Secretarial knowledge > negotiation skills

Twenty tips in the negotiations (17)

Heuristics: knowing how to use euphemistic language to show attitude 1. Turning the corner of the "pathway method" On the eve of the Xi'an Incident, Zhang Xueliang and Yang Hucheng frequently met each other and all of them were worried about Jiang. For such a big event that is related to the life of the family and the future of the country, no one dares to open the door easily before the other party’s bright attitude. Seeing that time is getting closer and closer, both sides are trying to say that they are still resting. Yang Hucheng has a famous Communist Party member called Wang Bingnan, and Zhang Xueliang also knows. In another meeting, Yang Hucheng said to him: "Wang Bingnan is a radical, he advocates detaining Chiang Kai-shek!" Zhang Xueliang said in a timely manner: "I see this is also a way." So two smart generals began Negotiate action plans. At that time, Zhang Xueliang's strength was much larger than that of Yang Hucheng, and it was Jiang's brother-in-law. If Yang Hucheng directly puts his point of view in front of Zhang, and Zhang does not agree, the fruit is worrying. Then he borrowed the voice of the third party who was not present, and even if he did not, he could retreat and seek other strategies. This kind of self-protection function that has both the "shield" is wonderful. The third method of bypassing the truth is to tell the truth and take the opportunity to express feelings. In the 19th century, the famous Russian writer Dostoevsky used this strange technique to find out the heart of the little secretary and "forced" her to give the card. In 1866, it was a year of great significance for Dostoevsky. His wife Maria and his brother died. In order to pay off the debt, he wrote the novel "Gambling" for the publisher, and asked the stenographer, her name is Anna. Gligoryevna, a 20-year-old girl with a very good temperament and a smart and lively girl. Anna admired Dosianevsky, working seriously and meticulously. After the book "Gambling" was completed, the writer had fallen in love with his stenographer, but did not know if Anna was willing to be his wife, he invited Anna to his studio and said to Anna: "I am conceiving another one. Novel." "Is it an interesting novel?" she asked. "Yes. It's just that the end of the novel has not been arranged. I can't grasp the psychological activities of a young girl. Now I only have to turn to you." He saw Anna listening and continued, "The hero of the novel is an artist. Not young..." The protagonist’s experience is the writer himself. Anna listened. She couldn’t help but interrupt his words: “What do you torture your hero?” “It seems that you seem to sympathize with him?” The writer asked Anna. . "I am very sympathetic, he has a kind heart, full of love. He suffers misfortune, still longing for love, eagerly expecting happiness." Anna was a little excited. Dostoevsky went on to say, "In the words of the author, the girl the hero encounters is gentle, intelligent, kind, and accessible, not a beauty, but also quite good. I like her very much." Difficult to combine, because the two characters, age disparity. Young girls will fall in love with the artist? Is this psychological distortion? I ask you to help, listen to your opinion." The writer asked Anna for advice. "How is it impossible? If the two are in love, why can't she love the artist? Is it only worth to look and wealth that is worthy of love? As long as she truly loves him, she is a happy person and will never regret it." "You really Believe, she will love him? And love for a lifetime?" The writer was a little excited, a little hesitant, his voice trembled, seemingly embarrassed and painful. Anna stunned and finally realized that they were not only talking about literature, but also conceiving a prelude to love swan songs. Miss Anna’s true psychology is what she said. She is very sympathetic to the protagonist, the writer Dostoevsky’s experience, and loves this great writer from the heart. If he ambiguously answers the writer’s words, his self-esteem And pride will be a terrible blow. So Anna excitedly told the writer: "I will answer, I love you, and will love for a lifetime." Later, the writer married Anna, and with the help of Anna, Dostoevsky paid off. All the debts, and in the last half of life, wrote many immortal works. Dostoevsky’s pleading for Anna’s love has always been widely used as a love story by the world. 2. Learning to "curve to save the family" is inevitable. It is inevitable that when dealing with these contradictions, it should not be too self-willed and unobtrusive, but should be concerned about the consequences of their own actions. Sometimes, a "curve to save the family" may be offered. . For example, what should a wife who is in charge of “family finances” find after she has secretly stored her private money? Obviously, if the anger is relative and hysterical, it will inevitably affect the feelings between husband and wife, and cast a shadow over the family; but if it is insensitive, listen to it, and lose the sense of family responsibility as a wife. How to deal with it does not affect the marital relationship, but also the family responsibility of the wife? 1 cast a stone to ask for directions, test the reaction. Instead of directly asking or revealing the secrets of the husband, we use other means to communicate with the husband. There are at least three advantages to this: one is to let the husband secretly "step", not to make the husband into an awkward situation; the second is to give the husband room to think and deal with problems, to prevent positive conflict between husband and wife; the third is performance Trust and responsibility for the husband. This method better preserves the husband's face, and does not harm the relationship between the husband and wife, which can prompt the husband to consciously sum up the intention of storing the private money. A gentleman has a deep relationship with his wife. Once, his wife inadvertently found that her husband’s books contained 1,000 yuan when she was sorting out her husband’s bookshelf. His wife thought: I usually didn't listen to my husband talking about this money. So, what is the use of his private money? So, this rather thoughtful wife left a note next to her husband's private money: "You have a hard time, but I believe that you will not spend it!" For a few days, my wife is like nothing. same. Until one day, when the husband put money into the book, he found his wife's note and took the initiative to tell his wife: "You finally found my secret, this is the money I used to save the money. I see you marry After I save money, I don't have a piece of jewelry. So, I want to wait for enough money to buy a gold necklace for you, and give you an unexpected surprise." The husband said something, and his wife shed tears. 3 Take a “detour” and ask back. The curve traces back to the intent of the husband to save money in the private house. The most common method is to not ask questions directly, but let other members of the family come forward to inquire. For example, let the in-laws or the sensible children convey your meaning, and then wait for the husband's feedback. A man usually gives all his income to his wife, so his wife is absolutely reassured. However, one day, the wife found 500 yuan in the drawer of her husband's desk. Wife suspected that the husband is always loyal to himself, why is it privately saved? With the wife’s anger at the time, I really wanted to ask his husband to go home and blame him for a meal. However, she calmed down and thought: If she directly blames her, her husband has no way out, it must be very embarrassing; let alone, the husband privately saves money, maybe for any reason. So she instructed the son of the country to come and inquire. Sure enough, the husband had a solid foundation in front of his wife: the 500 yuan was the bonus that the husband got for a scientific research project. He planned to give it to his wife as a birthday gift at the 70th birthday of his father-in-law. At this point, the wife not only relieved the doubts in his heart, but also misunderstood it, and raised a gratitude in his heart. After the couple’s quarrel, the “speaking and summoning” can also be used to return to the curve and the strategy of reconciliation to maintain family harmony. It is safe to say that almost no one said to the other party after a quarrel: Don’t make a noise, let’s talk about it! If someone has done this, there is a high possibility that the following situation will occur: the other person will look at him with a sigh of relief and say, "When you give me a temper, why didn’t you think about it and mad at me? It’s not that easy to think about it now.” Straight-talking and often failing, but indirect speaking and often succeeding. For example, the husband and wife just had a fight, and the husband did not know how to reconcile with his wife. At this critical moment, the child in the middle of the room cried. The wife quickly hugged the child and squatted for a while, and the child still cried. The husband rushed to the past: the child may be hungry. Wife: You know that your child is hungry, and you don't want to go to the milk powder! The husband rushed the milk powder, adjusted the temperature and came over and handed the bottle to his wife. He said with concern: "The milk powder is washed, and hurry." At this time, the wife may find an excuse to blame one or two sentences and send her heart. The anger: "The milk powder is so hot, can you feed it quickly? No heart and lungs, hot and cold do not know, milk powder is not good, except for the temper, what can be done?" For the wife, the husband does not have to care, because These words are purely a balance of psychological needs, and are informal symbolic diplomatic condemnations. Of course, "family reincarnation" is not a "trap", the role is to buffer the inertia of quarrels, to protect the husband and wife, and to add to the small days. These tastes and tastes are of great benefit to deepen the relationship between husband and wife. 3. Multi-circle, less touch nails Some fish-based birds, the shape of the mouth, straight, both upper and lower parts are long and wide. Swallow food At times, some of them often throw the caught fish into the air, let the fish head fall down and down, and then swallow it in one bite. This way the fish can pass through the throat. The bones of the shark fins fall from the front to the back and will not get stuck in the throat. For the sake of human beings, asking people to do things will also encounter various kinds of "stabs". At this time, they can't "straight", but they should find a way to circle. Bend, avoid the nails. This is the strategy and means that a person should have. Even if there is no feather, the Ukrainian will "turn the fish upside down to eat". How can a smart person stand up in the shirt, hit the nail and let the "thorn" get stuck in the throat? An editor who made a draft of the famous scholar Qian Zhongshu was able to successfully "eat the fish" around the wall, and even said "nothing at all." Here is his trick: the media The temperament of Mr. Qian Zhongshu is so ridiculous. A few years ago, I was involved in compiling a local celebrity dictionary. Tongren said that Qian Lao’s materials are not easy to get, and writing letters to the public are like yellow cranes. The editor is also seriously injured. I want to try my luck. In view of the previous car, I am not doing anything. I decided to try it because I have some understanding of Qian’s writings and academic achievements. Since its inception in 1961 , The name of the birth is engraved in the brain and pursued so far. Second, Mr. Qian Sunqing, the uncle of Qian Lao, is the former old principal of my school. With these two, I built up my confidence. Since I have no name, I have to ask for directions. Back to it. Qian Laojiao is very elegant and tasteful. Every time he is ridiculous, humorous and humorous, he is happy with each other. Yang Lu’s female husband, Hu Fujun, is a “black dog talent”. This is the old word “murmur”. I became a clutch puzzle. So I did not take the liberty to write two riddles for their names. "Cultural writings" shot "Qian Zhongshu": "Liu Xufei came to the film red" shot "Yang Wan". The letter was first made And then stated the performance of his uncle's school. He soon received a reply, and he was not happy. He attached a joint greeting card and a blue-gold word, which is elegant and elegant. Especially the postcard signed by Qian Lao, the three characters will be written. The nature is so beautiful! Qian Lao is not as weird as the rumors. It is both awkward and hopeful. So he sent a letter to the fathers and relatives to love them. Yang Ju’s alma mater was not seen because of the “first editor”. The money is old and angry, and he is angry and refuses to buy; Local historical records frequently played bit-part player, the protagonist does not appear, opera singing is not the situation, and so on. I hope they will give first-hand information. Soon I have to reply: "We are pleased to hear from you. We are grateful to the celebrity biographies at home and abroad for their requests for materials. I have occasionally thanked them for their entries. They are self-edited. Mi will make an exception for you." Closed the door. Think about it, if the person does not refuse, frequent entertainment, it will be a disaster. The old people have their own principles of life, and they are consistent. If it is distorted and light, it will inevitably cause a mental dilemma. Although the hometown is deep, it is not possible to rush to break the "law." At first glance, the mountains and heavy waters have no way to reconcile, and since the whole supply of materials is not enough, why not take a different approach. The draft of "self-editing" is reviewed and it is not the same as the task of compiling the manuscript. Liu dark flowers and another village. So the biographies about Qian Lao were turned into a small biography, and some questions were attached. I also sent a letter to ask for advice. Read the reply in the uneasiness: "Follow the future draft to delete it, and return it." Most of the names in the small biography were deleted, and the criticism was: "Unfit." Corrected the mistake of Lantian. Overjoyed! At this point, the task of the draft is complete. The colleagues have no hands to celebrate. To Mr. Qian Lao’s prejudice of “not angry and arrogant”, “it is also warm”, and there is a long period of time, and there is no loss of the heart of the child. It can be seen from the above examples that for an awesome opponent, it is best to make a circle before the request, mention his interest or current situation, and make the other person feel that "this person seems to know me very well" and deepen his impression. Another editor invited a famous writer to submit a manuscript. The writer has always been difficult to deal with, so the editor felt nervous and timid before going to his house. The beginning was not successful, because regardless of what the writer said, the editor said "Yes, yes." or "Maybe." It is impossible to explain what asked him to write a manuscript. He had to prepare to explain this to him again the next day, and he would end the visit today by chatting casually. Suddenly, he flashed a magazine with an article about the author's current situation, and he said to the writer: "Sir, I heard that you have a piece of work that was translated into English and published in the US, is it?" The writer slammed I said, "Yes." "Mr., your unique style, I don't know if I can fully express it in English?" "I am also worried about this." They kept talking and the atmosphere gradually changed. For the sake of ease, the writer finally promised to write a manuscript for the editor. Why is this writer, who is not easy to answer, change his original attitude in order to edit his words? Because he thinks that the editor is not just asking him to write a manuscript, but he has read his article and knows his things very well, so he can't handle it casually. Let the other person think that he is very clear about his affairs, and he can be psychologically superior like the editor. When ordinary people want to meet with celebrities or people with titles, they will have a timid mentality. If the situation is overwhelmed, it is not too dare to explain what is required, so both sides are embarrassed. At this time, no matter how small the matter does not matter, the first thing to talk about is the other party's interest, current situation, etc., as if he is very familiar with his affairs. We can say: "I heard that you recently quit smoking, is it true?" "I saw you on TV a few days ago." If it doesn't seem to make any sense, you can open the other's heart and pull him into his own. In the topic.

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