Secretarial knowledge > negotiation skills

Twenty ideas in the negotiations (15)

Handle: How to take his nose and walk through many daily necessities and utensils in life. In the relationship theory, the search for handles and manufacturing handles are mainly used to control others, to make them work for me, and to listen to me. Everyone has weaknesses, and these weaknesses are good handles. The impetuous person can use the radical method, and even his fun and preferences can be used as the key to open the door of his desire. As long as he tempts or strikes him with his favorite or jealous things, he will definitely be hooked and give you a handle. The privacy of others, such as anecdotes, bribery, crimes, etc., can also be subject to me. It is often used in negotiations, elections, and disputes, and its effectiveness is enormous. In addition, some handles appear randomly, such as the mistakes in the debate, should be seized in time, chasing after the fight. If the opponent's handle is hard to find or there is no loophole, you can also create creatively or excavate the handle and then put it on him. From this we should learn to learn: It is dangerous to confuse the truth between friends, because no one can guarantee that they will turn against each other in the future. Therefore, interpersonal exchanges, friends and friends should know how to hold the road and have a city, and force the hands-free person to become a poor end to be controlled by people. 1. Grab the knife and grasp the handle, and the man-made handle. The Zhu Boben of the Han Dynasty was a military general. Later, he was transferred to the local civil servant of Zuo Fengjun. He used some clever means to subdue the evil forces in the place and was passed down as a beautiful talk. In the area of ​​Changling, there is a person from a large family named Shang Fang who was banned. When he was young, he raped the wife of someone else and was cut by a knife. Such a villain should have been punished severely, only because he greatly bribed the government's merits, but was not dismissed and investigated, and finally was promoted to guard. After Zhu Bo took office, someone told him about it. Zhu Bo feels that this is too much! See the ban. Shang Fang was forbidden to go to the top seven and smack the scalp to see Mibo. Zhu Bo carefully looked at the face of Shang Fang’s forbidden, and found that there was a trace. I will retreat left and right, pretending to ask about it with great concern. Shang Fang banned the guilty conscience, knowing that Zhu Bo had already understood his situation, just like the chicken and glutinous rice, and successively gave Zhu Bo a gimmick, and truthfully told the story. The head did not dare to carry it, but only pleaded with enthusiasm: "Please excuse the adult for sin, the villain will never do anything that hurts the world in the future." "Ha ha ha..." Zhu Bo suddenly laughed: "Men’s husband This is inevitable that this kind of thing will happen. This official wants to be a shame for you, give you a chance to make meritorious deeds, can you work for yourself?" So, Zhu Bo ordered that the party still banned anyone from revealing today’s conversation, He had the opportunity to record some other officials’ comments and report to Zhu Bo in time. The ban on the party has become a close confidant and eye for Zhu Bo. Since being released by Zhu Bokuan, Shang Fang has forbidden to remember Zhu Bo’s great grace and great deeds. Therefore, he has done a special job to sell his life. Soon, he has cracked many criminal activities such as theft and rape. His work is very effective. The local security situation has changed a lot. Zhu Bozhen upgraded him to the county court of Lianshou County. Grab the knife to grasp the handle, and the person to take the handle. The wise man found weaknesses in his opponent, never let go of it, but used his weakness to "hold" him for my use. This method can be applied to the control of subordinates. Closer to home, after a considerable period of time, Zhu Bo suddenly summoned the Gong Cao who was banned from bribery by the Shang Fang. He solemnly reprimanded him and took out paper and pen to ask the one who had taken bribes. All the things above the money are written down, and there is no way to hide them. The Gongcao had already been scared to screen, and had to mention the pen and write down his own streaks. Since Zhu Bo had already known from the Shang Fang ban that the Gong Cao was corrupt and accepting bribes, he was a sincere person. Therefore, after reading the materials he had written and felt that it was not bad, he said to him: "You should go back first." Introspection and waiting for the ruling. From the future, we must be rehabilitated and not allowed to do anything else!" When the officer saw Mibo to pull the knife, he was so scared that his legs were soft, and he was snoring and swearing. He couldn’t help but reduce his mouth: "The grown-up is forgiving! The grown-up is forgiving!" I saw Zhu Bo swaying the knife and grabbing it. The guilty material that had been written by the martial arts, three or two times, throws me into paper and throws it into the paper. Since then, the feat has been like a thin ice, war, and work hard, and dare not slack off. 2. Ming dynasty, accompanying words difficult to defend 1966 is the US election year, the presidential candidate, the Republican side, launched President Ford to compete. On the Democratic side, Carter and Edward appeared. Gandidi contested the situation. Ganzi Difu's huge family finances, as well as the reputation of his two brothers for the country's dereliction of duty, and the experience of serving as a senator for many years, want to win the throne of the presidential candidate, can be said to be deep-rooted. Carter was born as a peanut farmer. Although he had the experience of being a governor, he was the opponent of Gandi. Carter’s eyesight is hopeless, only counted. At that time, the American people were still fresh in the memory of the Watergate incident, and the incomprehensibility of the politicians in Washington was endless. Therefore, the awkward Carter grasped this weakness tightly and began a series of attacks on the already dying action of Kennedy. Among them, President Campanese’s conspiracy to murder foreign leaders by the US Central Intelligence Agency said that President Kennedy had fucked a woman in the White House, and even there was a woman named Essner who talked to the press about her. President Kennedy went to bed. Further, he pulled out a leader of the Mafia and said how he helped Gan Judi to be elected illegally and so on. The purpose of these propaganda is nothing more than ugly the image of the family, seize the weakness of a little catching the wind, and publicize it to achieve the purpose of the attack. Under such a fierce attack, Edward Gandi was really unable to stand up and had to announce his withdrawal. In 1980, Edward Kennedy and Carter re-engaged and competed for the Democratic presidential candidate. At this time, Carter was the current president. He knew that the tactics of 1966 could no longer be used. Because of the old accounts of Chen Sesame and Rotten Millet, voters would not be more fresh. Therefore, he told reporters to carry out the "Keruzhen incident" to explain Edward. When Gandi’s girlfriend died in Dongshui’s life, how could such a person have his own “leadership temperament”? The result of chasing and slamming makes Edward. Gan Judi finally lost again to Carter’s hand. Therefore, many people think that Carter can beat Kennedy twice, mainly because he is good at combating the weaknesses of competitors, especially the use of sentimentality and the core of the problem. However, in 1980, because he paid too much attention to the fight against the same party, Gandi, and his heart and soul, but against the real opponent, Republican Reagan, can not find a fatal weakness, so that he fell to the ground and returned to Georgia to grow peanuts. The weaknesses of competitors are sometimes well known and sometimes hidden. The well-known weaknesses in the use of the effects received, of course, can not match some hidden or anecdote. However, the information and evidence of hidden or anecdote is not easy to grasp, and if you fail, you will get a lawsuit. Therefore, it is not unreasonable for a wise or strong person to emphasize face-to-face competition rather than making rumors or putting cold arrows. Once the secrets you have mastered are made public, he will break the cans and retaliate against you without any scruples. Assume that his current wife does not know his big secret: he was in love with a girl before marriage, and he has a child who has not officially admitted this child. Even if I know this secret, I can't use it as a weakness. I must determine the name of the woman and the child in order to make a big difference. We have already seen their names as they have been - the mother is "H" and the child is called "M". When he stands in front of the crowd and quarrels with you in a proud attitude, you use a very calm tone to suddenly change the subject and ask: "I suddenly thought of one thing, have you recently been with H? Did the lady meet?" The person who knows nothing about this secret, and the person who knows her name, but who does not know her name, will certainly not know what to say. People who don't know the details don't know what you are saying. This fact is that you can use the weakness of the other side to overcome the other's key points. If you continue to ask, it is equal to the big secret that he does not want to be known. He will of course be anxious like an ant on a hot pot, and he has to try to make this quarrel. Therefore, he will change his attitude of arrogance and whisper and protest: "Hey... Hey... Why should you say something here?" After that, you have to move out "Miss H" repeatedly to subdue him. Unless he heard the name "H", he couldn't help but be surprised. You then moved out the name "M" and stepped forward to let him know that you are powerful. This is another key to using the weakness of the other side. In short, when you want to use the weakness of the other party as a weakness, you must not disclose his weakness in front of everyone. You can only flash his words in a way that makes him understand and control him to death. In this case, how dare he tear his face? Every time he quarrels, he will of course be forced to erect a white flag. 3. The fox always reveals the tail and everyone wants to cover up their weaknesses and ugliness. Some of the mentally ill people are very deep, and it is difficult for people to grasp the handle. However, "the road is one foot high, the magic height is one foot", and the fox that is licking will also reveal the tail. Here are a few ways to set out the tail of the refusal and the covert, let him take the initiative to confess and show his own feet. 1 stunned the snake, swindling his mouth and using intimidation. The Tang Dynasty had a county magistrate named Wang Lu, who had secretly bribed and accepted bribes since taking office. Jane also followed suit and asked for bribes. The people complained and complained. One day, Wang Lu learned that his superiors would come to visit the people's feelings and clean up the rule. He couldn't help but worry about the black silk cap on his head. In the review of the official documents, he just saw the people in the county’s name confessing to the stack of the main book in his hand, and it was even more optimistic. In his worries, he involuntarily approved the eight red characters on the slogan, "Whether it was grass, whether it was already a snake," thus revealing the fear of being afraid of the main book and being implicated in his own fear. Unconscious stunned snakes will make the opponents alert, precautionary, consciously stunned, but can make the opponent panic and promise all your requirements. Some judges are good at using this strategy of screaming and screaming, deliberately telling something known to make the criminal or opponent believe that he has mastered all the evidence. The criminals then slammed everything that they knew or did. 2 lead the snake out of the hole, set the trap, circle around. The meaning of this technique is that in the argument, he has mastered enough powerful evidence to subdue his opponent, but he is not thrown out because the time is not mature or the environment is not suitable. In order to be able to throw evidence, some measures must be taken to induce the opponent to enter the time or environment he needs, and then defeat in one fell swoop. The key to implementing this technique is “introduction”. There are two links in “引引”: one is timing and the environment. When to introduce, to what extent each step is introduced, and the introduction is not suitable, we must consider the opportunities and atmosphere we face; it is not appropriate to be too hasty or slow. The second is ingenuity and nature. Since it is necessary for the opponent's ideas to develop according to their own wishes, this requires that the leader can not find the flaws, must be seamless, natural, and step by step to the predetermined goal. For example, when a college student comes to visit a family, his father calls for a bottle of Moutai to go to a nearby store. Waiting for the wine to buy back, found that it is a fake. The father took the fake wine in his arms, went to the store, and let the owner take a bottle of Maojiu. The father carefully examined the wine and said to himself: "Hey, there are too many Maotais in this year!" The owner grabbed the words: "You can rest assured, I am a big fake here!" Father still sighs: "Ming, on I have bought a bottle in a shop in the city center. The owner is not packing the ticket and saying absolutely not only. Who knows that it is open - it is a dollar and a half kilogram of sorghum wine!" The owner said: "You go find him!" The father said with a sad face: "It has been a few days before the bottle is opened. Will he still accept the account?" The shop owner sighed: "You found it at the time, he dared not recognize it!" The father asked seriously: "If I found out at the time, he still didn't recognize the account and set up the store owner's advice day:" Go to the Industry and Commerce Bureau! He is not afraid of it? "My father saw the time has come, such as a son hiding aside, and then took out the fake wine from his arms:" Good! Please see what you should do? "The owner is stupid:" Ming... I can't afford it, sorry! I refund, I refund! "3 pretending to be unreasonable, bringing out the horse's foot, using the radical method. A rich woman is a young man for many years. This man can't stand this kind of money and physical trade, and another woman is loved by love. Rich woman hates life. The design framed the young man and invited him to the villa for a night of joy. The young man refused, and the rich woman would sue him in the name of rape. The judge asked: "The defendant, did you rape her?" "The young man replied: "Rape." "The judge is the same:" How many times have you raped? At this time, the young man pretended to be pious. He replied: "Only this time, I hope the judge can read my first crime and punish it lightly." "As soon as this language came out, Fu Po shouted under the hall: "We have lived together for many years, and he raped me hundreds of times!" As a result, the rich woman did not fight herself, the young man was acquitted, and thus got rid of the entanglement of the rich woman, and established her own family with the woman. 4 vote for its good, satisfying the desire, wearing a high hat. As the saying goes, If you give a person enough rope, he will hang himself. When he gives him a chance, he will lose his own food. He will constantly reveal the elements for you to die. When the new official takes office, there is There are bureaucrats and teachers in the family, and none of them wants to find a chance to try it. Once there is a leak, they will swarm and see the machine. If the officer likes to profit They will make him profitable; if the official is lascivious, they will let him possess all kinds of beautiful women. In short, everything is done, so that he secretly grasps the handle of the official. Later, when Although the official regrets and wakes up, but because of the authorization, he is forced to be controlled and controlled by these people. From the above tricks, it is necessary to manipulate the purpose, take the initiative, and often use a variety of techniques. Human life The "three-dimensional war" on the field. 4. No car was built in the 1930s. Wang Jialie, the former commander of the 25th Army and the chairman of Guizhou Province, was subordinated to Chiang Kai-shek. In fact, he dominated Guizhou and resisted the infiltration of Chiang Kai-shek. In order to control the power of Guizhou, Chiang Kai-shek used some methods to transfer Wang Jialie out of Guizhou, which made him lose support. But Wang Jialie was not an incompetent generation, and he did not leave the nest anyway. Therefore, Chiang Kai-shek designed a trick to tune the tiger away from the mountain. 1935 One day in May, Chiang Kai-shek instructed Zhang Xueliang to assist him in the implementation of this trick. On the second day, Chiang Kai-shek flew to Guiyang by special plane, and Zhang Xueliang also drove his plane to go. After Guiyang, Chiang Kai-shek said that he was with Zhang Xueliang. Guiyang came to play. The next day, Jiang and Zhang wanted to return to Wuhan, and Wang Jialie and Li Guizhou military and political officials went to the airport to see him off. When Jiang’s special plane took off, Zhang Xueliang said to Wang Jialie: "Pharaoh, you have not sat by me personally. The plane, you come up, I let you look at the beauty of Guiyang at high altitude, and then send you down. "Wang Jialie was completely unprepared, and he got on the plane. The plane vacated and flew north. Wang Jialie knew that he was fooled. He then couldn't help. Then, Chiang Kai-shek nicknamed Wang Jialie, who was weak, immediately ordered the Central Army to enter Guizhou. Wang Jialie After being defrauded in Wuhan, he was transferred to Nanjing. Chiang Kai-shek gave him a false title of the Senate of the military Senate. He has been idle in Nanjing since then. Chiang Kai-shek also appointed his confidant Tianzhongxin as the chairman of Guizhou Province and removed all the confidants of Wang Jialie. The other army was completely adapted and demoted, and most of the officers were demoted and replaced. At this point, the shackles were disintegrated, and Guizhou became the world of Chiang Kai-shek. Chiang Kai-shek’s plan to adjust the tiger’s departure from the mountains was to create a handle. The handle was that Wang Jialie was weak, and seized the knife. The whole army became a pawn for Chiang. Chiang Kai-shek used the plane to defraud the staff and created a good handle for himself. Speaking of the technology of making handles. Come, the Ming Dynasty Zhang Juzheng used a handle to reach two people, it is amazing. When the Ming Emperor Zhu Xi was in position, it was only 10 The imperial power was divided by three people. There were eunuchs Feng Bao in the palace, and there were cabinets in the palace, Gao Gong and Zhang Juzheng. Among them, several of them were the most scheming. In order to monopolize power, he came up with a poison of two birds. The Hong dynasty was close, and the relationship was called brothers and brothers. The Ming Dynasty accepted the lessons of the two generations of the eunuchs in the Tang and Song Dynasties. The eunuchs were very strict in the early stage, and the eunuchs were not well known. Gao Ju saw Zhang Juzheng close to himself, naturally he could not help himself. As a confidant, he was discussed with Zhang Juzheng. The first step became, Zhang Juzheng began the second step. He sent a party to be a eunuch, mixed into the palace, pretending to kill the gods in the middle of the upper class. The eunuchs took the assassin. But no matter how the trial was conducted, the Like did not say who the master was. Feng Bao had no choice but to ask Zhang Juzheng for advice. Zhang Juzheng pretended to say: "This assassin looks like a eunuch, clearly distinguishing himself from the disaster. you. Who wants to punish and punish the minister? Feng Bao thought for a moment, only the minister meant that Zhang Juzheng himself and Gao Gong. Feng Bao remembered Gao Gong’s disdainful vision and several arguments with himself. It is clear that he wants to kill himself. So go back and continue to interrogate. Going back to Shengtang, Feng Bao said to the assassin: "I know that Gao Gong sent you here. As long as you recruit Gao Gong is the mastermind, I will not kill you, but also keep you an official. The assassin nodded and acknowledged, drawing and writing. The gods saw the confession of the confession, and the heart was angry, but the high hunter was the former dynasty, so he hinted that he had retired. Zhang Juzheng let the servant turn over. Shenzong heard that the assassin retracted, personally Interrogation. The assassin said that the original confession was taught to himself when an eunuch interrogated. He pointed to Feng Bao who stood beside Shen Zong and said, "It is him!" "Shen Zong suspected that Feng Baona assassinated the emperor's case as a play, but used it as a trap against political opponents. He was so annoyed that he was alienated from Feng Bao. Zhang Juzheng first made an assassination handle, and let Feng Bao put it away. It was issued on the high arch, and after the high arch was overturned, it was retracted, and the handle was slightly repaired and placed on Feng Baotou. It realized its own power-taking plan. 5. The secret of secreting will be awarded to the bridge. When the emperor was in office, Wang Shijun was sent to Hedong to be an official. When he was about to leave the capital, the university advocated that Ting Yu recommended a very strong servant to him. After he took office, he was very experienced and cautious. Long, Wang Shijun valued him and used him as a confidant. Wang Shijun was ready to return to Beijing. The maid suddenly asked to leave. Wang Shijun was very strange and asked him why he did this. The man replied: "I am The guardian of the emperor is certain. The emperor told me to follow you. You have been an official for several years. There is nothing wrong with it. I will go back to Beijing in the first step to report to the emperor and say a few words for you. "Wang Shijun was frightened after listening. Many days, I thought about this matter and my legs trembled. Fortunately, I have not ill-treated this person, how scary! If it is not good for him, life will be gone. Wang Shijun knows how to hold it; he has to have a city to make friends, otherwise he will give people a handle and endless troubles. For this point, a gentleman’s experience is quite profound and worth sharing: “Holding is a magic weapon that many people use to keep mysterious power, but I But often can not catch, think about it is a loss. There is something in my heart. You regard it as the meaning of your own housekeeping. It is very high and looks very heavy, as if you have capital, subtle and deep because of it. But once you say it, you are gone, and if you have a city person who has mastered your connotation, he will be more qualified in front of you. Because you sell a piece of inner territory to others, people have greater inner power. Since his Ayutthaya has occupied the commanding heights, he can look down on your own small town on your own balcony, and you can see at a glance. In this way, you are neither self-sufficient nor mysterious, and naturally it is not precious! And if you want to return to other people, but the courtyard is deep and deep, you have no door. Therefore, beware of the colonization of your mind by your arrogance and humiliation! "Being new to a new interpersonal environment, we must pay more attention to the issue of holding and the city." Because at this time you are very easy to find that people are good, so they are said by a group of anger, all forget the ancient saying that only people say three-point live. Get along for a long time, understand the deepening, you see the bottom of this life, you will realize that what you have known is only one side of the family. At this time, you can see the complete three-dimensional and multifaceted people. So, you will consider turning back and keeping a distance from others to protect yourself. However, if you hand over yourself, it will mean that the water will be poured out and will not be returned. In this way, can you maintain an equal distance with people in the future? impossible. It’s hard for others to go straight to you and go to others, but it’s hard to move. No way! You have to live in these people with your nephews. Is this perhaps the biting little trouble that Zhang Ailing said? "In short, the heart of the dew is like a letter that is spread out in front of everyone, and it will make you obscured by people. It is dangerous to be at heart, because you have a controllable handle that will become a slave driven by you and cannot be independent." In real life, not all whispers can go quietly for a long time. There are three kinds of words that can't be said even if they are "quietly": 1 Don't say if you catch the wind. It’s very dangerous to catch a thief to be jealous and to be a traitor. This requires us to talk and do things with real evidence. If we whisper to the other person, it’s purely nonsense, it’s very dangerous, especially for one person. Privacy is not allowed to openly and privately. As you said, a man and a woman hug and kiss in the shade of the street, the scene is really harder than playing a movie. If the listener is sent out, the party may hate you for yelling at you, waiting for an opportunity to retaliate against you, or even face-to-face, confrontation, asking you to say why, what do you say? Say the whisper again, please come up with evidence! You didn't have a video camera at the time, and there was no recording. How can you prove that a man and a woman had such a warm performance? Only a palm of your hand! Is it okay to apologize? People have such a move, and you have no evidence. Such whispers are a kind of catching the wind and catching the shadows. People's heart is unpredictable, not necessarily right, but it makes no sense. We can't just whisper, but we don't care about the consequences. 2 Do not say if you violate the rules and leaks. From small units to a country in a certain period of time, there are secrets within a certain range. We can only keep our mouths shut and not leak. Some people are thin and undisciplined, and privately secretly go out of the secret, making a pass ten, ten pass, and a household name. Some people with bad minds get the best, and take it as a stepping stone for profit. Even the country caused serious losses. Even if internal news, such as those involving personnel changes, don't whisper to the people concerned, if you change in the middle, how can you appease others? If this is the case, who is responsible for the contradiction? Secrets to friends and relatives are not harmful to others. You eagerly whispered to him, he may think that this is a leak of secrets, so he criticized, accused you, and even sued you, what is your decent? Some people don't like to listen to those whispers, he doesn't lead you, and that doesn't mean anything. "Affectionate should laugh at me, early white hair", or block the feelings, keep your mouth shut. 3 Do not say if you disclose a private message. It should be noted that some people in this world are very strange. When they are in love with each other, they have nothing to say, and they are ruthless. If the relationship is bleak and slightly thin, they will turn against each other, become ruthless and ruthless, even add fuel and vinegar, and they will not hesitate to frame it. the goal of. As everyone knows, those who shake off whispers will also suffer. I. We know that most of the whispers are spread between the two. I ask, can you prove that I have this one? Even if the other party screams out of anger, write your whisper as a novel, and put you in a position that is hard to argue with ten times your strength. Even if you lose both, you are not sold out in vain. What is the result? You are pleased to sell, ask for fame, or vent your anger, count others, but unfortunately are sneaked. Therefore, if you listen to the whisper, there is no need to shake outside. Anyone in this world has a world of freedom, or pay attention to faith, based on kindness, why do people make a bite? In the end, it should be especially emphasized that it is unfavorable to tell secrets, and it is also not safe to listen to secrets. Many people are not dying because they share the secrets of others. Many people break the mirror because the mirror lets them see their ugliness. They can't stand those who have seen their ugliness. If you know the details of others' disgrace, others will not be friendly, especially those who have the power and will find opportunities to attack you. Listening to secrets is also a handle, especially paying attention to not sharing secrets with people who are stronger than you. Secret, can’t listen, can’t say it.

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