Han felt that he had no dependence, and he wanted to go to Wang Shu. Wang Han’s son, Wang Ying, persuaded his father to go to Wang Bin at one point. Wang Hanxun replied: “What is the relationship between the general and Wang Bin during his lifetime? What good is your kid thinking about going to him?” Wang Ying refused to respond with conviction. Dao: "This is the reason why the child advised his father to go to him. Jiangchuan Wang Bin is playing a piece of heaven and earth when he is strong. If he can not be inflammatory, this is not what ordinary people can do. Now see us die. Going down, there will be compassion and compassion; and Wang Hao of Jingzhou has always been conservative. How can he break the grace and take back ours?” Wang Han did not listen, so he went straight to Wang Shu, and Wang Shu really sank Wang Han and his son in the river. in. When Wang Bin heard that Wang Ying and his father were coming, he quietly prepared the ship to wait on the riverside, but did not wait. Later, I heard that Wang Han and his son had been miserable after Wang Shu’s misfortune. Those who bully the weak will inevitably be attached to the strong; those who can suppress the strong will inevitably help the weak. Wang Ying, who betrayed Wang Dun’s father, is not a good boy, but his words indicate that he is Deep in the world, at this point, he is much stronger than the "old woman." The use of softness by the weak can win sympathy and is likely to save the weak between dangers. The softness of the weak is rarely harmful. It is often a talisman for the weak to seek protection. If the soft is used by the positive, the positive is corrected and admired by the world. The softness of the right is often reserved for people, not showing the edge, and the people can't bear it. Softness may also be exploited by the good and the evil, which is likely to be the great misfortune of the world. They often deceive themselves, and do not do evil; in the presence of the strong, the slaves are humble, the aunts are flattering, but in front of the weak, they are arrogant and arrogant. They cover the real ugly face with softness, and people can’t see his insidious sinisterness. You don't pay attention to poke you a knife. This is the most terrible. Although the eunuch Shi Xian could not be listed as San Qing, but also made full use of the emperor's favor to him, he was increasingly arrogant and extravagant. In front of the emperor, he showed a kind of weak and timid little wife, not revealing a little edge, in order to win the emperor's sympathy and trust, but it was even more mischievous. Yan Yan is a good-looking generation. It is famous. I am afraid that I will stay in the history of Qing Dynasty forever. He is also very good and has a good level. He has played an emperor. A good thief often appears in front of the emperor as a loyal minister. He always appears to be more loyal to the emperor than the celestial celestial being; but behind the emperor, he bullies the people and plays with power, notorious. It is this kind of talent who is good at making a wrist and defeating his enemies with his so-called softness to achieve his ulterior motive. They tend to be long-lasting, savvy, and full of ghosts, and the adversaries often have time to prepare for the accident. Some people in daily life are always respectful. In general, such people and people deal with each other, mostly whispering, and always use the tone of praise. Therefore, at the time of initial knowledge, the other party often feels embarrassed; however, after a long period of contact, he will be aware of the attitude of such a person at any time and become disgusted. Observed that most of the infancy of this type of person is subject to severe and inappropriate discipline by both parents, which leads to psychological distortion. Always with uneasiness and guilt, when there is a desire in the heart, it is subject to the inner self. Over time, these backlogs are transformed by self-discipline and appear on the surface. Such appearances are what they know, but they are difficult to correct, because through a respectful attitude, they can balance the inner uneasiness and guilt, and suppress the benefits and benefits. In other words, their respectful appearance is not an internal reflection. Such people often use excessively unnatural respects, often hostile, contemptuous, and alert. Because common sense tells us that there is not much respectfulness when the relationship between the two parties is good. For example: the gold of your house is so cute! Your husband is so healthy, it is enviable... . A courtesy of politeness does not mean respect for you, but rather a sense of wariness, hostility or distrust. It is fair to say that most of the weak and respectful people are not evil people. The reason why they are emphasized is that when their weak images give us a sense of security, the black-hearted people who are involved in it are easy to attack. A deer licked one eye. The deer went to the beach and graze there. He used his eyes to face the land, guarding against hunters and squinting at the sea, thinking that there would be no danger there. Someone passed by the boat and saw the deer. He shot him in one shot. When the deer fell, he said to himself: "I am unlucky. I thought that the land was dangerous, and I strictly guarded it. I went to the sea and could not think of a more serious disaster." This shows that when we are flat with the outside When dealing with soft people, you should try to relax and carefully test his inner intentions. You must not take it lightly, thinking that such people can not bear the burden and not be good. There is a saying: the heart of the victim cannot be there, and the heart of the person is indispensable. The person who is respectful and respectful should be so. 3. "Watching people and knowing what to do" Wei Wenhou has a general commander called Le Yang. Once, Le Yang led the troops to attack the Zhongshan country. At this time, the son of Le Cha Le Yang is in Zhongshan. The King of Zhongshan cooked his son and sent someone to the Le Yang to send a pot of meat. Le Yang’s grief was extremely, but not discouraged. He did not waver. He actually sat under the tabernacle and drank a soup made with his son’s meat. After Wei Wenhou knew it, he praised the teacher and praised him: "Le Yang for me, eating the meat of his own son, can be seen, how loyal is he to me?" Block teacher praised: a person with his son's meat I dare to eat, then, who else in this world does he dare to eat? "Le Yang defeated Zhongshan. When the triumphant return, Wei Wenhou rewarded him for his merits. However, from this beginning, he always doubted his loyalty to himself. Wei Wenhou did not make sense. Le Yang The self-control is too scary, and the non-invasive person can't do it. The argument of blocking the teacher is more reasonable, because a person's actions can be seen in a small and big, with amazing internal consistency. Japan once had such a legend, the Yonglu period The most powerful force is Beijo Shikang, who dominates the Kanto area. Once, Kita Shikang was eating with the eldest son on the battlefield. I can imagine that the wartime meals are very simple, only rice soup. However, the government eats and eats. And I added a bowl of soup to the meal. The matter of Beizhe Kang looked in my eyes and remembered it. He immediately developed Lenovo. Why is there no number of meals in his family? Bowl soup seems to be at least considered to be a person with little foresight. The fear of Kitazuki is unfortunately turned into a fact in the future. Thirty years later, the government was finally lacked in foresight. Chen Xiuji’s army was besieged, and his brother died in tragic warfare. The northern part of the tyrannical tyrannical dynasty has since perished. Based on this principle of “behavior of behavior”, the following methods can be used to identify the true meaning of certain words and deeds: 1 You can find People who judge others often have a blackmail, and reforms are often people who need help. Because of this, they want to change the world. When evil oppresses a person, for him, dealing with the faults of others. It is easier to do so. Because of this, those who say that you deserve it, his curse is equal to allowing evil to exist in his own. When an Arab niece has been rehabilitated for the night, she asks the police to arrest all the prostitutes. The more a woman's heart is vicious, the easier she is to qualify her companion. The sense of evil is born of memory. A person who has devastated a virgin in childhood fears that his daughter will be the victim of rape. Those who have masturbation are afraid that their son will follow in the footsteps. The blame shows the sin of the sound. This kind of person understands your duties and duties, It can be said very quickly. The noble person is always silent before the terrible responsibility of “seeing the facts.” 2 Language is a tool for human communication. From one person’s speech, it is enough to know his mind and emotions. However, if the other party's mouth is wrong, it is suspicion. Such people often express their impulses and desires, as well as the stimuli of their environment, and disguise themselves in a reverse language, which makes them unclear. For example, a friend who does not vote for a personality does often vote for a social rhetoric invitation: "Oh, what day to sit down!" In fact, the original intention of my heart may be: "Oops, and met again, and it is wonderful to open the file!" "This behavior contrary to the original intention often causes inner uneasiness and fear. For self-comfort, it is repeated again and again. It is a kind of pride and arrogance that is unspeakable. Others surpass themselves in some way. For example, "It is better to take a razor than a razor, and it is better to sell a tea egg than a missile." "This is a typical intellectual grievance. Most of the grievances are self-confident. When they can't maintain their superior status in reality, they use their grievances to vent. 4 Most people who are maliciously blamed want to satisfy their own desires and domination. Self-respect. They often love to catch other people's problems and make accusations. These people are harsh and self-respecting to others. They have the desire to dominate others. 5 Most people who speak well to the tradition are conservative. No matter what new things appear, it is better to use traditional things as the evaluation criteria. Most of these people are empiricists, their thoughts are conservative and rigid, and they also show their intransigence. 5Speakers who look good at the wind Most of them are unprincipled. In life, many people speak with obedient objects. They don’t have a certain opinion, they are completely “seeing people to eat.” Chekhov called this person a “chameleon”, he Through the protagonist of the same name, Ou Chuluofu, he vividly painted the face of such a person who looks at the wind. This kind of person has no truth, and if necessary, they can make a decision. 1. The majority of the warmth of the word welcomes others. This kind of person can say that the same sentence can be interpreted as such, and can be interpreted as such, vague, such a person is sleek, never willing to lose, know how Protect yourself and how to use others. 3 Frequently comment on others, on long and short, indicating that he is serious, narrow-minded, bad-hearted, lonely in his heart. If he is a small problem such as not saying hello to others. He is so frustrated that he is frustrated in self-esteem and longing for the respect of others. Some people often use the fault or incompetence of the leader as a topic, indicating that he has the desire to make a difference and replace it. 2 Someone is talking about the power to avoid a certain A topic, which shows that he has a hidden intention in this respect, or has a strong desire in this respect. For example, when a person’s heart has a strong desire for money, power or a certain opposite sex, he is afraid of being seen by others, so he deliberately avoids it. Open this topic to cover up your true intentions. 3 and often live with your family, the other party can not see your true intentions. When talking, the other party is with you first Some homes often live, which means that he wants to know your strength, detect your intentions, test your attitude, and then turn to the topic. This kind of person is a very talkative opponent, it is worth dealing with. We will use the above method Known as "wind catching and catching shadows", there are some errors in the practice of "seeing the wind is two." It is possible to reduce the error and capture the exact shadow is not as simple as the text description. Observe the words and deeds of the people around it. After analyzing the heart, it can become a real black-measuring expert, and less mistakes in catching the wind and catching shadows. It can reach the realm of “seeing people in the micro and knowing it.” 4. “Reverse thinking” watching the fox evade the hunter and see a generation The man asked to hide him. The loggers called the fox to go to his hut to hide. After a while, the hunter arrived and asked the loggers to see the fox. The loggers said that they did not see, gesticulating, suggesting Where the fox was hiding. However, the hunter did not notice his gesture, but he believed his words. When the fox saw the hunter left, he came out of the huts and walked away without saying hello. The loggers blamed the fox and said that he had saved his life, but he did not even express his gratitude. The fox replied: "If your gesture is consistent with your language, I should thank you." The fox faced a good deed by a person and was not confused by the surface. For those who say that they want to do good deeds and actually do bad things, there is a good way to identify them: to look at the meaning of the surface and to make a counter-solution, you can immediately see through its false activities. From the perspective of reverse thinking, we can find the back that is difficult to see from the front, from the opposite side of a good person and a good thing that shrouds the aura, thus avoiding the mistakes caused by credulity. There is no such example in life: a good-end woman can't find a good husband. As a result, her life has always been smeared with a layer of ambiguity. We often hear some women say, "I don't care what he does, as long as he is good to me!" There is some desolation in it, and it is enough to prove that they hope to find a good husband. However, how to see through the beautiful aura of pre-marriage men and see their true colors is indeed worthy of attention to every girl to be married. The more polite the man is, the more he is guilty. The simplest truth is that the hardest thing to do is that we often only see one aspect of the problem and ignore the other side. It is said that it is polite to talk about the pertinent man. The general girl and the girl in the family have seen this in their eyes and are happy in their hearts, because they know that this man knows the book well, and life is reliable in the future. This kind of inference is correct from one angle. What is the angle? Their merits have just become their shortcomings, because such men, they are not only emotionally delicate, but also for any one thing, any one thing is sometimes delicate. For example, they will ask you to wear this dress instead of wearing it; they will remember your words inadvertently in your heart, or analyze them; they will go to the organization of the unit for you. The ball is alone and sulking, or simply violently thundering; they will buy blue curtains because you are called, and you buy greens according to your own aesthetic point of view, so you endlessly lingering... every detail in life, they are almost All have to intervene and interfere with this kind of male life. Obviously, there will always be contradictions and squabble. In the divorce file, many of them are because the woman can't stand the husband's delicate and almost mean and divorce. 2 Men who have over-emphasized themselves may have selfish motives and a tendency to ignore women. Some men are dressed up too much, which is purely a narcissism, perhaps because they love themselves too much, so they can't care for others, even their own beloved wife. A very middle-aged woman told me that her husband is very graceful, both to buy clothes and to wear them, but he did not show the enthusiasm for her and her children. Her husband, I know, once I jokingly asked: "Your wife is beautiful and gentle, do you love her?" He smiled and said, "I love myself, I can't love it!" I don't doubt him. It’s the truth, because Ping has noticed that everyone is talking about his wife, talking about children, and talking about family in an interest. He is a little on the side. This kind of male is not only intended to attract women, but also a kind of self-satisfaction and self-expression. 3 Men who are too attached to the opposite sex, can easily become overbearing after marriage. At this point, time is important. Before you came to become his wife and you have become his wife, time cut him into two people. We can't simply say that this kind of male is a liar, but they are obedient and versatile, and they are indeed an instinctive means to achieve their goals. Then, after marriage, his attitude may change with the passage of time, until the former gentle and considerate all disappeared, the rest, or can be replaced, only "masculinity" and physical strength Reproduction and the arrogance of attitude. What kind of motivation, what kind of outcome, which is inevitable. 4 men who like to boast of their own, often personality biased hysteria and vanity. There are quite a few young men who are unwilling to be lonely in front of their loved ones. They like to exaggerate themselves with their own colors: they graduated from a certain key university, sitting in an office at a certain institution, with a monthly salary of nearly 3,000 yuan. How can a unit person evaluate his talent and tact? ...... Everything has been pulled up, and this aura is the easiest to make the girl feel happy and proud. In fact, the more males in this stream, the more likely they are to be a third-rate poor citizen. Their vanity is extremely strong, selfish and self-willed, and emotionally unstable. This personality is called a hysterical character in psychology. This type of man is inferior because of his inferiority, and he is vain, and thus he is powerless. But they must pretend to attack the front, so that they will continue to deceive themselves and deceive others by words and deeds. How can they care and be considerate of others? It. 5 When a mistake is made, a man who explains a lot of marriages is easy to quarrel between husband and wife. When our lover is half an hour or a quarter of an hour after the date of the appointment, he repeatedly explains why it is late because of what reason, so that the person is unable to recognize the mistake and admit the mistake. When an average person makes a mistake, most of them have two kinds of reactions: one is to immediately admit the wrong gift to the other party, and the other is to make a self-explanation first. The former is a person who is straightforward and considerate to others, while the latter is more selfish, and everything is self-centered. The latter is afraid of being criticized by others, so they are not willing to admit mistakes. Instead, push all the blame on the other side. Imagine how people who have no self-knowledge can understand their wife? Besides, it is not normal and impossible for family life to have no contradictions. However, the husband is never willing to admit that he is not, always blame the wife, always the wife's fault, so the personality defects, how can the family and peace? If the method of "increasing and reducing pressure" is a prone to confrontation and more laborious, then the method of starting from the opposite side has the advantage of being unconsciously and effortless. Its own shortcomings are precisely its advantages: people who use this method often fall into the mud pit of "everything goes to the bad", and are reprimanded as "the heart of a gentleman, the belly of a gentleman."

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